stepmom31's Blog
Heard from DH's brother's wife that BM is spewing nasty stuff about me on FB.
BM hasn't stopped yet since yesterday's drama, now she's telling all her Facebook friends probably because she's run out of family who are willing to listen to her stupidity.
I wish I had reached this state of mind long long ago, because I was able to just shrug it off, I'm not even interested in knowing what she's saying.
So proud of DH, and Myself
I think DH has seen the light. And me too.
Over the weekend, he had a chat with skids about respecting me, their respect level had declined ever since BM yelled at me. DH did it because his own brother caught SS giving me attitude and put SS in his place.
Today, he stood up for me when BM started on her bullshit. She was trying to tell him that I am not supposed to have an opinion when it comes to SD's school stuff and he told her he discusses stuff with me and values my opinion. She carried on via text and email for hours!
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Whoever described stepfamily life as a ROLLERCOASTER was spot on!
Out of the depths of despair comes a stronger person.
So, after all the bullshit about BM, DH decided to blame me for his drinking and his utterly stupid behavior. That was the last straw for me.
After crying my eyes out, I reached out to people who love me. After some very insightful conversation with my sis and my mum, I learnt 2 very important things.
1. He may blame ME but I am not going to sit back and ACCEPT the blame for things that are not my doing, no way. I found a new and powerful attitude.
He blames ME
I can't sleep.
DH decided to sleep on in the living room tonight, and yup the skids are here, so they know.
He blames me for him not having a great supportive relationship with BM and therefore, for the failures of his children, since BM has not been able to raise them properly over the past 3 years that we have been married.
He blames ME for his own relationship with the skids being 'cold' (they never return his calls etc) although it was plain to me that HE lapsed in making the effort. I guess it's easier to blame me.
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Note to SELF - this life is hell. I am not a saint UPDATE
So had another chat with DH and this is what I get:
1. He doesn't want to make waves with BM because BM's dad has very powerful lawyer friends who can make our life a living hell if he tries to do anything she doesn't want. He thinks he can make waves with her only after his legal obligation is over and they both are over 18, FIVE more years!
and
Life is hard for BM and she calls on DH
DH and I had a fight. I knew BM would take the opportunity to swoop in.
Here is her plea to DH:
I wish we could be friends, wish we could talk and discuss and be normal... wish I could have some kind of better relationship that would make raising the kids easier, its soo hard sometimes, ya know? To not have their actual dad to back me up right then in the moment during the rough times... ugh and they are now just starting their teenage years *SIGHHHHHH*
DH: "What happened now?
(missing text to BM)
BM: Just everyday normal life.
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Is it normal for ex-spouses to want to share emotional moments about their kids with each other?
For those of you that have ex-spouses, is it normal to lean on the ex-spouse to gush over milestone things e.g. BM to DH: Oh X, OUR daughter is going to high school now, wow! Isn't it awesome!
Does your partner act like this with his/her ex? Or does the gushing over such milestone moments (for stepkids) take place with you?
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It must be Monday!
So many of you out there!! Anyway, just wanted to wish you all a good week!!!!
Trying to send some positive vibes out into the world, I know I sure could use some, and I'd bet you all could too.
You didn't ask me, so nope, back to BM's they go. :)
After a fight last week over DH`s communication with BM, we finally made up this weekend.
But yesterday DH did it again. He called BM to ask if he can drop kids back on Mon instead because we had family over and were barbeque-ing and staying up late. Well the mistake he made was asking her before asking me. I found out when he was telling the kids he'd drop them back on Mon - another mistake really - telling the kids before telling me!
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Joke's on her really
So yes, BM's baby is due on DH's birthday and it weirded me out, but damn I have to laugh.
Thinking of it this way - it must suck worse for BM and her bf! The skids started to sound all worried and anxious when telling us about the date, saying 'we hope it comes on these days before'. LOL I think it's possible that BM will induce or have a C-section just to NOT have the baby on DH's birthday. And me trying to think positive here, if that baby does share DH's birthday, it means we might always have DH's birthday without skids! Sure DH will miss them, but not me!
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