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Sad

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Thinking about this made me very sad:

I was telling myself I have the cutest baby in the world.

I told DH I have the cutest baby in the world, and, well, I'm allowed to say it because, heck, it's the only baby I have.

Then I thought about how he can't share that same feeling with me about our child.

Because he has 2 others, and he probably thought it for HIS first child, but after that, well, no one can take that away from his first child, who now happens to look very much like her mother.

BM's long-distance Boyfriend is coming to visit

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BM found a boyfriend some states away. She told DH she knew him in high-school. Her sis told MIL that she met him on the Internet. Who knows what to believe?

Anyway, she's already talked to the kids about moving there. And of course DH says he is willing to spend every last dime to make sure his kids aren't completely taken out of his life.

Catch Flies With Honey

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I have snooped more than once at the texts between DH and BM. And the stuff I saw usually irritated me tremendously, leading to arguments with DH who pretty much defended his behavior and excused BM's behavior. BM gives orders rather than asks politely and it really irks me to see her order my husband around like if he's her puppet. DH has reached the point of not answering her, but she still sends the orders.

SD12 & Facebook Complications

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BM opened a FB account for SD12. BM has the password for it but refused to give DH the password. Both DH and I blocked BM from our FB accounts.

SD now wants to add DH, and that's his daughter and he doesn't have the password so of course he wants to add her esp. in order to monitor her a little bit as she is becoming a teenager.

Your ideas for Boundaries and House Rules

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DH agreed to make some time to discuss boundaries and rules etc.

This is because, in discussion after an argument, it turns out that, in his mind, he has actually put some boundaries in place. These boundaries were NEVER communicated to me, so we are currently on 2 WAYYYYYY different pages WRT boundaries and house rules. This means we both still get upset over things as if there are no boundaries in place. But he finally seems interested in talking it through in the hopes that there will be more peace within our marriage because he doesn't want to fight with me.

Why won't the kids just talk to dad?

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I'm just in a pissy mood right now.
Here comes the weekend.

BM complained to DH that she has to take the kids (SD12 & SS10) to the mall every Friday to hang out with their friends. And then she said that the kids complained that he doesn't do those kinds of things with them.

WTH! She HAS to take the kids to mall?? Do the kids tell her when to jump and how high?
WTH! The kids never once asked DH about any such outing, never even mentioned that that's what they currently do.

Why won't the kids just talk to dad?
SIGH

Socially Unacceptable

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Some persons believe that wishing BM dead is socially unacceptable, and I firmly believe that they are all entitled to their opinion.

However, aren't we really HERE because the socially acceptable understanding of step-family life just doesn't cut it for us stepparents?

Aren't we here so that we can do what is socially unacceptable and VENT e.g. call BM that demeaning name we want to, or admit to hating the Skids, or complain about how unfair the system is etc. while we search for the answers to make our situations better or for the courage to leave unfixable situations?

Just a Vent

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Being a stepmom is a thankless job. You're like a glorified babysitter but without the pay, while the actual mom pretty much gets paid to take care of her own kids. You get to cook and clean and wash and help with homework. You have to give love freely while expecting none in return. You have to treat them as if they were your own kids but you can't actually dress/feed/discipline/etc. them as if they were your own. You don't get a weekend off, while the actual mom gets every weekend off.

SD - delayed reaction to OUR baby? Is this the beginning of.... ?

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Yesterday, SD11 told DH that he's not the father she wants.

We're thinking it could be a delayed reaction to the baby. She was so accepting, excited and enthusiastic about little sister, we were not worried about her at all. We were more worried about SS10 who had been the baby of the family and who openly expressed his apprehension and worry about new baby. I was glad when we had a girl because I knew it would make the transition for SS easier, and even so, he was wary of baby in the beginning and is only now starting to really warm up.

SD11 and cellphone

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SD11 started bringing her cell phone regularly since New Years. DH said ok to it then so that she can wish her friends Happy New Year, now it's attached to her with super glue.

I need to vent, I feel so spied on. I'm trying so hard not to vent to DH because he is so stressed out with other things.

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