SD wants to come back after one year
Last year, after 8 years of living primarily with my husband, SS16 and I, the court ordered (at SD13 and BM's request) that she could go live primarily with BM an hour away. This resulted in a change of school and much less time with all of us. SS16 remained primarily with us.
This weekend SD (now 14) told my husband that she has been doing a lot of thinking and she's decided that she wants to move back with us and start her Freshmen year in out district. She said she has brought it up with her mom several times and that her mom got very angry and told her she needed to give it another year before deciding.
My husband will be contacting his attorney today to find out what course of action to take but has anyone else been through this? Is it as simple as her expressing mature preference again or will we have another court battle on our hands? We spent thousands of dollars fighting it last year and ultimately the judge said that she was old enough to choose. The order also says that "both parents should be prepared to deal with the possibility that the move may not turn out to be a success for her and they will allow her the freedom to learn and grow from the experience"
We definitely welcome her back to our house but I'm not looking forward to battling it out again in court.
Your not going to like this:
Your not going to like this: but I am siding with BM.
The kid made a decision and pulled a power play in court. Let her live with the decision and realize that this was a choice she made. Because of the choice the consequence is she does not get what she wants.
And while a judge will listen to a minor age 12 and up... if she is bouncing that fast he will likely deny it as the child actually is not old enough to make up her mind. If he doesn't deny it your setting yourelf up for this kid bouncing yearly, or more often evertime something comes up she doesn't like - just because she can.
Do not let the kid be in control.
^^ Agree with this ^^ NO kid
Agree with this ^^^^^^
Agree with this ^^^^^^
If BM agreed, it would be
If BM agreed, it would be Fairly simple and relatively inexpensive. Because she does not, yes, you should expect another lengthy trial-like situation and several more thousands of dollars.
And justhiswife is correct, after only a year the judge may not go for it this time. Are you sure it's just about school? She hasn't decided mom is too mean, has too many rules, isn't around enough or something? Because house bouncing is a terrible precedent to set. It easily turns into "I'm going to go live with (other parent)" every time she gets told no.
As someone who has spent
As someone who has spent thousands and thousands in family court, I would say to you to work it out without court. She is two years away from 18 , and then it won't matter a damn.. You just can not recover that money, and we are now realizing tht was precious retirement mobey that was pissed away.
It's the 14 y/o that's
It's the 14 y/o that's changing her mind, not the older one.
Again, do not waste anymore
Again, do not waste anymore money over these kids changing their minds.. Not worth it at the end of the day, and it just feeds the toxic system called family court. Work it out..
Again, do not waste anymore
Again, do not waste anymore money over these kids changing their minds.. Not worth it at the end of the day, and it just feeds the toxic system called family court. Work it out..
Again, do not waste anymore
Again, do not waste anymore money over these kids changing their minds.. Not worth it at the end of the day, and it just feeds the toxic system called family court. Work it out..
I say... you can only leave
I say... you can only leave once... and you can't come back. end
UPDATE: So it has not been an
UPDATE:
So it has not been an easy process but...as of August 14 we will have SD primarily and go back to the parenting plan we had previously. Now BM spends her time making under handed comments to SD like "how could you hurt me like this" and "I don't understand why you are doing this to me". This stuff is only deterioriating their relationship further. SD's response has been "This isn't about you, its about me". The past year has really been an eye opener for SD. She no longer has her mom up there on the pedestal. We will have to wait and see where things go from here.
I hope it works out
I hope it works out for you and SD. Maybe she will learn manipulation doesn't always get you what you want. Sadly biomom is ruining her relationship saying those kids of things. We have a similar situation however SD is moving over seas. Biomom glorified the move. Failed to mention her grandpa isn't doing well the last few years and he will most likely pass while she's gone and she may never get to see him again. I hope the transition goes smoothly for you all. And biomom realizes for her it's quality of time over quantity.