Well...I don't even know WHERE to begin. So I think I will do this in chronological order so that hopefully it will all be straight.

FRIDAY -
I get home from work a little after 5PM. DH and SD are already there. SD has gone through her things again and has AGREED to let go of 2 large items (My First Dollhouse and the kitchen) and several miscellaneous small items. I tell DH and SD that I cancelled the bed order, BUT will order again once the items have actually LEFT the house. SD became upset that I cancelled her bed order and threw yet another tantrum, albeit less violent than the last, but still very loud. I pushed DH out of the room, walked out on her and shut the door. I told her that when she finishes, she may come out and if she continues the tantrum outside her room, she will lose every toy she has AND will not get a new bed. SD7 immediately became quiett, which bothered me, A LOT. So I opened the door a crack and SD was just sitting in the middle of her room.
I walked away, DH walked away and we sat in the living room waiting for her. SD doesn't come out. DH, being the guilty daddy he is, immediately runs to the rescue. I didn't move until he said "Holy Sh!t". SD has not only pooped her pants (she always does this and has been required to wear Pull ups until she can get a handle on herself, the therapist says SD uses it as a way to get attention, because that is how her baby brother gets attention), but she has removed her pull up and thrown it on the ground. :sick: I told DH to clean it up, clean HER up, and take her back to BM's, she was done at our house for today (she still had 2 hours of visitation left). DH did as I asked. I am still pissed even now, that little BRAT has decided to use fecal matter as revenge. NOT IN MY HOUSE.

SATURDAY -
I, for some reason, agreed to let SD7 come back Saturday for the 2 hours she left early. I had some new rules, that I had already spoken to DH about, to implement. Since SD wanted to act like a baby, she would be treated as one. Although DH wasn't happy about it, he relented anyway saying 'it MIGHT work'. We sat SD down and explained these new rules to her.
1) No more soda. Milk, juice and water only. (She would get a soda from time to time).
2) No more 'big girl' cups. She will be drinking from baby bottles. (At this she became very upset and threw another tantrum, throwing herself on the ground and screaming. We left until she finished).
3) Nap times. She will be required to take a 30-45 minute nap during each visitation.
4) No more big girl panties or Pull Ups. She will be wearing diapers.
5) All board games and toys with small pieces (Barbies, Littlest Pet Shop, etc) will be locked away.
6) No more InnoTab (IPad for kids).
There was more, but those are the biggest ones. We explained that if she wants to ACT like a baby, she will literally be treated like one. And until we see improvement, these will be the rules. She will have to 'upgrade' as a baby would (ex. bottle to sippy cup to big girl cup). BUT! Daddy and I will NOT be changing the diapers or any messes. She will have to do that HERSELF. If she wants to go potty in her pants, she will have to wear diapers so it no longer 'leaks' onto the furniture, carpet, etc. She will clean up these messes herself.
She threw about 2-3 more tantrums each time a rule was enacted, in which we left the room.
By the end of the visitation, I already saw a bit of improvement. She had not pooped or peed her pants (a miracle in itself), she had not dumped her drink on the floor (happens every visitation) and after her 15 minute 'nap' (more like quiet time. we shortened it since she was only there 2 hours) she seemed 'happier'. When DH took her home, he also took her chosen toys to the consignment store and let her hand them over. I went ahead and reordered the bed.
(Btw, BM was fully aware of these rule changes and was ok with them)

SUNDAY-
SD came over again at noon. Immediately she put on her diaper, got a bottle of juice and sat in her beanbag chair watching The Last Unicorn. She got up to go to the bathroom when she needed to and asked for more juice instead of getting it herself and dumping half the container. By about 3, I thought everything was going great. I was so dreadfully wrong. SD had not gone into her room yet that day. When she did, omg, you'd think she was being eaten by dingos. She went to her room to get her stuffed bear, a few minutes later she is screaming, yelling, writhing on the floor, pounding her fists, kicking, calling me names, telling DH to 'get rid of me' and tipping things over. She wanted to know where her kitchen and dollhouse went. DH explained to her that she had chosen to sell these items and that they (DH and SD) had taken them to the consignment store TOGETHER. SD said she wanted them back...NOW. DH said no, they were already gone and that she would not be getting them back. SD proceeded to scream and yell at him and me, then chucked her bottle at DH, hitting him in the head and getting juice everywhere. I think this is when DH had it. He took all of her toys (left only a few books) and put them in garbage bags in our shed. He told SD she wouldn't be getting them back for a LOOONNNGG time and that she was 'grounded'. He also went into a speech about how she will NOT treat me the way she has any longer and if he ever catches her using any of the foul language she's used against me before, she will never see another toy again. DH advised SD that if she wanted to continue coming over to our home and seeing him, she will need to 'grow up' and stop throwing all these tantrums. Dh went on a tyrade for about 30 minutes and everytime SD would try to pull the 'poor me' or 'daddy coddle me' routine, he told her to knock it off and would step away from her. In the end, she spent the majority of the time just sitting in her beanbag chair pouting and crying. After DH took her home, he asked me to help make up a list of things SD can do to earn her stuff back. Most of it is small chores (help with laundry, dishes, clean up after she is done eating) and each chore has a toy size reward. She has to do these chores without being asked more than once and without having to 'redo' them. DH is going to allow her to have her big girl cups back (just because he doesn't want to get whacked by Gerber again) but she will still be wearing diapers and taking naps.

I can honestly say I am sooooo proud of DH. I am just hoping he continues to help enforce the rules and correct her behavior. I am sure his Guilty Goggles will come out again. I am just so proud of how he handled it this time. I know our rules seem harsh, but it seemed this was all we could do to try to 'correct' her behavior. Hopefully it will help!