BM cancels her visit and once again peace returns to my house!
BM had not seen SS7 in weeks when she had her first unsupervised 5 hour visit last Sunday. She was also court ordered to get him from 12-5 on Thanksgiving. Early Friday morning, we awoke to the sound of dh getting a text message. It was BM saying that we could keep SS this Sunday so we "could do something with him." Like she gives a shit about us! He asked her if she was sure and she said yes. She then said "Don't use this against me." The hearing officer and evaluator just look at the facts and draw their own conclusions and opinions. She claims in court (and even has a petition for physical custody) that she wants to be in his life so bad and raise him, but that we thwart her rights. We never thwarted her visits EVER! She either just doesn't show up, like she did for a year, or cancels. It is bullshit for her to make it seem like she just wants us to have time with him. HE LIVES WITH US ALL THE TIME! Dh and I were off of work Friday, so we would have had 2 days to be with him. She hadn't seen him in weeks, and hasn't really been apart of his life for almost 2 years, any caring parent would have loved the opportunity to see their kid twice in one week. She even thinks 5 hr visits are too long.
Our attorney says that our hearing officer is finally seeing BM for who she really is and is starting to rethink his unwarranted dislike of dh. He told our attorney that BM's arguments don't make sense. If we were truly making false accusations against her, why hasn't she gone to see the evaluator for an update as he makes the final call. If you were being falsely accused of abuse (physical, emotional, and sexual), wouldn't you run to see the person who makes the decisions. We were ordered to complete the update sessions in September. We went and she has not even answered the evaluator's phone calls. She knows that he is the only one who sees the truth and sees through her fake ass victim act. The hearing officer believes she is putting this off, because everything we said is true. The hearing officer has been our biggest enemy all this time. If he is switching sides, we could finally see some justice and get some peace. Last year when we did our first evaluation, the dr. reported how severely crazy, irresponsible, abusive, how much of a liar she is, and how she had incredibly poor judgment, and that was when she had a job and a car. Now she has no job, no car, is knocked up by her druggy, violent bf who he ordered to not be allowed in the presence of SS, and lives in some crazy commune situation with like 4 other people and her bf over 30 miles away. I think our January 19 hearing will be the end of all our legal stress and fighting.
When we told SS, he got upset because he wouldn't be seeing his cousins because she is ordered to have the visits at her mom's house and doesn't have a car so her sister that lives next door to their mom drives her to pick SS up. When he saw her last Sunday and Thanksgiving, he pretty much just visited with her mom, sister, and his cousins. We asked if he was sad about not seeing BM. He made a ugly face and shook his head like we just asked him if he wanted to eat bugs. Ever since then, a calm and peace has descended over the house and everything has been good. He's been happy, behaved, and extra sweet and loving. The only problem we have had with him is his speech. He has been talking like BM's trashy ass family. He isn't pronouncing his r's, for example "ova huh" instead of "over here." He is also singing inappropriate rap songs. Now I have no problem with rap songs as I'm from New Orleans, and it's really big here. He just is singing really trashy songs that are way too old for him. He is really smart, because of us. I do not want him to bring that ignorant crap here to my house. When he talks like that, dh and I just want to ring his neck. We try so hard to broaden his horizons and to culturally mature him. We don't need these trash bags bringing him down. While this is infuriating, everything else has been great. For the first time in a while, we had a very nice, family-oriented weekend. I wish BM would just go away and not cause all of this stress every week especially for something she really and truly doesn't want.
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I can't help but wonder what
I can't help but wonder what her true motives are. It takes a lot of energy, time & effort to be such a pain in the butt. Hopefully the hearing officer will see through it. But, isn't it annoying that the BMs are given the benefit of the doubt?
It's the worst thing ever!
It's the worst thing ever! It's such a slap to the face, kick to the junk! They eat up her bs and fall for her victim routine. The truth is that she DOES NOT CARE ABOUT HIM AT ALL! This whole court thing is just jealousy and vengence. She has a free atty and they manipulate clerks to file anything she needs without paying anything so fighting is free and effortless. She isn't fighting for him, she's just fighting against us. We pay out the butt for everything for SS and atty fees and court costs. This is financially ruining us all so that we can keep SS safe and in a loving, stable home. Our atty said that the hearing officer seemed to reaaly respond to her argument that he has been rewarding her bad behavior and punishing dh for being a caring, protective, and upstanding father. I think he's seeing the light and reading the evaluator's report (if she ever actually goes) will just send him over the top.