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Last-Wife's Blog

Snowed in...again

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I'm bored. I'm sick of looking at these same people. I'd rather go back to school and clean up after my students than to clean up after these people one more time!

But at least I have been able to keep up on ST and FB... LOL

Great. We're communicating again...

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... and they're driving me crazy.

Loghead was supposed to sit down with Princess17 WEEKS ago and begin working on college applications and FAFSA stuff. I found out just a few days ago that her top choice school needs the FAFSA and a health form completed by FEb. 15 for their deadline. Since then, I have said to them both daily that they need to do it. The 15th is President's Day- a federal holiday. If we're going to get it out in time, they need to mail by Thursday. Luckily, she was able to get to the clinic in town today for the TB test the health form required.

Having fun- names!

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So I'm coming close to my one year anniversary on Steptalk. I have been very active since October. I confessed to DH on Saturday about my involvement here and he said if it makes me feel better, great. I'm okay with that, I just don't want him to see my posts.

I've been thinking about nicknames for my posts, ages and the whole initials things get confusing- even to me, and I live with them. Now, I don't think anyone like rushes out to read things I post, so this is mainly for me. And I've been having fun.

Tell it like it is meeting with SD17

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We're all snowed in together again today. Everything fine until DH says "Why can't you get happy!?"

I think he meant for it to be private, between the two of us, but SS14 entered the kitchen from the living room, and SD17 entered from her bedroom at the same moment he said it. SS14 had the brains to turn around and leave, but SD17 chimed in, "yeah, he's right. You're grumpy all the time. No one likes that."

A shared laugh- OT

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To begin to mend hurt feelings, I asked DH to watch the Hallmark movie with me last night. The card commercials made us cry, as did the movie, but we had a shared laugh. (Oh yeah, SD17 stayed and watched the movie with us too, which was nice.) In the movie, the main character and his father aren't close because the dad always seemed embarassed by his kid's disability. Now a grown man, the main character has brought his new girlfriend over to meet dad and stepmom.

Baby steps

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I'd set two options in my mind: he talk to me or I leave. At 3:45pm, I told DH he had one hour to meet with me. He shrugged his shoulders and walked out the room. At 4:40, he came in with his head low, and said he didn't want to talk about it. "I just want you to forget it; I didn't mean it."

DH still avoiding me...

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I told him when he woke up today that we needed to talk about his "you and BS should move out" statement. He looked at me like he had no clue what I was talking about. He's done a million other things today to keep from having to talk to me.

I can't decide if that's making me more angry or more sad...

DH avoided me all night...

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DH made dinner; skids cleaned the house; we all sat to watch some TV together, but DH wouldn't talk to me. I finally asked him if he wanted to talk or if he was going to avoid me. "Oh, I want to talk, I'll come into the room in a few minutes later."

He came in to snuggle me, which I wanted nothing of. As I said earlier, no sharing beds with people who want me to move out... BS8 is still recovering from strep, and DH went to settle him in bed, saying he would be back soon. I waited so long, I fell asleep.

I'm home. DH wants to talk...

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Snow and ice caused school to get out early. Out of respect and safety, I called DH to tell him I would be home early. "I want you to know I really love you," he said. I was in a crowded hallway of kids who had just found out school was dismissing, so I told him I couldn't talk.

When I got home, he reached out to hug me. I let him. But hugs and sorry don't fix me that easy. I am hurt. I took a bubble bath and a nap. Know I'm ready to face him and see what he has to say for himself today...

What's next? Needing advice and suggestions

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Last night, DH told me he thought our son and myself should leave. He sees me as the problem- not his lack of parenting.

After a night on the couch, I woke up to find the snow storm was not keeping me home from work. I do my best thinking in the shower. I have decided I need a break of some sort. I am waiting for my sister in law to call back and let me know if the bunk house on their ranch is available. If he wants me gone, why wait till summer?

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