So a lot has happened since the last post. Family based started coming once a week to each home. They are working with us to get into the psych and pushing for a TSS for SS4 to be able to return to daycare. Earliest appt available through their agency is at the end of the month. Well that doesn't work bc I return to my full-time work at middle of month and we need services ASAP! So we trumped BM's ass again and got shit done through the agency and are using another sister agency and have an appt on the 12th.

So last night I find out the daycare that we have been fighting to get SS back into is closing. Found out via Facebook from other moms. So this sucks. Now what to do? There are 3 daycares in town. The one we liked is closing. The other one we have left before because they do not want to work with the behaviors and the last one we refuse to send him there because it is dirty and stinky. So blah!

We have been gathering information on Pre-Schools, but BM doesn't want him in a full day full week program bc she would be responsible for driving him about 20 miles one way on Thursday and Friday after just picking him up on Wednesday evening.

(Custody is for us Saturday evening through Wednesday evening and then BM has him Wednesday to Saturday evening.) She flat out refuses to work with us on anything for him. (Just like witholding all of the family based information for over a month and draggin her feet to get the psych. She said she would set it all up to help us since we both work and she doesn't and she could get him to the appts- which she refuses to take him to anyhow)-

So far I have found several options for Pre-School including one that is only Monday and Wednesday from 9-2:30- (so BM would not have to be involved at all- even though I'd really like to screw her and put him in the 11:30-2 one on Tuesday and Thursday so she would have to grow up and be responsible for once. But since we are paying for it- I'd like him to get what we are paying for and actually be able to learn instead of paying for 2 days and him only going 1.) The only issue is childcare in between bc DH and I both work 7-3 M-F and both have weekend jobs. So we're still trying to work that out. And trying to figure out childcare for Tuesdays as well.

It must be nice for BM to be able to sit back and collect child support (even though we have him more than she does), collect cash assistance, as well as welfare and food stamps, live rent free in her bf's parent's basement, drive her bf's vehicle and only work 2 nights a week as a certified ass wiper. Whilest DH and I both have 2 jobs, finally own both of our vehicles, pay all our utilities and are paying for our house we bought, plus her child support. I'm damn proud of DH and I for how much we bust our asses and am happy that him and I are on a united front with each other.

We had been fighting a lot bc of BM and her shenanigans, and DH flipped on me the one night and told me I had NO right to be pissed at her BS. I told DH if that's how he felt after all I have done for SS and him, then I was done parenting SS and would completely detach myself from him. That means he would be the one cooking, cleaning, bathing, bed, doing all their laundry, and teaching SS as well as exchanges would have to be him not me anymore. He didn't like that idea at all. I had explained to DH that while I understand we are both busting our asses, he really needed to stop and think about all that I really do for SS. I do the exchanges and never have asked DH to lift a finger around the house (other than mowing a very steep bank every other week- I mow the rest of the yard).

He kept quiet for a few minutes obviously thinking about what I had just informed him. And finally it seemed to click to him. He gave me a huge hug and said thank you for all that you do. I was very happy. I then asked him if I had a right to be pissed and he said he guesses-sarcastically. I told him whatever- I feel that I have full right to be pissed bc all she ever does is screw us over. He said he sees my frustration and doesn't want me to be stressed bc of his screw ups in having a child with her. I told him it may have been a mistake to have a child with her, but that we would never trade SS for the world- just would trade all of the situations that arise bc of BM. He told me I have a right to be pissed, but try not to gripe to him bc he gets it from both BM and I then. I told him if he is going to be a Dad and my husband, he has to learn to deal with it. But things have been much better for us since this convo as well.

Can't wait to get SS tonight- its a Mama and SS night as DH is on a 24 hour shift through tomorrow morning. Right before he left on Wednesday he was fussy and didn't want to go. Told him he didn't have a choice- we wish he could stay all the time, but he has to go see BM. He asks why- and I said it's the law- he has to see both parents- asked if he was excited to see his little sis or his dog or fish and he says no- ask him if he's ready to see BM and he hits me with this- I like you better than BM's first and last name. (He calls her still by her first and last name.) I asked him why he likes me better and he told me at 4 years old- it's because you love me. Bm's first and last name hates me. She doesn't love me. I procede to ask SS why he feels this way - he says its bc just bc mama- and he is almost crying. I hug SS and Tell SS ok and for him to remember that daddy and I love him and care for him very much and never did anything about the BM info except say okay since he was obviously upset. Breaks my heart every Wednesday to have to say goodbye to him and to hear things like this out of such a young child. I hate doing it. Wednesday Thursday and Friday nights seem to drag forever and Saturdays really drag. I can't wait til 5p- especially knowing that he was so reluctant to go back on Wednesday night- even was fussy at exchange and didn't want to get out of Daddy's vehicle. Come on 5p!

I really hope that we are finding the light at the end of the tunnel finally.