Who is responsible for a dirty room?
So YSS is half moved in to the other room and OSSs stuff is sitting in boxes ready to be put out once YSS has fully cleaned out of his old room. I asked DH when that would be happening because YSS did minimal cleaning, the vacuum is abandoned in his old room, and his new room is already turning into a sty and there's barely anything in there. I also informed DH I expect it to all get cleaned soon. There are things that were mine from my house that went into their rooms and I am appalled and upset by how ill-used it is and how little care they took of things in their rooms.
DH said he would do it and that he was sorry the skids were such slobs. I told DH that while those are the skids rooms, it's his fault. All these years he's said he'd handle them and check on their cleaning. He was in charge and he let it get to this state. Told him I am upset about it and with him. The state of their rooms is all on him. Now it will be clean to my standards and I will be doing the checking and enforcing.
He made some statements about DSs room being a mess. I said, yes it was, and that I get that kids have their space/room and there's a certain amount of mess. Mess is one thing, filthy with ants, musty dog blankets, and old food is a whole different thing. I made DS clean his room much more than DH made the skids clean their rooms and to a cleaner level. Yet, DH swore up and down that he checked things and it was done well. BS
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Yes, clothes scattered around
Yes, clothes scattered around, and the like, is a whole different thing than nastiness.
To answer your question..
To answer your question...Parents are responsible to make their kids clean UP.
I deep-cleaned the skids'
I deep-cleaned the skids' rooom ONCE. DH got tired of seeing clothes on the floor, so he shut the door. Until the day I told him I could smell mold and he walked in to find FIVE of our good towels in a pile on the floor. They had been thrown down wet and left there. DH was furious - he'd picked out those towels! They were bathsheets and very soft, fluffy, and $$$.
The next time the skids came over, the proverbial shite hit the fan and DH dictated some rules.
The skids had to do some hard labor (yardwork) to make up for the cost of those towels
Pfftttt, that's not happening
here. There have been plenty of instances. DH had to clean out the ants in YSSs drawers. Years later his room is still a cube of filth and abandoned piles. In that YSS takes after DH.
DH has rarely ever been furious and usually it's with me because I deigned to say an unpleasant truth about the skids. It's why their rooms are the way they are: he doesn't want to upset them by making them clean more, so just enough to show he did it (or until he forgets to follow-up) is enough.
The frustrating thing with each issue is that he doesn't see his part in it.
Oh my God, these parents who
Oh my God, these parents who don't want to upset their kids! I just don't get it. Such power they give them.
I will be eternally thankful
I will be eternally thankful that my DH got over that ickle Disney Dad stuff! SS16 now actually OFFERS to do things, like mow the lawn, rake, clean up dead branches, etc. He loves being outside, so it's a win-win.