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Panic Attack about to consume me at work

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I don't know why this is so bad for me right now! I emailed my kids dad this morning to let him know summer care arrangements and that I would be moving back to where we lived before (closer to him) and that the kids will attend their old school again next year.

He has made my life such hell for so long that if there is the slightest ripple he goes off the deep end. I am just dreading the fall out of moving. Tying desperately to breathe and not have a break down at work... especially since I have a new boss who has only been here for a week!!

Bio Brag time!!

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My kids got report cards sent home. My son is so freaking awesome! He is at "mastering" level on everything (they don't do alphabet grades yet)! He had a whole paragraph written for each subject about how smart and motivated and just excited about learning he is. My heart exploded with joy reading it!

My daughter is the same way! She is in Kindergarten and since she is so far beyond grade level her teacher has her helping with the 3 kids that don't speak English. She is helping them learn to read! I am so very very proud of her too!

I got a place!

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I got the approval for an apartment. It's not the greatest thing ever but it is in the really good school district and it is big enough for me and my kiddos. I had really hoped for a house to rent but in weighing out the cost of summer childcare and deposits on top of hiring movers... only have a $99 deposit instead of $1500 makes a pretty big difference to me and my meager savings account.

All Hell Broke Loose

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It happened. We wound up in yet another fight this weekend. Of course it started out with SS's behavior and progressed. I have to say that I never knew that I had this level of bitch hiding inside of me. It's so great that my "husband" it the only person to ever be able to tap into that side of me....

Had a momentary glimmer of hope last night

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I came home from BS's practice about 8 last night. I left BD and SS with AHH since it was so nice out and BD wanted to play with her friends. I told them all that showers and PJ's needed to be on when I got home. They wake up at 5:30 so they have an early bedtime. Anyway, I sent BS upstairs right away to take a quick shower and as soon as he closed the bathroom door I hear "Who on earth stamped up the bathroom?!?!" I immediately look as BD6 and ask if it was her, she said no way mom- ink on paper only. So then after a bit of hounding SS8.5 admits to doing it.

The stress is breaking me

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I actually woke myself up last night yelling at AHH. I was dreaming about us fighting and I sat up in my sleep and started yelling that everything was bullshit and it was all his fault and that I hated him. He didn't budge and didn't say anything this morning about it. After I woke myself up I just laid back down and went to sleep again but this stress is just too much!

4 more days

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That's it. All hell can break loose in 4 days. I will be able to tell AHH that I am done. I will be able to tell him that he and his evil can both go to hell. I can tell MIL to F off. I can tell SIL to F off. I can do it all.

Lord please let me just get thru court with my ex and let me move on with my life. I almost lost it tonight. Trying to keep calm and deal with AHH and SS is just too much some days, and this one of those days....

MIL Rant

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This woman drives me crazy. It really sucks because there was a time when things were really good with us and we were close. Now I want to punch her in the face every time I see her.

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