I'm just super annoyed and ranting and writing this down as a reminder to myself. We have been completely isolated from the everyone due to Covid. The only people we've (me, DH, DD2, and DS5) interacted with are the skids (SD20 and SS17). Normally we don't spend time with them because SD20 is in college and SS17 stays to himself in the basement, but SS had been spending time lately playing video games with DS5 and DH. Just a few days ago I noticed a rash on DS5 that looked like a classic ringworm fungal infection (red circle, clear middle) - there was no doubting it.

I’m a bubbling cauldron of resentment these days.

I’ve been reading my old blog entries, which has been both making me more resentful by bringing up past feelings and making it clear to me that the past just keeps repeating itself in different ways. Things may be better now than before, but my tolerance level for it has gone down. This is really just a long rant for myself to process, read, and remember. So, I'm sorry that it's long and rambling.

I, of course know this, but I kept thinking that once they weren't living in my home that things would get significantly better. That DH wouldn't have to deal with boundary issues because BM wouldn't be able to complain about an adult skid and have DH try to solve her issues. That DH would have more limited communication with BM when dealing with financial issues with the skids. That the skids would deal with their own issues as adults. That I wouldn't have to hear about BM or be involved in dealing with BM and skid issues, because those would no longer be factors that we should deal with.

SS16: I know what it is like to suffer a great loss in my life.

DH just had a few long conversations with SS16. He was using odd metaphors of despair and DH was trying to get him to talk. For background, SS has suicidal ideations, so everyone walks around him with great care. I feel for people with mental health issues, but I'm exhausted and tired of this.