I quit....no longer will be a stepmom
My DH and I got into a vicious fight over discipline of my son. Then the SD's got heck for something they didn't do...so I spoke out against this...and the fight was on....this was just one issue was disciplining each others kids, the main issue is my DH is abusive, verbally and physically...so I decided to end it for the sake of the kids.....this is hard, I will miss my SD's and the investment of my time and love into their lives. My son is relieved all though he will miss the SD's but not the DH. The BB or BM loves it when we have scrapped and separate and now DH says he wants her back....(said in anger)....best thing that could happen for all of them....I am oughta here....and I couldn't take another day after 3 years......the hassle, time, and mental energy it takes....in my own personal situation was not worth it......
tertwos
Sorry
I'm sorry..but your probably making the best decision for YOU and your SON. You need to worry about the two of you..your DH and his kids will be fine.
Take care of yourself!
V
God Bless you it is a hard
God Bless you it is a hard decision but a necessary one to get out of something so bad.
We are here to back you up and support you.
I know how hard it is I've gone through it. You are hurting now but you will be better for it.
Good luck!
Lisa Dawn
Sending cyber hugs....
Sometimes cutting our losses and "bugging out" is best for everyone. When my (very abusive) relationship came to an end, I felt horribly guilty for hanging on as long as I did - and for subjecting my kids to the environment.
You sound very strong-willed and determined. Undoubtedly, you are a "survivor" and will survive this. I envy your self-confidence, something I woefully lacked 10 years ago.
Are you moving out of the house, or is he?
Keep us posted, okay? Best wishes,
Tootsie
"You gonna skin that smoke wagon, ‘er just stand there and bleed?"
It's my house....he is gone with his kids...
I left for 3 days with my son, and so he could get a chance to leave with SD's. He packed up their rooms, I did not say goodbye to them...because it is too hard on me and them.....I am strong, and I will survive....I am sad because of the loss of the marriage, but I know because of my anger and hostility towards this whole unfortunate mess things would not get better by themselves.....
He still needs to get the rest of his stuff, but I am not speaking to him....and he has no interest in speaking to me. My mother in law told my bro in law, that DH probably never loved me anyway.....I don't care what anybody thinks.......step families take more effort and committment than bio families, and I knew I wasn't cut out for it in the long run....
Thanks for your support....
Glad to hear back from you...
I'm so glad to hear back from you - I've been thinking about you, wondering how you were doing.
I guess the next step is to put the pieces of your life back together and you sound like you've got a good start on that. You sound like you're doing okay and I'm hoping your son is okay as well.
I've been there and I know it's not easy. We're all here for you if you need support.
Keep us posted and let us know how you and your son are doing.
Best wishes,
Tootsie
"You gonna skin that smoke wagon, ‘er just stand there and bleed?"
I'm really sorry
Then again I'm glad for you to recognize that you can't squeeze blood out of a turnip. You've done all you can do. No more wasting time on a no win situation.
Good for you!!
I too have been putting up with the way that my husband pretty much bends over backwards for his ex-wife. We dated for 4 years and got married in 2006, have been married for a year. But she is always in the picture, I hate dealing with it and the fact that he does nothing when she denies visitation. It's as if they might as well still be married because he is such a coward. It has caused problems for us. It's as if we are just two people sharing a home and splitting the bills. I feel as though I am just going through each day with my head in a fog. Then, when we do see his two daughters, he is their friend instead of a parent, so there is no discipline and they pretty much get whatever they want. I become invisible when they are around. It's as if our relationship is there when it's convenient for him. What adds to all of this is that I have a daughter, 6, that lives with us from a previous marriage and she sees all of this. I know she has got to be confused with they ways the rules always seem to change when ever SD's are around. And I also don't like the way that my husband treats my daughter when the SD's are here at our home. It's confusing and frustrating. I've told him that we need to go to counseling, but we haven't. He acts as if there is no problem. I feel as though, like you, I'm just done with the whole thing.
It is Hard
But Believe me it takes courage to do what you are doing. Many of days I wanted to do the same. I am sick of being a step Mom myself. Yesterday I went off on my skids telling one of them about how bad it is to shoplift. What I got is rolling eyes. I soooo wanted to smack the shit out of her. But I don't hit or spank the children. I told her I am not tolerating the disrespect and I have no problems putting her on the plane to live with BM and moving some where else because I am sick of her attitude. All my husband does is yell...nothing else. He is good about bitching and moaning but no action. I see it that Iwill get my fill of it all and do the same. Being a step parent as a very bad investment for me personally. You invest your money, time, and emotion to children that don't understand, don't appreciate and when they are grown you are forgotten. That is what I got from my other step daughter from a prior marriage. I see the same thing happening here.
I question everyday why am I doing this. I love my husband but is this worth it. I don't think so.
Boy do I feel the same
I also love my hubby but sometimes I ask myself why I ever wanted to be with a man with this child. I knew he was going to be a big problem from day 1, but still I married the guy..go figure?? In my last relationship I had an SS11 til he was 14 an he always spoke to me with respect and followed the rules. He was a sneaky little bugger but when aren't they at that age?
When I ask myself is it me that has the problem with current SS? I think back to my other SS and realise that although we didn't always see eye to eye we had mutual respect for the roles we played in each others lives. So this SS is unbearable but it's because DH stands by our marriage and doesn't cater to SS's whims first, that we survive, if not for that I'd be hitting that road also. Good luck on your new journey and remember your best is all you can do, don't carry it around with you like I have in the past.
Catch xx
We are doing really well...........
My son and I are back in my house. We are fine, we are both relieved, no more walking on eggshells anymore. To top things off the bioBag phoned and asked if she could come over to my house to retrieve the SD's dvd's and toys that were in my basement.....oh, and that oldest SD would love to come over and say HI.......I did not reply verbally to this phone message. I sent her an email, and said legally I could not give her things that may belong to exhusband, and that it is ex responsibility to retrieve things, and next that I would like to see SD but only at ex husband mother's house, so could she arrange that? and that right now I need my privacy and would appreciate her respecting that.....THE NERVE OF THAT COW......yes the SD's had 4 boxes of toys that they moved in with from their DAd's house, and no they don't own any DVD's as any that I bought lately were for all the kids, not just them......I don't owe her squat.....