I'll recap my weekend until now. Thursday my husband and I (we married last may but had our wedding just this past weekend)were packing our things for the weekend away and decided since we hadn't gotten anniversary gifts we would go together today, Monday, on our last day off before work. Friday we wake up and I leave in the morning to head to the resort to meet up with my family that had flown in and visit with them along with my wedding party as we were rehearsing that night. My husband was to pick SDalmost9 up from her Mom around 5pm and his parents would come later that night to join.

Every day is a inner battle with the resentment I feel. I hate that these people that I've had to accept into my life in order to be with my husband cause me such stress and unhappiness. It feels like it is just not fair that in order to be with the man I love, I must struggle with this for probably the rest of my life. The worst is of course the BM. Next would be the MIL and SIL, and then my step daughter. She is easiest to deal with because after all she is a kid and I shouldnt hold anything against her but even she is too much to handle a lot of the time.

I am pissed. My husband insists we make special meals the 4 or 5 nights per week SDalmost9 is with us because she barely eats anything as it is. We stick to the meals we know she likes to avoid a problem..whatever. I like one or two of the 5 or 6 repetitve meals we have but I just deal with it. SD has slowly began the "I dont like it anymore" thing and now when we are cooking her "special" meals she isnt even eating them. Tonight I made one of the dinners she likes...that Im not spectacularly fond of..and guess what she doesnt like it anymore.

How do you know if you are still "in love" or just "love" your husband? Ive been thinking about this a lot lately. Obviously I know its normal for passion to die down after years of being with someone........but I find myself not even leaning over for a kiss or every saying goodnight to my husband before turning over to go to sleep some nights. I don't get a "loving" feeling when we have sex ---I wont even call it "making love"--because it feels icky to me to even say that but I dont think that is anything new...Ive never liked that term. ??