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The Jerry Springer Show-episode 2

Heyyou's picture

The jerry springer show episode one was hard enough, He told his mother to get out she wouldn't leave so he threw her out the door, His sister was told to never come here again, sd one was blocked and deleted from his life, sd one's children were never meet by him, and sd two wouldn't answer texts, calls, and she totally blocked him from her life. Why did he do all this? I left him and then the above happened 

Things were great for a while when I came back, I should have known it wouldn't be for long. Sd two was always snotty, condescending, better than everyone else, smarter than everyone else, and smug attitude. She called out of the blue one evening and wanted him to come get her. I was like you ignored your dad for years now you want to come to see him? 

Should have seen the look on the SD  user's face when she realized dear Daddy didn't live in a run-down apartment anymore, dear Daddy had a nice vehicle, dear Daddy had lots of food in the cupboards, and step witch would have her own room here. 

Sd  ,,stepfather lost his job months ago and they lost everything, The big fancy house, the car that drove her ass all over the place, the never-ending cupboards filled with never-ending junk food, having her own room, and take-out all the time, Now they were living in a small two bedroom dump apartment, she shared a small room with her step-sister, a broken down old car they rarely had gas to put in it or was broken, no internet, no cable, and hardly any groceries. she said her stepfather was mentally abusing her ( I heard the same crock of bs from the first sd all because she didn't want to follow house rules and she wasn't allowed to rule the roost ) How snotty sd is it must have been hard for her since she stuck up her nose at her father and he was always beneath her 

My life is right back where it was before because she hasn't left since that night months ago. I told him it wasn't a good idea for her to live with us he said she wouldn't be but, she hasn't been home in months. I'm back to square one he fills the cupboards with never-ending junk food, all meals are made and catered in her bedroom, her ass is driven all over the place, internet, cable tv in her room, buying games etc, new clothes, and she never comes out of the room unless she wants something. 

The kid is a grandmaster at disengaging from me. She knows this is my house and the car is my car, I love it when she comes into the living room totally ignores me, and tells her dad with her back turned to me drive me  here, pick friends up there, and take us here, the idiot jumps when she demands, The entire time he is burning my gas to do so and he hardly puts gas in the car because he can't afford it 

Its been a big fight to get her to bring dishes out of her room and yes, the idiot man caters to all meals in her room, Im standing at the sink cleaning up and asking her oh you must have liked your supper I love seeing clean plates. The snot witch looks at me and says it's not restaurant quality I was hungry so I ate it or it didn't agree with my palate,, 

everywhere we go now she wants to go because she knows she will be getting something, i hate having her sit in the back of the car and ignore just me. I get so mad when she hears me say anything as she loves to call out from the back seat and correct me,, I asked him if he likes pecan pie she rudely calls out from the back seat pecan isn't the right way to say it and she corrects me all the time talks to me like I'm stupid ... he says nothing to her and pretends it didn't happen. 

she has gone as far as introducing me to her friends as the person who cleans and cooks for her and her dad, I'm tired of being treated like I'm beneath her and constantly told I am wrong all the time, I'm tired of the snotty looks from her and her intimidating stares. 

How do I disengage when she goes to him and not me, She's using me, not him. If I say no you aren't driving her burning my gas then we will be in a huge fight and she still gets her way if I refuse to pay for all the treats and food she likes he will fight with me, and she is going on 18 and failing all her classes to lazy to get a job and she can't even turn on the stove shes totally useless and I know she is going to be a failure to launch 

I can't just pack my bags and leave because this is my house and I am not leaving it to his little witch and living in a room at my family's house because he won't take her and leave he will fight to be tooth and nail to stay here I can't call her out because we get into a big fight and she just goes in the room grinning .. do I ruin my credit let them take the house and car and the bank can evict them?

Thank you if you read this far any input to an exit plan or way out of this sheet show is welcomed 

 

Harry's picture

He not parenting his  kid. He letting SD disrespect you.  You tell DH to make SD respect you or both of them can get out. He the one that first much change. 

AgedOut's picture

if it's all your's: apartment, car, inccome .... kick them both out. you deserve respect and you are not getting it. don't pay them w/ rewards just so that they can crap all over you. 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

When you last posted this was something you were meaning to do?  Did you get a consultation with a lawyer?  Lots will do an initial conversation for free.

You might not have cash in hand but you have two saleable assets - car and house.  

You need to find a way to get away from these two idiots

Heyyou's picture

I know, i need to find a way to get them out but, he will fight me tooth and nail because by law I am not able to just throw him out. I need to save money for a lawyer and get my life back i wish i could get an exit plan in order ...I've been on vacation for two weeks and I refused to go away and have to be stuck with Karen on Steroids in my face all the time. I have been cleaning getting rid of junk, doing a folder with all deeds bills etc, and cleaning the garage for someday he can take his junk and leave  ...

My best buddy at work told me she make it so tough here for the little witch and take her alpha female title from her. sorry about the typos im on my cell phone. how can I do that when Daddy would just come running to her rescue and call me out in front of her? Then I have to watch the smug look on her face,, I won and ill continue using you with daddy's blessings, of course,,, ugh!

My friend said when Daddy is away shut down the internet she lives on in her room, dump salt on all her meals, 

Winterglow's picture

Start by not filling your tank. Only put in as much gas as you need that day. Yes, it's a pain.

Why do you haave to pay for her snacks, etc? Call him out on that. If his precious princess wants special stuff, either she can buy it or he can. She is not your responsibilty.

I sure hope you have separate finances.

Get your husband alone and explain that all memebers of the household are expected to help maintain the home, that is, she does chores too. There is no reason for her not to. Besides, learning to care for a home is something of great use to all people and it will save her from getting bored in her room.

Finally, ask him why he doesn't love her enough to want to teach her how to be a competent, independent, decent human being. After all, that is his role as a parent, isn't it? How will she ever get a job and earn money? Does he  intend to keep her dependent on him ALL his life? And then what happens when he dies? 

It kind looks like he just wants you around for money and sex because he's getting all the rest of his needs met by his daughter ...

 

Winterglow's picture

A while back someone asked for ways of making her SD feel uncomfortable/unwelcome in her home with the intention of encouraging her to find her own place ASAP. There was quite a list of creative suggestions posted in response. Does anyone remember this post and can anyone give us a link?

Winterglow's picture

Thank you! 

Please read the above, OP. There are some really brilliant suggestions. None of them will work individually, but used together they will drip-drip-drip away at any inclination to live in your home Smile

 

Harry's picture

You must give them a 30 day notice.  Giving them 30 days to leave.  Then you will have to get a eviction notice.  Saying if not out by X date they will be arrested for trespassing.  It's not that hard.  You are going to have to deal with SO knowing you want him out. For 30, 60:or 90 days.   He will have to go to court. Telling the judge, that he such a loser, he can't move out and live on his own dime   But in end he will be out 

Heyyou's picture

The last time I told him to take her and get out I had to call the police because he was following me around the house and getting in my face, I literally went from room to room and told him to leave me alone but, he won't back down. Very hurtful comments like you remind me of my fat slob ex-wife, on and on he went. he threw a glass bowl and it smashed on the floor near me, The police came and told me we are common law and they can not remove him and I need a lawyer, I am in Canada it's different here. lawyer? really I can't even afford a coffee, sir ugh!

When I get a plan in place karma will bite him in the ass because his mini-wife will head back to her mother's, it's clear she's only here because she gets her old lifestyle back since Mama can't provide her with it. I'm so resentful because the little witch is using me not him .. he has no credit and couldn't even afford a one-bedroom apartment on his own, the using little witch will go where she gets the most she truly is a using little Narc, and has thinks shes special. I could put my foot down but would have to put up with him and work from home all night, too. I just cant deal with the mental drain and listening to him shoot his mouth off about what a terrible person I am for picking on a child. She will be 18 in a few months sorry she isn't a child, 

the kid is failing in school, emails are being sent home about her snotty belittling attitude towards the teachers, and She cannot even cook herself a box of Kraft dinner don't know who hire the useless tit she just stands there and expects to be paid for showing up because she's just that great ,,, only in her and his mind shes a useless tit :( 

 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Threatening you physically, etc.

Can you go to Citizens advice?  Or seek help from a charity specialising in domestic abuse?  Both options may help you.

Survivingstephell's picture

I can't believe he got away with this?!!  Domestic abuse is tolerated in Canada??  

Heyyou's picture

I really appreciate all the awesome advice, thank you, I guess, just because you aren't being hit doesn't mean it isn't abuse 

Merrigan's picture

Throwing glass bowls around is abusive. Call the police and have him removed. Press charges the next time he's violent towards you. You're spot on - you don't have to be hit to be abused. 

Survivingstephell's picture

2 that I know of.  Pee-can.  Pi-con.   I got corrected by my Oklahoman stepdad when he moved north.  LOL. 

Rags's picture

rekey the locks, report hte car stolen. Let them starve and rot at the local homeless camp.

Never again interface with them.  

Make sure you immediatley file an RO/PO keeping them far from you.

As for how to pronounce pecan.  Pee-Can is one way. Though that makes my jaw hurt every time I hear it.  Peck-on is another way I have hear it pronounced and how I pronounce it.  Generally, I really could not care less. If a disrespecful kid pulled that shit with me, I would stard nailing them all kinds of observations on how stupid they are see how they like it when they are constantly publically humiliated in front of their bio parent or anyone else.  Never forget, experience and treachery will dominate youth and inexperience any time.

Get an attorney, and start eviction action against them if you want to go a more measured route.

I would do both.

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

I too live in my own version of Jerry Springer (RIP btw) show with a sprinkle of Maury (questionable paternity for one of the kids but nothing is done to find out the truth). I would go as far as call it the nightmare from hell with 5 demons and 1 heathen. There is not much you can do except try to evict them which will cost you thousands in court fees. You are stuck unless you sell your portion to him and move out. Life is tough enough and your husband probably thought you would support his family when he first met you. You soon learned and now you know. 

This wont end well if you cannot settle it through real estate

Heyyou's picture

Rags, honest to god, this kid is Calm and composed, self-possessed, and will get in your face, and stare at you in an intimidating way. she will look at you like you are dirt beneath her entitled feet. She reminds me of shows I've seen mean girls. hate to say it but she's a master at it and she knows how to yank your chain. if I were to do this to her old Daddy would rip me a new one,

The kid has her game plan down pat. It didn't work with her stepdad. i can say bm at least didn't prioritise her over her husband. What did the little evil witch do? She went to school and told the counselor she was being mentally and verbally abused by her stepdad, In her mind mental abuse was him not talking her crap and calling her out on it. So she went that route to get rid of him. OH YES, CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES was making house calls regularly. That didn't work so now the bm has washed her hands from her. That's why she's here, of course, dear old daddy s falling for her game ugh, working on an exit plan the best I can. Oh, I can give it but if he ever heard me he would call me out in front of her and rip me a new one. that would only make her more drunk with the power to run this house Sad   

Rags's picture

Web cameras, zero tolerance.

Based on what unfolds, go after an RO/PO and keep her the hell away from  you and your home.

If DH backs her, add him to the RO/PO and go after damages in the divorce.  FInd a pit bull of a lawyer and go for their throats.

Take care of you.

 

 

AgedOut's picture

I'm sure you probably already answered this but: are your finances combined w/ his? share bank accts.? if yes, time to put your $$$ in your own acct. he cannot access. also get a p/o box for your mail so that he has no idea what your accts balances are and either rent a storage space or pay a friend/family member you can trust so you have somewhere to start putting your treasured/important items. Stop buying for the house, don't fill the gas tank to the top, put gas in as you need it, let him start paying for gas he uses. And get a fireproof box or a bank box and relocate all of your personal and important papers/documents. 

play it for the end game, him and his sponges out of your life. 

CLove's picture

Look into building a network of people that we call "a tribe".

Read and research! Reedle is our success story. She had a male-mini wife adult SS and catering coddling verbally (and physically) abusive husband. She got the "h" out of there. And is a happier camper and still contributing and helping.

Finances and documentation - separate for sure. Get all you paperwork together and stored somewhere else

Documentation via video - you can do this in many different ways. You can document via phone or nanny cams.

Find out if legal advice is available and if you qualify through abused spouse. You arent married, but you said you are common law. Time to research all that too. Become a common-law and divorce expert.

And I mean this in the best way possible. You dont have a SD issue, or a MIL issue, or a SIL issue. Youve written a TON about THEM. You have a PARTNER issue. HE IS YOUR PROBLEM. Everything else goes away with him. Imagine a better life. I know you are preparing for this and getting things in order. Vent as much as you need to, about all the different actors in this drama, but please know that you are not alone and you CAN do this and you WILL be so much happier.