Oh my lord. I know my sister was a very permissive parent overall, countered by her jerk of an abusive ex (a little but that whole thing is a mess in itself) until the divorce over a year ago.

My sister (Sis), my niece (N18, almost 19), and Boyfriend (B20) all came to visit us over the weekend of the 4th, stayed with us and we all pretty much were together the whole time, unlike when we visit them, and people come/go.

* N18 has gained a significant amount of weight - she used to be sporty and active. It was quite shocking to see.

BM finally flew her true colors today.

As we know she recently told DH that OSD was accepted to a college but with zero details other than the name. Then told him he's welcome to contribute but that she understood if he didn't because OSD won't speak with him.

Taking this for a kind word, DH responded and asked what her financial package was, when she started and regarding graduation, could he have some details, and that he was planning a grad gift if she had any suggestions. 

Apparently it went well. DH was pleased at his whole day.

He got to relax and see some friends before the event too.

He didn't approach or talk to anyone, didn't see YSD16 at all since she was behind the set. OSD18 did see him clearly but didn't react. Which is very good. In the past she would run away or hightail it in another direction. He was feeling good about it.

He also contacted the PAS counselor for himself so hopefully he'll have an appointment soon. His regular counselor also told him to do it.

So DH has been all moody and unpredictable again. Making a mess everywhere. He didn't even cook dinner for two nights in a row - and NO I did NOT help, everyone just fixed what they wanted when they got hungry. Of course YSD16s stuff is also piliing up in the kitchen. She tends to wash / put away about 50% of the dishes she uses but the rest, if she thinks it's too much of a bother (I am certain of this) she just leaves in the sink. I touched NOTHING.