YSDs stay
Summary....
She's almost 19, acts like a 10 yo still. Didn't bathe till this morning, wash her face or brush her teeth. I know this because the towels I left for her were untouched until this morning. The day she leaves. I told DH the reason her hair looked so dark is because it was so dirty.
She gave DH a pack of dried seaweed that he likes for his gift (suspect it was from BMs cupboard). I got nothing. She gave us a house gift of two trivets she made in high school. Which is ok but obviously out of convenience.
She's leaving in about 1.5 hours, only now came out of her room at 1:45. DH asked her if she was hungry. she was, but "Didn't know what there was to eat." We have PLENTY. She ate an apple. She continues to talk in this awful, soft, slurry voice and is difficult to understand. Even DH has had to ask her to repeat herself.
DH is about done, is a bit angry, and is going to talk with her soon, on the way to drop her off, and try to arrange to see her again (she's in the area for another several weeks). I've hardly had a conversation with her, it's impossible since she hardly responds. I caught her looking daggers at me at one point, who knows why.
Also found out DH was going to give estranged OSD21 an expensive gift, but he changed his mind and will return it. GOOD FOR HIM. I supported him in that decision once he told me. He's sending a MUCH less expensive one instead. Whew. And YAY for him realizing it wasn't a good decision.
Next year we're going away alone for sure!
I was going to abstain from alcohol tonight after the gym, but nope, I'm going to open a good bottle of wine to celebrate alone time again. I think DH will join me.
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Comments
No time to be a hero
The Holidays are no time to be a hero and abstain from alcohol- you drink that wine!
I am extremely jealous of your SD leaving. We aren't even close to SS18 leaving and I am dreading every minute.
I did cringe at your DH buying his estranged daughter who can't even return his messages an expensive gift. Very glad to hear he exchanged it, but she doesn't seem to deserve anything. I guess it's better than the expensive gift.
I would give anything to go away and not have a skid Christmas.
The hate stare
Saw it with Chef's ferals often. She sounds like a weirdo school shooter. I wouldn't be anywhere near her alone. DH sounds like he still has a loooong way to go. Giving estranged OSD a fancy, expensive gift??!! He shouldn't even be thinking in that direction.
At least you talked him out of it but I get the strong feeling that he never would have second guessed this giant faux pas had you not been there to convince him. He's still child chasing all of his ferals.
Enjoy your wine and quiet time.
TT, you've written: She
TT, you've written: She sounds like a weirdo school shooter. I've always suspected that Cover's SD is on the autistic spectrum, Asperger's perhaps? She is such an odd girl, in so many ways.
Totally not a school shooter
Totally not a school shooter whatsoever. I think she's autistic 100% at some level.
Ah, but I didn't have to talk
Ah, but I didn't have to talk him out of it. I didn't even know! He bought it, didn't tell me, then let me know that he had bought it and decided it was NOT a good idea. All on his own! He's never done anything like this before and tends to go over the top. He is sending her a reasonable gift (that is totally ok IMHO) and even was very modest with YSDs gifts. He did good this year!
And I don't think he's chasing any longer. He's giving them options, they don't take them, fine. Usually he'd be begging YSD to stay longer or to meet up with him more. He's not. He's completely doing the more disengaged route (it's been great!) and not expecting any good responses or follow ups. His new counselor (and our couple counselor) has been so good at helping him understand his expectations!
We have gone away for
We have gone away for holidays many times, and it is something I highly recommend. Occasionally, we've invited a person or two from my family to join us.
Good short visits.
Best thing are short visits ...and knowing SD is not In your Gene pool. SD is just another dysfunctional SK. and DH problem. Giving expensive gifts with out asking you first is not a way a marrage should work
Eh, we have separate finances
Eh, we have separate finances so it's always been on him to do that. Not my financial issue.
The Holidays are no time to
The Holidays are no time to be a hero and abstain from alcohol- you drink that wine. I second that. I know its the not the most healthy way to cope but,.,lets be real. I feel like I would lose it if I hadnt had just a little bit of liquid courage going to MIL's. This goes for other times thats outside the holidays just since it has to involve dealing with SD or hearing about her in some way. I know its not fair or very nice, but I do not care. A little something to take the edge of isnt always the worst idea.
I am also in favor of anyone who uses Christtmas to take trips to get way for a change of scene ( and to dodge the skids) I am also already seriously thinking of pursuing travel for the holidays just for that reason, once MIL and my parents arent around. NOT something I want to happen for a long time, or never wish to happen. Or i I end up alone, more specifically, should I outlive DH. once again things that I am not actively wishing for and this is not meaning to be morbid. Just already starting to keep my options open so that I can still avoid having to resort to having SD or her clan taking the liberty to intrude on my time and holidays as if its a favor. I feel like it will really be expected then if I do in fact end up without DH so it will be assumed that I will have nothing else to do. I still plan on making myself scarce and unavailable if at all possible. Meanwhile. I honestly can say that I would rather be alone than deal with her and all I want is that sense of freedom to continue. So , yes , in that sense I can understand and consider holiday travel or keep on with my own traditons, even if it means new ones..., just to get out of town or even away from the house. if it means avoiding her.
Odd girl
She's different. Leaving soon, good.