stepmomsoon's Blog
*Advice needed* but not on step parenting for once.. lol ;)
Ex and I have week on/week off shared parenting - which for the most part works.
Where it hasn't been working for the past 2 years is with regards to our 11 year old daughters school work.
Last year, our daughter began, for the first time in her life, to get bad grades in social studies. Since I was the only one checking the online "home access page" for her school, I noticed her grades slipping immediately, got to the root cause and worked with her teachers to fix it. It was basic note taking in class (something that as a 4th grader she had never done) and study skills.
*Sigh* Anyone else get depressed when it's time for the stepkids to come back..?
After 3 wonderful evenings without the stepkids.. it's now time for them to come back to our house.. ugh.
I am not looking forward to them being there when I get home.. their crap everywhere, the fact that they hog an entire room - the main living room and never leave it, how loud they are, how disrespectful they are, how they complain about everything.. just THEM.
anyone had it so rough w/ stepkids that they don't think they love DH anymore..
I feel I can't/don't want to do this anymore.
I come home every day to people that could care less if I am dead or alive (meaning the skids)..
I know that they don't want me there.. they don't like me.. they have been fed a steady stream of lies and "secrets about me" by their sister and mom for almost 4 years now and there is no way I'm changing how they feel about me. They believe them.. I don't blame them. I'd believe my mom and sister over a step mom I don't want any day..
ugh.
Ok, after a very rough week last week, DH and I patched things up.. even though I was "Done" we got past it.. not that all is forgotten and DH knows this.
We had a weekend without the kids to just sit and really hash things out..
Saturday, we went to look at a kitten that a friend of mine who owns the rescue we got our current cat from recommended for us.. our cat is dying from cancer. Well, it's not exactly "our cat".. my daughter and I had this cat before we got involved with DH and skids.. the cat adores my daughter and me.. and can't stand the skids.
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game over.
Seriously.. I am looking at apartments online today and thinking "fuck this shit"..
Let me start with 3 years ago.. my then ss9 had a report due. A report he didn't tell anyone about until 7pm the night before it was due.
DH told him to sit down and not get up until it was done. When he finally completed it, it was almost 9pm and DH looked it over and wasn't happy with it, so he "edited" it.. uhmm, no.. he rewrote the damn thing! I warned him, not to. I told him not to type it up for him.
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Is DH's expectation realistic?
DH works from home.. has the house to himself all day. I go to an office every day.. rush out the door and rush home to get some kid some place almost every day..
We have his kids full time, my BD a week on and a week off.
On the weeks we only have his kids, I still get my daughter Tuesday and Thursday after school due to her fathers schedule - due to her sports I am literally gone till almost 8pm on those nights.
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How to proceed..
Well, last weekend my BD had her birthday. It was a small gathering of just family - me, dh, skids and my mom and sdad.. nothing huge as she was having a bday slumber party with her buddies the following weekend.
As usual.. ss12 tried to pull some bullshit and DH sent him to his room. We had decided well before the party that ss12 wasn't going to shit on her birthday again this year.
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DH and I had a chat about SK12... brutally honest..
After yet another afternoon and evening of misery, I said to DH "are you sick of living like this?".. "we have a choice, you know - continue on like this and be unhappy every day or take charge and change things as of this moment."
Not sure if he ever thought of it like that, but for some reason those words hit him right between the eyes...
DH and I made a list of what just one day (yesterday) is like with regards to SK12 and how it affects everyone and everything else..
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wow.. more sk12 bs.. finally DH sees how much hate this kid has for me..
Another weekend.. more crap each day from sk12..
Every damn day of my life he does something to put our home in a bad mood..
Friday night.. we were going to chill out and all watch a movie.. when I went to see what was available I noticed someone purchased "Scary Movie V".. now I know for a fact it wasn't me.. DH said it wasn't him. And my daughter wouldn't know Scary Movie V from Shrek.. plus she wasn't there when it was purchased. And of course neither sk did it even though we know they like the "Scary Movie" series... whatever - liars!
I can't pretend like I have any good feelings about this kid anymore..
Ok.. I can't stand him.. I dislike him.. I hate him being in my life..
There.. it's out in the wide open..
I'm not going to pretend like it's nothing.. like "oh, we like each other.. we just have difficulties from time to time".. uh, no.. ss12 and I hate each other and its turning into war..
He is outright a dick to me.. plain and simple. Always has been - always will be. We get him on it, but it never changes.. it's who he is.