I feel like I'm part of the lyrics of a Brittany Spears song "Oops - I did it again!"

You may be his wife, but you are replacble dear. His children are not replace-able nor are they dispensable......

I stole this comment by SpunkiDoolittle2 from another blog because it's along the lines of something I've actually been thinking about lately.

I don't hate SD, I don't even dislike SD as a person, I just don't love SD or have any special sort of bond with her like I do my own children or even my other immediate or extended family (parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, close cousins, etc.), so that I don't miss SD when she's not around, nor do I have an interest in spending time with her when she is around, and instead I just feel uncomfortable and resentful for feeling forced to have her around when I wouldn't otherwise want her around.

Okay, so those who've read any of my recent blogs and posts should already know by now that I've been trying to separate from H for about the past month. While I've struggled to give H a firm move out date to be considerate of all that entails & how his life will be impacted after (mainly in terms of our co-parenting situation including the financial implications), I can't help but feel like the SD weekends are that much harder for me knowing I don't even want her Dad here, let alone her, and that meanwhile I am still subsidizing all of this (his living here & her visiting.)