We knew that OSD18 had accepted a college offer weeks ago but not a peep from BM or OSD about it of course, and previous to that no clue where she even applied. YSD16 told me the other day where she's going, to a very very $$ private school in the mid-west and leaves mid-August.  This school, with all student costs, is around $80K per YEAR.

BM sent DH an email as well. Letting him know where OSD was going, but not when. She also wrote that OSD got a nice financial support package as well (don't know if it's a scholarship or financial reduction or what) but if DH wants to contribute he can. But that BM understands if he doesn't because OSD still refuses to talk with him.

I saw the email as BM actually understanding DH's situation, but also, GIVE DH SOME DETAILS BM. How much is still due to the school? Is it a scholarship or financial aid? Where does he send the support? When does she leave? When does school start? How can he just randomly send $? No.  DH is a firm no on that.

Her graduation is also coming up, it's in a smaller venue than expected, but DH has no tickets of course. He's not going to even try go. He's considering sending some graduation money. We discussed that a little, and he seems to be ok with it. I pushed for a cash only option; she's not used gift cards/certs he's sent to her the last several years and I think some actual gifts were not used either. And he should not expect anything in return, no thank you or anything. So he's contemplating the amount now.

I again suggested he talk with the PAS therapist - he's had several emails with her but keeps flaking on actually making an appointment. He was so upset last night, all of this brings it all up for him again, that I told him to not discuss it any longer with me that night and to contact the therapist because I cannot help resolve it.