We can't win for losing.
Today was the court date for Infuriating BM's motion to reduce DH's parenting time from 4 of every 14 days to 2 of every 14 days. It was just an introductory hearing, a Guardian Ad Litem was assigned, and a hearing date set for the end of June, because she's deploying in July
It was a farce, as always. BM's trashy-looking attorney, who appears to be a helluva advocate for her, for some reason, spewed half truths and our attorney didn't say much to straighten out the truth. We got the same terrible GAL that we had the last time, and after that was done, our attorney let us know that BM's attorney is threatening to file a show cause because DH hasn't paid for his daughter's orthodontia that he TOLD HER HE WOULDN'T PAY FOR because he doesn't think it's necessary. For an 11 year old. Who a) doesn't have all her teeth and b) can't even remember to brush what teeth she has.
But apparently, even though he has 50% legal custody, that doesn't matter. Nothing he says or does matters. He is a checkbook and supposed to just agree to everything and anything she wants because she wants it, and she's the only one who matters.
Why is it this way? I'm sitting here in tears again because of this whole situation. I'm so tired of feeling trapped in a Jerry Springer episode. Infuriating BM is the queen of malicious compliance. She does just what she has to do so that she looks like she's cooperating, but she isn't. And somehow that makes everything DH's fault.
AND the trashy lawyer even brought me up in her BS. I work for the City in which the court is located. She had to make a production of asking whether I worked for the court. Like I create some kind of conflict. I feel a little petty for saying this, but how freaking dare she even bring me into their BS? I'm not a party to their fing dispute!
DH needs to have a conversation with his lawyer. She doesn't seem to understand the never-ending BS that this woman is putting us through. What seems reasonable isn't reasonable.
I'm ranting at this point. I just want it all to go away. I adore my DH, but I don't know how long I can keep at this level of stress.
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Comments
My daughter is 11 and we were
My daughter is 11 and we were told no for braces... because wait for it... all of her adult teeth aren't in.
You need to go off on your lawyer!
If there are kids living with
If there are kids living with one parent and the other parent deploys, kids should go to the parent who isn't deploying.
why is this so hard for your court to understand???
If I were your DH, I would change attorneys STAT.
This should NOT be an issue. At all. And certainly not with 50/50 custody.
If the custody is 50/50 legal, then I assume DH would have had to consent to the braces. He didn't, but BM went ahead and got them anyway. Sounds like she should be on the hook, right? BUT, your DH is likely going to have to pony up. My DH had to pay for braces for then 10 year old Karate Kid, even though DH did not consent.
Guess who had to have braces four years later? Yep, Karate Kid. DH got to pay for them twice.
I got mine at 12. Our
I got mine at 12. Our orthodonist said maybe this year at 11. if not 11, then 12. She sure wants them at 11. She's very very self concious about her crooked teeth.
The age braces go on depends
The age braces go on depends on what problem the braces are supposed to correct. If it's just to straighten crooked teeth then yes, orthos like to wait until the adult teeth are in. However, if there are problems with alignment or the bite or something like that it is often easier and faster to fix those problems before the bones of the jaw have completely fused hence, braces on elementary aged kids.
I'm sorry you are having a rough time with the lawyer. I agree with PP's, it may be time to search for a new attorney.
Yep - BabyVoice has the
Yep - BabyVoice has the trifecta of congenitally missing teeth, waaaay to narrow of a jaw and a wicked cross bite. Her orthodontia started when she was in 5th grade with a palate expander and now she is in 8th grade and has had her braces on for a few months now.
DD9 doesn't have a cross bite
DD9 doesn't have a cross bite but she has missing adult teeth (6 we think) and severe crowding. Both the pediatric dentist and the ortho were making noises that you do not want a medical professional making when they examine your child.
Yep - I have heard those
Yep - I have heard those noises when my ortho was examining BabyVoice.
The crowding is the worst.
ASS got DH's teeth but BabyVoice and Karate Kid have Medusa's. KK just got his braces off (second time around because Medusa put them on when he was 8!) but he is missing 3 teeth. Implants when his head stops growing.
I just had my post put in on February 26 and my mouth is still killing me. I wish I had know how painful the implant process was going to be!!
KK and BabyVoice will never survive it.
Yeah the ortho isn't quite
Yeah the ortho isn't quite sure what direction she wants to go with DD's treatment yet but she has already had two baby teeth pulled and it looks like she may need a few more but unless something drastic happens she may escape implants as she doesn't have room for them anyway. Time will tell.
Also, I am pretty sure that
Also, I am pretty sure that active duty military personnel have pretty good insurance. Does that not cover orthodontia? I would think it would but I have never had that type of insurance so I don't know.
DD9 saw the ortho in January
DD9 saw the ortho in January but we don't know yet what all she is going to need so we don't have a price yet. We have to take her in for a recheck in October.
DH's health insurance is fantastic but his dental insurance only covers $1000 of orthodontia, that's the lifetime max which is a bummer but hey, what can you do. $1000 is still $1000 and it's better than a sharp stick in the eye.
SD5's teeth are rotting out of her head. She has all the space in the world in her mouth but we can't keep them from getting cavities. I have to take her back to the pediatric dentist in about 3 weeks for her 17th filling I think. I can't remember, I lost count. Let's just say it's been thousands of dollars of dental work....for a 5 year old.
BabyVoice had the palate
BabyVoice had the palate expander complete with head gear where she had to turn the screws each night.
You are so right - the difference it made was unbelievable!!!
Actually DH *did* go to the
Actually DH *did* go to the consult.
Ortho said she was a candidate. Never that it was medically necessary for treatment to start.
We have to jump through hoops
We have to jump through hoops to get BM to reimburse anything. We are responsible for the first $357 each year and then 77% after that. BM only has to pay 23% but we always have to turn paperwork in to the friend of the court to get them to add it to her CS but we have to fight for every cent we get.
The woman who handles the medical bills will even manually deduct the amount of the bills we turn in if she doesn't like them. She screwed us out of a $507 dental bill this year because she claimed it wasn't a bill and knocked it down to $123.
she is. Poor thing. We need
she is. Poor thing. We need to help her, mustang
We did but apparently since
We did but apparently since SD went through the annual maximum benefit about halfway through her treatment the moron at the FOC apparently decided the amount that went over isn't acceptable. It's really amazing what this office gets away with.
Your attorney sounds like
Your attorney sounds like they're just along for the $$$ train.
Fire them, hire someone else who's actually going to stand up for YOU in court.
nengooseus, I feel your pain.
nengooseus, I feel your pain. There is a long road ahead for you. Unfortunately, I wish I could say it will get better quickly.
Today is a big day for me. SS (the youngest SKid) is 18. I made it! All I can offer at this time is that every day that passes is one day closer to being done! Sorry. I have been where you have been. Court battles (my husband lost most), braces, child support, day care, summer camps, holidays, uninterrupted parenting weeks...blah, blah, blah. We never had an extra dime with all the expenses DH had to pay to BM, doctors, our attorney, and constantly fighting the slew of unexpected bills when BM made her "best interest of the kids" decision without us, which the court fell for every time. Joint legal custody means nothing!
For ten years, my life was not my life and my home was not my home. I was penalized for DH's youthful decision to marry and have kids with such a vile, nasty woman. I stuck it out. Today is the first day of the rest of MY life.
I just want you to know that I understand how you feel and I'm sorry you are going through this.