Step-Father Strangled My Step-Child
I have a 5 year old Step-Daughter who comes to us on the weekends and in the summer every other week. While with us our daughter told her grandmother that her Step-dad strangled her. She told this story four different times the same way, so it was not like she was just making up any stories. She told our therapist that we have and they reported it Division of family services. There was a full investigation conducted and she told the case worker that her step-father did indeed strangle her,but my step-Daughter retracted her statement, so the the caseworker said there was nothing she could do. Though the continued the investigation, and by the time they made it to the bio moms house for the investigation my SD changed her story entirely and said oh she was mistaken and did not know it, but her step-dad was just playing.We had asked the caseworker do we have to give her back to her biomom the next day, the caseworker said if we did not it could be considered kidnapping because its in the parenting plan that she gets the child back the next day..My step-daughter was very afraid of this man and if you even mentioned the step-dads name at all, even it was not him you were talking about she would throw a fit and scream. She was and is still very afraid of this man...The bio mom denies any of this ever happened to her own child, then tried to turn it around on me by saying that I abuse my step-daughter, and said if we continued with the investigation she would get her taken away from both parents. The investigation continued and the evidence were found inconclusive..We then opened up a second case because we expected sexual abuse this time because there were warts all over her bottom. We got a safe exam done and which looked over my step daughter for any evidence of abuse. The results were yet again found inconclusive and the investigation closed..We know for a fact that this little girl is being abused, she is neglected as well...She spends no time with her mom at all, when her dad calls her every night she is at her grandmothers on her moms side...We have fought twice for her in the court system but have not gained anymore custody of her. The court system has failed us twice and so has Division of family services..We know she is being abused and neglected and the therapist even agrees that we are the better home for her, but no one will do anything..we are at a lost! We just want to protect our little girl! What do we do?
Genital warts are indicative
Genital warts are indicative of child abuse. I would press this point with DCFS. In the meantime I would definitely get some kind of surveillance device the girl can bring with her unknowingly. This way you can at least confirm if this is happening and who the perp is. Pray that this little girl is delivered. God can do what we can't.
Get a lawyer. I repeat, GET A
Get a lawyer. I repeat, GET A LAWYER. There are hundreds of child advocacy attorneys. If this is happening, it will only get worse. I beg you to look into retaining an attorney, heaven forbid this little girl end up dead.
Something isn't right here.
Something isn't right here. I find it hard to believe that a doctor (a mandated reporter) and ACS worker saw genital warts and didn't act.
Even if they couldn't place the blame on SF, that child would have been pulled from BOTH homes because it's clear that someone is abusing her.
There's something fishy about this story.
Agreed. Something isn't
Agreed. Something isn't adding up.
I would say that it's not just the behavior of the mandated reporters that is troubling me. The behavior of all involved doesn't mesh with the story.
Were they actual warts, or
Were they actual warts, or boils due to poor sanitary habits?
she didn't say genital wart
she didn't say genital wart
But she did say they
But she did say they suspected sexual abuse. And she said the child had warts. So of course we're thinking genital warts.
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The warts are on the bottom
The warts are on the bottom and the child advocacy center said they were not around the anus, so they could not be considered genital warts and in turn nothing they could do..We are going to try and hire a lawyer again coming up here soon we are just afraid the same thing is going to happen again as the last time. The bio mom and her family are lairs and have turned everything around on the dad to make him look like he is the bad party..The last case they paid off a therapist to testify for them...I know they story sounds very fishy! But that is what I am saying we have had a open investigation done twice and each time there was not enough evidence! We took her to several doctors about the warts and what it is called is molluscum contagiosum. Her primary doctor told us they were normal in kids and she sees them many times, but one doctor we took her to said it was a sign of sexual abuse, but when we took her to the safe exam they said its only considered sexual abuse if its around the anus....
It sounds like you and dad
It sounds like you and dad are doctor shopping in order to find one who will say what you want to hear. Several doctors; including the child's own doctor; told you this isn't sexual.
You're playing with fire. Sooner or later, that mom will come after you.
The first doctor said it
The first doctor said it could be sexual abuse, second one we took her to said nothing really just gave us some medicine, which did not help. At this point the investigation had started, so we took her to the SAFE exam. Evidence was found of no abuse, we took her to her primary doctor which was recommenced as a follow up and the medicine did not work for the warts either...That is when she told us that the warts are common in kids her age and she sees them all the time. That did make us feel better yes...but I am still so worried about her...I worry every single day and I know her father does as well...I mean we talk about it all the time and I feel so helpless!
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Agreed. I said it nicer
Agreed. I said it nicer though
Andromeda, I can tell you
Andromeda,
I can tell you that these types of warts are contagious and are often spread in schools and daycare centers. The girl could have easily infected herself.
To review what you have said so far:
You have no supporting evidence other than a wart on her bottom. DFC investigated and found no evidence of abuse. The two doctors you mentioned here have conflicting opinions. The child advocacy said they are not sexually transmitted.
You took the child in for an SMART exam that showed no evidence of abuse. You've launched 2 separate DFC investigations. You took her to see your family therapist, my guess is you didn't tell BM or get her consent.
Your T would be booted for being biased.
Having seen more that one doctor regarding this wart, the case could be made that you're diagnosis shopping.
You have suspicion, you have no evidence. That where the problem lies. The other parents argument is more compelling than yours. If you proceed with this it could very well end up very badly for both you and your husband.
Before you go forward I suggest looking hard at both sides of the argument. You could be right and still lose with what you have right now.
I'm not. There's problems
I'm not.
There's problems with that story as well.
Once the child was out of the hands of SM and Dad, her story changed. She could be parroting the story to make Dad and SM happy.
The child's display (antics) could be her desire to please SM and Dad.
Abused children usually act the complete opposite of what she says here.
Transition issues on departure are usually caused by the parent they are leaving, not the one they are going to.
And ...
Then you have the conflicting issue that SM says the child is actually residing at grandma's. How does that fit?