The BM decided she wanted to go to ss9 appt. with his psychologist yesterday. I missed a lot of what was said because of course I'm not a "parent" I'm just the person that's been taking care of him for most of his life but DH gave me a lovely recap! DH and Bowel Movement came back into the waiting area while SS9 went into the psychologist's office. I noticed that BM is almost livid. DH tells BM "you couldn't get the hint that she wanted you to shut up?" BM starts going off about how SS doesn't have ODD, and apparently she told the psych. the same and got shut down for it, big time! DH said he lost count of how many times the psch. had to tell BM she wasn't asking BM's opinion because SS lives with DH. BM also tried to tell the psych. how she had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and the psch. came out and told her she was full of shit. Now, back to the waiting area where DH, BM, and I are sitting, no one else is around I might add. BM is on her rant about how she hasn't seen SS do anything like we are claiming. I tell BM that's because you aren't around him like the rest of us. BM says when he lived with me...I cut her off when SS lived with you you dumped him off on other people. She ignores that comment and decides to counter with "well why is he so unhappy that he runs away when he's with you?" Me: because SS is trying to avoid the rules and structure of our household when he is with you or your family there's no rules or consequences for his actions. She gets defensive blah blah blah and then starts to lie about one time when SS got into trouble and I remember it perfectly. By that time I had heard enough and I told BM "that's not how it happened" BM wants to argue me down so I tell her you're a liar. Then BM says "you really want to do this right here you little bitch?" I would like to take this time to make it clear that I have been nothing but professional towards BM for the past 7 1/2 years. My reaction to BMs words is oh she wants to fight so I stand up and take a step forward, there's no way I was letting BM talk to me this way. Only, DH was faster he stood up at the same time and got in front of me and told BM "Don't you ever think you can talk to my wife like that! She takes care of our son! You don't have room to say anything! She's telling you the truth and you need to listen! She's been the only one there for him and you know it! She makes the decisions for him, not you!" At this point I notice that BM still has not moved from her chair and shortly after SS comes back out so everything ends there. DH goes back into the psych. office to reschedule and asks her opinion about SS going to spend time with BM, she tells DH it's not a good idea and that it needs to be just DH and myself for the next few appts. BM isn't needed.
Even though my behavior was completely inappropriate, I feel light as a feather today! The psychologist saw straight through BM and let her know it. I got some things off of my chest and showed BM she didn't scare me. But, most of all DH took up for me, put BM in her place, and even kinda praised me a little! I guess I'm glad I'm still hanging in here even after wanting to give up so many times.