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DH avoided me all night...

Last-Wife's picture

Submitted by Last-Wife on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 8:45am

DH made dinner; skids cleaned the house; we all sat to watch some TV together, but DH wouldn't talk to me. I finally asked him if he wanted to talk or if he was going to avoid me. "Oh, I want to talk, I'll come into the room in a few minutes later."

He came in to snuggle me, which I wanted nothing of. As I said earlier, no sharing beds with people who want me to move out... BS8 is still recovering from strep, and DH went to settle him in bed, saying he would be back soon. I waited so long, I fell asleep.

So he can toss out these big words, that maybe BS and I should leave this summer, and now he's too chicken to talk to me?

The thing is, after reading everyone's advice yesterday, I think I can put him on "probation" with the idea threats of leaving are not okay and there are certain issues that MUST be fixed, but at the same time, my anger and hurt grows at the thought it didn't mean enough to him to TALK like an adult about his feelings. There's a difference between acting like a man, and acting like an adult. And this needs to be an adult conversation.

I have half a mind to go and shove him out of the bed to wake his sorry butt up and get it over with...

Comments

folkmom's picture

Submitted by folkmom on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 8:48am

WHY do these men thingk SNUGGLING equals talking???? WHY? I mean I realize most men are verbally incompentant...but really, you think spooning will just MAGICALLY erase everything you said?

mine does this. it pisses me off royally.

stepmom2one's picture

Submitted by stepmom2one on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 9:48am

my DH does the same thing. The next day I ask him if we can talk now. He says "well you didn't push my arm away so I thought you were over it" oookkkk well I pushed your arm away and you just put it back over me so I just let you then.....

Or he thinks that the "I tried" was through a "i'm sorry" snuggle. And in some twisted way he is thinking to himself that this is now your fault for not wanting to make up.

I know it makes no sense but this is what my DH thinks lol

folkmom's picture

Submitted by folkmom on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 8:50am

oh btw, if he is like mine..he says crap in the heat of the moment and you "are so supposed to know" that he does not mean it. it is just "all is fair in war" and they reach for the most hurtful thing they could say.

now, imagine if everytime you fought you criticised his sexual prowess. ask him how that would make him feel. would he get over it with some snuggling?

stepmom2one's picture

Submitted by stepmom2one on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 9:48am

lol

folkmom's picture

Submitted by folkmom on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 9:23am

my therapist says it is universal to men. they just have no concept of how to communicate effectively in apology and for them "getting close" is a vulnerable way to show they are wrong. i feel like men contrived this somehow.

folkmom's picture

Submitted by folkmom on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 9:42am

he is at work here. so i am cleaning up a storm. which actually will be a clear sign to him that i am pissed out the wazoo. i hate to clean. hate it. in fact i purposely stink at it so he has to do it. if he comes home to a sparkling house he is going to know i am super pissed. and then i can say "well, i wanted it to be left clean when i move out asshole."