advice....PLEASE!!!!!
My husband and I have been married for 2 years...I have a 7 & 8 yr old and he has 5 kids...2 live with us (21 & 23) they are lazy...slobs and do nothing around the house. I have tried to deal with it my way which was cleaning up after them. I then got sick of it and told my husband about their mess and how they do nothing to help out. He then tells them they need to help out...so they do for 2 days then back to being slobs. So I ignore their mess and hope my husband would see it and tell them to clean it, but instead of telling them to clean it, he cleans it!!! When I get mad at my husband for cleaning up after them he compares my 7 & 8 yr old to them!! And how they don't help out either. I don't know what else to do, I am not their maid I have enough to do...SS both work but disrespect their dad and myself by not helping out. But my H defends his boys tooth and nail...I think all this stress and fighting may lead to a break up...anyone have any advice????
They need to get the hell
They need to get the hell out. Do they work, go to school, what?
Yes the both work...but are
Yes the both work...but are off 2-3 days at a time. They pay rent...but to me if only covers room and board...then they eat us out of house and home then complain about there being no food...so they order pizza...for themselves 2-3 times a week
He says he is stuck in the
He says he is stuck in the middle...I complain they do nothing...and they complain I do nothing!!!...I used to cook them dinners but I told them until they respect me I'm not doing anything for them.
You need an "Adult living at
You need an "Adult living at home" contract for those two, list out exactly what is expected from them to be living at home. Ours stated SD must be in college full time and all the chores that we expected of her each week. If chores were not done, they would be done for her at a rate of $15 per hour (that only took one time), if she quit school (which she did) she was to pay rent (didn't want to and moved out).
Understandably your DH has to be onboard but trust me, he will get sick of cleaning up after adults after awhile and he certainly isn't doing them any favors, he is actually hindering their development.
Phew, I really feel your pain. So sorry
I have brought up the chores
I have brought up the chores list to my DH...one day he will agree to it then the next...its not necessary. Something will have to be done...if not...someone is gona snap
Thanks for the advice
I get pissed when he cleans
I get pissed when he cleans after them yes. If he keeps doing it for them...how will they ever learn!!! My young kids clean up after them selves and even takes the garbage out...asking my ss to do anything...I get the glare or the "I will do it later" and when I tell my DH he just does it. It is causing a lot of issues with our marriage as well
I get pissed when he cleans
I get pissed when he cleans after them yes. If he keeps doing it for them...how will they ever learn!!! My young kids clean up after them selves and even takes the garbage out...asking my ss to do anything...I get the glare or the "I will do it later" and when I tell my DH he just does it. It is causing a lot of issues with our marriage as well
I'm the same...I do daycare
I'm the same...I do daycare from home...then I have dinner homework etc with my kids...then I'm still cleaning my mess and SS mess...by the time I'm done...I'm ready for bed. I don't have time or energy to clean after 4 adults and 2 kids (daycare kids as well!!)
You know you said yourself
You know you said yourself your solution to this was to clean up after them yourself. It took you a while to get sick of doing that and complain to your husband. Now your husband has just handled it exactly the same way you initially did, you jump on him. Why didn't you just leave it alone. Your husband was going to pick up after them, good. You should have left him to get sick of it too. But the fact that your initial response to this was to clean up after them hasn't helped you know. In fact it's contributed to the problem.
My husband cleans after them
My husband cleans after them 20% of the time...I do the rest...not because I want to but I have to. I run daycare out of my home and I need the house clean. My DH can handle the mess but I can't. I know I should never have started cleaning after them...but honestly I was not expecting them to be this disrespectful
Put your foot down! This is
Put your foot down!
This is your workplace.
Anything they leave out from here on, disappears. Period. Never to return.
If they eat, it has to be at the table.
Put your contract in writing. Lay it all out. I like the cost of being cleaned up after at $30 per hour. make them feel it.
They either sign it or they collect their belongings from the curb tomorrow.