I'm sooooo frustrated right now and don't know what to do next. I'm sick of living in a messy, dirty shit hole because dh allows his kids to behave like slobs and does nothing about it. I've posted about this before but nothing has changed and I'm still putting up with the same old crap. I'm totally pissed off with coming home from work and finding shoes, coats and other crap all over the floor for me to trip over, dirty plates and cups everywhere, rotting bits of fruit and fruit peel left around the place and crumbs all over the kitchen and living room because it doesn't occur to skids to use a plate when they make sandwiches or toast. I've lost count of the times I've told dh it's not acceptable and he agrees with me, gets them to clean up after themselves for a couple of days and then slips back into not giving a shit and letting them act like slobs. These boys are 8, 10 & 15 so not toddlers and there's absolutely no excuse for them to turn my house into a tip through pure laziness. DH has health problems so I have taken on some of the chores but mainly shopping and cooking rather than cleaning as I refuse to spend my time and energy cleaning up after his messy, lazy kids.

I told him last night that it has to stop. I told him that by continuing to ignore my feelings and allowing this to go on, I'm becoming more and more resentful of him and his kids, that I'm being taken advantage of and that I am not a doormat. I asked him if he thought I should do all the chores in the house as well as work to which he replied definitely not, so I told him that that's what seems to be happening, that unless I do it it doesn't get done and I'm sick and tired of it. I told him I feel disrespected in my own home and that his priorities seem to be all about kids and what they want and that me, his wife, is somewhere at the bottom of the list. I told him I understand that he struggles with poor health and depression, but my health also isn't great and I have depression too. Sometimes I really don't feel like going to work but not bothering is simply not an option for me so I have to get on with it. I told him this and he agreed with me. He says he can understand how I feel and that he has been far too lenient on the kids. He says he appreciates everything I do and that he knows I do far more than he does. He says he has never intentionally disrespected me, taken advantage of me and that I am at the top of the priority list because he loves me dearly. I do believe him because he's a very genuine, honest kind of guy but I told him he's going to have to start proving it.

He says he's going to draw up a rota for the kids and enforce it using rewards and punishments, which is fine if he sticks to it but I'm half expecting him to let it slide after a week. I told him that seeing as though he chose to take on the responsibility of raising 3 kids by taking BM to court for custody, it's time he lived up to that responsibility as the parent and again he agreed with me. I'm disengaged from skids to a certain extent in that I don't get involved in parenting/discipline etc as I feel that it's dh's responsibility and not mine and I don't know what I'll do if something doesn't change soon. I love him very much and he's a great guy, but I can't carry on like this.