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Why is it us stepmoms are carrying their baggage?

Heyyou's picture

Just a vent, I guess, 

- Did you marry me and plan on having children, NO, so why am I looking after yours and some other bitches crunch dropping? 

- I don't recall giving birth to any kids, I am a childless woman and have never been married

- Sd own mother doesn't cater to her, wait on her, stack cupboards full of every snack and food she likes,, cook all her favorite meals, cater food into her room, and drive her and her friends all over the place regardless, of the distance or inconvenience, never picked up after her, never provided her with her own room, and won't let her come between her and her new husband. So, why am I expected to do all these things for your child and her own mother won't?  sd? go mooch off your mama it ain't me!

- I do not have any authority over your child. I cannot disciple her, speak up to her, nothing is to be asked of her, and you will undermine me every chance you get and do it right in front of her so she knows she is the boss here and rules the roost!

- We go out why does she always have to come? I'm tired of paying for her meals and outings. I don't even get a thank you from the kid it's just expected, and at almost 18 she shouldn't want to hang out with us old folks. ( just hanging out with us because she is getting stuff )

- Does BM go without her needs to make sure her child has all her wants? No, she doesn't even bother with her, and like you, she drops her responsibility on me. Why am I expected to then? Why I'm a bad person for not loving your child? Does your child love me? No, I'm just an ATM, a place to stay, and her own room, a place to stuff her face, meals catered into her room, lunch made for school, lunch bag full of junk food, and free maid service. That is why she is living here full-time!

If we were not together I would never hear from your kid ever again. If I were sick and needed help she wouldn't be there for me, like I was for her. She doesn't even care about me nor love me. and in her eyes, I'm just someone to use. I'm sure, if you dropped dead she would be the first one trying to kick me out of my house, take whatever she could, and leave me with nothing.  Do you think she would care? No, 

The big question is no, my mother never put me on this earth to worship the ground she walks on. You and your ex made her this way and I'm done carrying baggage that isn't mine to carry. exit plan is slow but sure, I'm done Why is she bothering to go to school? She doesn't do assignments, she fails everything, and I know she is just gonna sit in her room, stuff her face, be catered and waited on, and you will be perfectly okay with that Well, guess what I'm not! 

thanks for letting me vent, I know, if I don't get out soon I'm going to go nuts. I know that kid is never going to launch and I'll be dead before she moves out :I have to move on and let him and his mini-wife live the dream without me 

ESMOD's picture

Ours is not to question why.. ours is but to do or die.

Steplife proverb.. either we can do it.. or we just have to gtfo.. lol.

Heyyou's picture

Well, I have seen a lawyer but need to keep saving to pay for the lawyer :(  Oh, the meals thing is now not happening to save the fight I just do not go to invites i stopped that from my last post tys for letting me vent 

Harry's picture

All movies and TV shows don't show Steplife the true way.  You are exactly right in your thinking.  You didn't create this mess.  Not Your Job to clean it up..   They don't actually want you to clean it up.. They want you to be the unpaid babysitter.. Well they actually want you to pay for being the babysitter...Doing all the work. Having no say in anything.. and being disrespected.

There no reason to be in a relationship where your are second, or third.   This the kids come first crap. Is carp....If the kids actually came first they will not of divorce.   So the kids only come first when you were involved.  

Rags's picture

The big question is... why are you still with this dipshit failed man, failed father, and serially failed DH?

Do not delay. Have the locks rekeyed and purge this dumbass and his shallow and polluted gene pool from your life. Immediately if not sooner.

Take care of you.

Give rose

Notthedoormat's picture

I'd go ahead and lay down the law....no more of you financially supporting SD. Her parents can do that. If she needs something,  she should ask one of them. I would stop with stocking the pantry for her. She can eat what's prepared for meals or fend for herself.  No more maid service,  but her room better be ready for inspection.  Any problems, direct them to daddy to deal with and let him know that's how it's going to be from this point forward.  

Little savages's picture

 'I do not have any authority over your child. I cannot disciple her, speak up to her, nothing is to be asked of her, and you will undermine me every chance you get and do it right in front of her so she knows she is the boss here and rules the roost!'  For this exact reason, I'm leaving in 2 weeks - it's been 5 years and nothing has changed. Skids have zero common sense or accountability now but think they're so smart. I disengaged 2 years ago but as skids have gone into teen years, soon to be ex-SO has over helped them even more. There's a lot of love between me and my SO but it's been worn away by him calling me out more and more in front of the kids. Even if I say something purely out of concern for another human being (eg 'SS, put more sunscreen on your back so you don't end up with 3rd degree burns like you did on vacation in Florida', I'm told off like a child while both skids watch and learn!!! Forget it. I'm out. Mini- wife can have him to herself at last!