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Do I confront her or shutup?

tertwos's picture

BB dropped off sd's on Saturday, didn't even come to the door, until she came back 5 minutes later to confirm babysitting for Monday am . We pay her mom to babysit for us on Monday am/pm and Tuesday am, part of the access time that is ours. Kids are out of school this week. BB asked me out of dh earshot range, what is the point of picking the kids up Monday nite, when they will be back home Tuesday am and then have to get up two days early. I firmly replied that we like to have a family dinner on Monday nite, and that is how it is when we are both working, the kids have to get up with us....she didn't like my reply....and left our house, door wide open.....I didn't get mad until later.....DH dropped off kids this am to BB, because I refused, and she read him the riot act, and said I was rude to her, and out of line, just because of her "suggestion"....her suggestion was not a direct statement of why not bring the kids home early, but a beat around the bush statement....Do I confront her, or ignore her......??????

Anne 8102's picture

If there's anything more to be done on this issue, let DH deal with it. Who needs the aggravation?!

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

Catch22's picture

This is why we SM's get so upset because we let the things BM says get to us and then they start to eat your soul! The best advice I have had on this site was from Anne who told me to admit defeat. I am in the process of doing that now and everyday gets easier. Just ignore her, she wants you to get the shits and come confronting her, that way she has more ammo to fire at DH about you. Just ignore her and her stock of ammo will soon run out and you'll get just a little extra peace in your life. God knows we need it!! LOL

Catch xx

tertwos's picture

Actually, I sent her an email, cc my dh, stating this

"Hi_________________,

I just wanted to let you know that, I think it is best that you and DH discuss things directly regarding the SD"s. It is not necessary to make suggestions or ask me about you having extra time with them. This is just best to avoid any misunderstanding and confusion. I want you to continue to feel comfortable calling the house, but I will ask that you discuss things with DH. It is not my call to make decisions regarding the sd"s access time.

If for some reason you do need my inputs, I still am happy to answer any questions you have, and will continue to be direct in my manner."

Anne 8102's picture

I think it sounds good, but I'm not your BM. Wink Seriously, it's polite, civil, welcoming and straightforward... all the things my BM hates!

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

OldTimer's picture

I think she'll take it as a sarcastic backhanded remark, myself... but only BM ultimate will decide- LOL.

I only say it because if she got her panties in a bunch from your verbal response, since it wasn't what she wanted to hear, she certainly won't take kindly to this either, regardless of your 'relationship.'

I deal with this all the time. People will often take my remarks (if they do not know me) a little off beat. I am a blunt person, dry sense of humor at times, and I don't beat around the bush. Anyone that knows me knows you don't ask me a question you don't want to hear the answer to, because I'll tell you! (This is no joke, I once had a co-worker ask me if 'I liked them.' My response... "No" very nonchalant, and kept on walking. LOL }:) You ask, I'll tell.)

Personally, I would have left it alone. Hope it is received well. Wink

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

tertwos's picture

Thanks, I already sent it, and most likely won't get a reply, and don't need one either. Most likely my dh will get mad, but I will not discuss it with him. Yes, these are the things that this BM dislikes too, because she cannot be happy unless everyone else is miserable....

Anne 8102's picture

Gee, that sounds familiar! Wink

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)