NCMilGal's Blog
SD15 now has a cell phone - here we go...
SD15 has been asking for a cell phone. BM has wasted a LOT of money on SD15 and phones in the last 5 years. Here's what usually happened: BM says, "SD needs a phone!" DH and I say "No she doesn't!" (at ages 10-13) BM gets her one anyway. Around age 13, SD started getting in trouble texting boys. BM lost a lot of money because she put SD on her phone contract, which was wasted once the phone was taken away.
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And on to BM
You know, I wasn't this pissed when I got off the phone with DH...
He had spent another hour+ on the phone with SD15.
In the last couple of weeks:
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Rant about DH
White space so there's no cussing on the front page.
Why, why, WHY the FUCK would you NOT save ALL correspondence from fucking Bobo (BM)??
I just found this out.
DH: "man if I had all of those old emails from when we were arguing about this..."
Me: "What do you mean, don't you save them?
DH: "Nah, I don't save anything."
Is it wrong for me to call my husband a dumbass idiot? I swear, he and BM deserve each other sometimes.
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Should I say something to SD15?
Like most BPD/NPD (in denial) people, BM has huge big shiny red buttons that are easy to push. (deliberately or unintentionally) One of BM's buttons is me. BM has forbidden the word "stepmother" in her house, and just the mention of me can send her into a rage.
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Document, document, document....
After this summer, when we were in a lather about getting custody of SD15, we've pretty much backed off.
The lawyer told us that our chances were slim to fucking none, and the odds were extremely high that BM would be awarded court costs as well. Since that could easily run up to $40k (for both sides) we tried to get BM to show the crazy, either over the phone or in email.
All we got was religious platitudes and a refusal to speak to DH unless her husband was also on the line. So, no proof. Besides, she quit the verbal abuse, and hadn't laid a hand on SD15 for a while.
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It's Driver's Ed time!!
BM just slays me. I'm laughing so hard over here.
As of yesterday, SD15 thought she starting Driver's Ed in school on Wednesday. Today, DH gets an email from BM. BM wants him to, a) pay for half of a commercial Driver's Ed program in her state because "SD15 is too busy with her other activities" or b) put SD15 in a commercial Driver's Ed program in our state - during Thanksgiving Week. Really?
I wrote a fantasy reply and sent it to DH:
So let me see if I've got this straight.
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DH gets it!
We started out communication with BM regarding custody of SD15.
BM finally did something smart - she requested that it be email-only. This allows her to step away and not show her ass with the first thing out of her mouth, and to have it on record that she is "reasonable".
We laid out our VERY GENEROUS proposal (5 months temp tryout, her state keeps jurisdiction, we'd send SD15 to therapy and a religious private school and SHE KEEPS GETTING CS) and she said no with all sorts of bullshit reasons.
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Who are you, and what have you done with BM?
After almost three years on this site, it's pretty obvious that my issues have nothing to do with SD15, and a lot to do with BM and how she treats SD15.
SD15 has been asking DH about living with us for a year now. With the distance involved, there's no real way to force a custody change without BM agreeing or a long drawn-out expensive court battle that we would almost certainly lose.
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Letter to BM - need input
Okay ladies, this one is for real.
SD15 first brought up living with us a year ago. She's gotten progressively more miserable with BM and this summer capped it - despite the stress of moving house, she was more comfortable here than at home. Every time we've talked to her since she got back home, she has asked if we've started the process yet. (We spend 2 hours a week on the phone with her on average)
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Semi-OT - FB Question
Up until now, BM has been adamant that SD15 is not allowed a Facebook account. But now, it seems she may bend, subject to monitoring, which DH and I agree with. Before y'all warn me about FB shenanigans, I already know what drama it can cause.
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