So I'm still relatively new to this forum and have loved that I have a place where people understand the dilemma that IS step. I found another place...marriage counseling. Our first session was really good as the therapist really new about the step issues. After a short while, she explained to DH that I cannot win. No matter what I do it's either too much or not enough. She went on to say that DH's expectations of me are too high and he needs to give up the Brady Bunch dream since it's NOT gonna happen. I shared with her that I don't want to spend precious minutes of my life with SS17 and she said laughed and said, why would you?

Two weekends ago SS17 was his usual awful self and my DH took out his frustrations on my son, I got defensive of BS and couldn't even look at SS all weekend...ugh, too much to go into. Anyway, my DH finally removed the vehicle from SS17's possession, since DH found burn marks and weed in the driver's seat. Finally - DH got it, and because it was "his" idea, I'm no longer the nag. LOL The therapist PRAISED DH for him stepping up to be a dad instead of a friend. I almost threw up since I've said this for years...but at least he did it and was recognized for it by a neutral 3rd party. I hope DH continues to be the dad and has more "original" ideas.

This weekend was supposed to be another weekend with all of the kids. I was sick over it, actually physically sick. BS14 asked if he could go to his dad's because it's so uncomfortable here. BD17 asked for the car so she could escape to anywhere but here. I said this is ridiculous. One stinking, spoiled brat, pothead is making me, BS and BD not want to be in our own home? Oh nay nay! So I put on my big girl panties and prepared to brace myself for a fight. I needed to tell DH this had to change. It never went over well before. So, when I mentioned this to my DH, he calmly picked up the phone and told SS17 that we were going to take a break and that he needed to stay with his mom this weekend. I almost fell down!!

DH chose ME over his brat. I know there's a long road ahead, but I am starting to see glimmers of hope. I hope this is just the first of many breakthroughs. More counseling tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it, too!

Thanks for reading.