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It's over, I'm leaving.

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So we broke up on NYE. He got drunk and was an asshole, kicked me out of a cab in the middle of nowhere so I had to walk to a friend's house. Pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back.

He's upset. But I told him I couldn't handle him treating me poorly ontop of all the shit I have to deal with in regards to BM and the SKids. I told him he'd have to treat me like gold for me to justify hanging around any longer. But he couldn't even treat me like silver.

"Surprise" visits from Skids.

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BM2's kids (SS4 and SS10) have been coming for surprise extra visits 1-2x a week for the past couple months. This is from the BM who, after losing custody for burning her house down while high on drugs (with skids inside), refused to let us see the Skids at all for 3 months after she regained custody. And now (approx 1yr later) she jumps at any chance to leave them with us. Last week she had a doctors appointment so she figured since they had to come here for an hour they may as well just stay here for the night. I don't even know the other reasons, I stopped asking.

Halloween - is this freaking weird? Or is it just me?

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OH went trick or treating this year with SS4 and SS10 (BM1 could not take them) but the weird part was the three of them went with SS11, BM2, SS11's siblings, and BM2's husband. Is that weird?! I don't think it bothers me it just sounds like an extremely awkward situation to me.. OH wanted me to meet up with them but I ended up having to work late.. I'm glad I didn't, that would be super uncomfortable!

I feel like giving up. And it's only been 2 years.

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I am just so sick of being miserable and depressed all the time. I am constantly being let down or made to feel like an outsider. I have begun to resent weekends. I actually prefer being at work to being at home. This house, my OH, his kids. It all angers or upsets me. Nothing good ever happens here.

Best birthday present ever.

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A SKid free weekend. In fact, 2 SKid free weekends in one month!!

So, today is my birthday. I'm a young'in so I won't disclose how old I've turned, by my OH has been fantastic today. He surprised me with a dozen roses (pink, red and white) and is taking me out to dinner in a couple hours. My coworkers brought my brownies and cupcakes and I got a few nice cards in the mail.

BM moved 1 block over...

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And it's been just as bad as I figured. She and the Skids have "randomly" showed up at our house a minimum of twice a week since they moved at the beginning of September. And conveniently enough it's always been when I'm at work. It's like they walk passed our house, see my car is gone, and decide to stop in and visit. They have NEVER stopped by when I've been home. Never. Probably because BM knows it's inappropriate and I would not be happy with it!

Putting Skids on benefits package?

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I offered to list SS10 and SS4 on my benefits package, that will give 80% coverage for medical, dental and vision. In exchange for this, I feel as though BM should be responsible for paying the 20%. BM feels that they should still split the 20% 50/50. I don't think that's fair because if it weren't for my benefits she'd be paying 50%. She should be happy to get the break since she doesn't have any coverage for the kids at all.

I don't know. What do you think? (Especially those of you that are BMs?)

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