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stepmomsoon's Blog

The holidays.. how do you tell MIL you don't want adult SD there?

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DH has an adult adopted stepdaughter. She's 23 and is his ex wife's daughter from her first hubby (aka sperm donor).. DH adopted her at 3 and raised her as his own.

When he and BM got divorced the daughter took sides with BM - understandably so as that's who most kids are loyal to. She was 17 at the time.

Inconsideration - caused a night from HELL - thanks skids!

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EVERY day I have to tell the skids the same thing: please make sure you close the door(s) behind you and don't leave doors open - meaning, if you run out to the car to grab something you forgot or if you take out the trash, close the door behind you!

Why? We have a new kitten. This kitten was brought into the home to ease my daughters heartbreak when we have to put her cat who has cancer to sleep - which will be soon. The kitten has a tendency to try to run out the door as did our old cat - now that he is sick, he really doesn't have the energy to try it anymore.

Family movie night.. not so much.. advice?

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Every other weekend we have all the kids - SS's 12 & 14 and my daughter who just turned 11.

The SS's, thanks to their bad influence older sister, have been waaaaay overexposed to movies and things they shouldn't have from a very early age so they prefer to push the limits on what is acceptable to watch and what isn't.

In the past, trying to decide what movie to watch on family movie night was a hellish debacle.. so we kind of put an end to it and just watched shows on TV instead..

It never ends..parent teacher conference about ss12

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Parent teacher conference last night for ss12..

I knew I shouldn't have gone from the minute DH asked ss12 "so, am I going to hear good stuff or bad stuff from your teachers?" and ss12's reply was "I dunno...."

My gut told me it wasn't going to be all puppies and daisies, but DH wanted me to go and be a part of it..

So we get there and at first we hear the usual stuff about grades - which they were great (we knew this going in).. ss12 is extremely bright and really does have a gift with regards to learning.

Sports fees.. What would you do when BM "doesn't have" her half?

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OMG, this woman!!

She screwed us out of fees for football claiming she "never agreed to it" after she moved away and dumped the kids on us. (for the record, she fully agreed to and supported both kids playing for the past 2 years). She dumped the kids and moved in May - conditioning for football began at the end of June. Fees were due around the same time.

**Let me also add that she conveniently "lost her job" at the same time as the move**

It's getting really difficult to not tell BM off.. advice on how to keep my mouth shut?

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It's no secret that BM and I HATE each other..

Fair enough.. I know this is pretty much the norm with these kinds of things and a lot of us have to deal with it.

BM also is total trash - moved away and dumped kids on us in 2010.. moved back to our neighborhood in 2011, then away in 2013. All because of her man - a man that has cheated on her more than once (she actually went to the chicks house and walked in on him naked on her couch!!).. not only does he cheat, but he pretty much abandoned his own kids and hates BM's kids.. Needless to say, he's a real winner..

Funny question - do you ever hide food from your stepkids?

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My step sons will eat up everything in the house! They have no problem eating an entire bag of chips, box of cereal.. and not give a crap if anyone else in the house gets any. If I make a pan of brownies, they will cut a huge piece, snarf it down and try to sneak seconds before anyone else gets a piece.. If they ask for a second piece (or chunk) and you say no, they become obsessed with other people getting some and keep bugging you for more.. I literally have to hide them after they get a piece so they don't have any idea how much is left!!

Question about "forgiveness".. and letting go of things. Where is your line in the sand?

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My DH and his whole family are a bunch of "forgiving" Christians - nothing against any religion.. I have no issues with that and I respect their belief. However, they just seem to forgive everyone and let everything go - because that is "God's way"..

I don't share this belief. I'm a pretty forgiving person - to a point. Once I forgive you and reset the score to zero I can act like nothing bad ever happened and not hold a grudge.

However, there are some people - in my opinion - that are rats and do not deserve forgiveness or a second chance/do over, etc.

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