Hello all,

As a continuation of the blog I wrote yesterday; below is the letter we sent to social services to be read aloud at their case meeting. We declined to go in person, as we feel whatever we say is ignored...but a letter would have to be read into the offical records.

For the sake of privacy...I have replace the names of the children with the relationship to me and their age. I.e., my biological daughter is BD20.

Everything else I have left as is.

I would like to reiterate...

No abuse of any kind was found or even offically alleged by social services.
No neglect of any kind was found or even officially alleged by social services.
No legal maltreatment of any kind was found or even offically alleged by social services.

All the things that I have listed here carry no real legal complaint with them.

And yet, dispite this...a 12 year old is now living independently of her family...after having put us through 5 years of drama, heartache, stress and a traumatising social services investigation.

After all this...

The lesson she gets to take away is this...

You will alway be given whatever you want, no matter the outrageousness of the demand, everyone must bend...except you.
You can and should, be given anything and everything...and you need do nothing to earn or deserve it.

Thanks for listening to my rants everyone! x

_______________________________________________________________________________________________
To whom it may concern:

We would like to begin by reminding those gathered that we have proven many of SD12’s “claims” or “accusations” to be untrue; including but not limited to the following:

o Accusation: She told school and social services that at home she was ignored and her emotional needs disregarded.
 Vindication: Permission has been given for her medical records to be accessed by social services. These records show our intervention to acquire previous mental health care for her. They show as well, our more recent attempts to engineer additional assistance and then show the rejections we received for said support.

o Accusation: She told school and social services she had no food in her home for lunches.
 Vindication: An inspection of our home by social services and the police showed a more than adequate supply of foodstuffs. None of which were locked away or in any way out of her reach.
• Retraction: She then “admitted” that she “sometimes” threw her lunch away so she could ask for a free lunch from school. (All while giving no explanation as to “why”.)

o Accusation: She told her school and social services that she had issues with her legs, which had “never” been addressed.
 Vindication: Permission has been given for her medical records to be reviewed to show the literally dozens of medical appointments and tests done on her legs and brain…all of which show that there simply is NO problem. This includes GP examinations, including blood-works, made in the last month at the behest of the school, to address SD12’s constant complaints for attention to her phantom “pain”…to which the doctors have all agreed unanimously, there is NO problem.
• Retraction: She then suddenly “remembered” the many tests. And the fact that she knows, but point blank refuses to perform, any of the exercises she was taught to assist her in walking correctly, which all doctors agree unanimously, she is more than capable of doing.

o Accusation: She told school and social services she was “forced” to stay in her room and was “isolated” from everyone.
 Vindication: An inspection by social services and the police of her room showed no lock on the outside of the door to her room. Nor any indication that there ever was one. Also, social services questioning of the parents of her friends, revealed that she visits them regularly and that additional plans to visit them in the near future had already been put into place.
• Retraction: She then admitted that she has never been told she had to stay in her room, that she has never been locked in her room, but that she instead does this voluntarily. She also acknowledged that she spends almost every single weekend socializing with her many friends...at her own requests.

And the list goes on and on…

Conversely, it seems that no matter how many times everything SD12 “claims”, is proven to be undeniably false...or more precisely; that our family is found to be completely honest…social services takes everything she says as if it is based in nothing but fact and truth. They do this all the while maintaining that we are the ones to be mistrusted. This opinion appears to be founded upon nothing at all.

Therefore, we see no reason to continue to willingly participate in any social services processes, including this meeting.

That being said however, we would like to state for the record the following:

• We have raised two other children. Before minds are made up about what sort of parents we are, or the type of home we have made for our family, we ask that ALL of our parental endeavours are known.
o Our oldest, (who lost a parent 6 months after SD16 and SD12 lost theirs) is an extremely well-employed, tax-paying, law-abiding citizen who supports herself independently. She is in a healthy, long-term relationship, as well as maintaining a very close connection to her parents and is especially closely-bonded to her sister SD16.
o Our middle-child, SD16, after receiving an amazing 13 A* GCSE grades, is now pursing an almost unprecedented 6 A-Level studies. SD16 has been recently accepted into, and will be attending, both the Eton Summer School as well as to the Oxford Summer School programs this year.

She will be applying to Oxford next year as an under-graduate, and we have every reason to expect her success in this endeavour. She has a healthy, loving and devoted relationship to both of her parents and is very closely-attached to her older sister BD20.

• The five of us are a family. We come as a single unit.
o No individual is of a higher importance over another. We all share equally priority.
o No one, neither outside nor inside our family, who elects to exclude parts of our whole…will be tolerated.

• In spite of the suggestion of the social services supervisor, We will not be divorcing and splitting our girls into two separate homes…we are extremely offended that the suggestion was made at all and feel that it was unprofessional and highly inappropriate.

• We will not be converting our family’s faith (or to any other religion that SD12 demands) so that SD12 can suddenly begin to celebrate holidays we do not recognize in our home, as was suggested by the social services paid-for-family-therapists…we resent that the proposal was made at all. We also believe that to imply we even contemplate it is faith-based discrimination, not to mention exceedingly improper.

• We will not be altering the expectations for acceptable behaviour in our home, nor will we be altering the rewards or consequences for failing to comply with the simple rules of civility, truth and composure. We take exception to the idea these rules are somehow abusive to those who are asked to follow them and consider that those who put forward a request that these rules be ignored, are just plain wrong.

• We will not be yielding control of our home to any individual or committee. We are the adults, we are the parents. We will make the rules, we will distribute the rewards or reprimands as we see fit. Although we have always welcomed ideas and suggestions from our children…the ultimate responsibility and decisions are ours alone.

• What we will agree to:

o At any time social services advises us that SD12 has chosen to modify HER behaviour, to correspond with the way the rest of our family peaceably interacts with each other:

 We -as a family- will firstly, welcome distant communication, of our choosing, with SD12.

 Upon the successful restoration of our family’s trust in SD12, due to our belief in her improved communications, attitudes and actions, we –as a family- will welcome short and then gradually lengthening visits with SD12.

 If these communications and visits with SD12 show her willingness to conform to the way our family cooperates with each other, she will then be welcomed back into our home.

o Unless and until this time comes; we feel that both SD12, as well as the rest of the members of our family, is perhaps better off living separately for the foreseeable future.

With respect,