Why doesn't BF or the little turd clean it up? That's just ridiculous.

My parents just whooped us if we left any mess in the bathroom... like if our towels or dirty clothes were on the floor... if our toothbrushes and toothpaste weren't properly put away... if the sink wasn't cleaned of toothpaste... if the toilet wasn't flushed.

Nowadays... you can't do that. :/ Unfortunately.

Blabb does the same thing. She leaves a huge mess in the bathroom and it looks like a tornado has passed through it. She never washes her hair... she never uses the soap. She usually just stands there for ten minutes and calls herself clean. When she DOES take a shower. Most of the time she doesn't like to. Because she would rather smell I guess.

I would seriously start making the kid clean up his own mess (when kids clean their own messes, their usually careful about the next time and make not such a big mess then... well, some kids do) and if he doesn't or BF jumps on you for making his precious child do something (oh the horror!) then just leave the bathroom alone. BF isn't going to like it when he steps in a big puddle of water with his socks on... or maybe he will slip in the water and hit his head, knocking some sense into him.

I agree with 2ndwife. My Skids were the same way. I did however figure out a few things. BM and DH had never taught them to properly wash and brush their teeth! I spent a few weeks helping them re-learn how to do these things. Mind you they were 5 & 7 at the time but still I think that is old enough to start.I used to check up on them. After they came out of the shower I would run my fingers thru their hair if it was greasy or not cleaned well I would make them re-do it until they got it right.I spent many months teaching and keeping after them about the mess the left in the sink.I also am big into making sure they washed their hands after using the toilet. I ask them to show me their hands I will feel if they are damp and check if they smell like soap.If they lie I watch them the next few times they wash their hands.I am sure you get the point cause I could go on and on. I just wanted to share my experience.Now go get SS hand him a sponge and have him get to it

It is better to be the hammer than the anvil.
Emily Dickinson

his father monitor the shower process (making sure the curtain is in place, that he is using shampoo, that he is cleaning his ears, etc.) & the clean-up afterward (are the towels in the right place, is the floor dry, is the sink washed and dried). This will mean physical movement on the dh's part so he might not be too happy with it.
Since you are the one doing it----he's off scott free. Insist on it. Having the child there actually means extra cleaning responsibilites. If the women do it all, the men see no problem with having the kid over more and more. After all, there's nothing to it.

i have two kids of my own, DS is 10, DD is 8. neither one of them have to be forced to shower, although they do need a good head scrubbing from me on occasion. neither one needs to be told to change their underwear, wear clean clothes, or to brush their hair. they just do it - on their own. one thing they don't do - hang up their wet towels. they also usually need to be reminded to brush their teeth.

my SKs? are disgusting. the older one has horrible acne and it's because she never washes her face or hair. she claims to, but i don't believe her, because i never see her doing it when she's at our house.

the younger one, who is just a bit younger than my son, is ALWAYS dirty. she has nice clothes to wear here but she'll choose the skirt that's too short and the shirt with a food stain on it. she never brushes or washes her hair, which is almost to her waist. it's a mess. she has to be FORCED to shower, and when she does shower, she leaves the curtain outside of the tub (like she's never showered before or something!!) and can't get all the shampoo out of her hair. my 8 yr old daughter can do all of this by herself, but SD can't manage it ever. not once has she successfully showered or bathed at our house without having made a giant mess of the floor or gotten all the soap out of her hair. if she takes a bath, i have to clean the tub AFTER she gets out b/c of the ring she leaves on it.

i wish i was making this up. sadly, i am not.

my DH knows they are pigs, but does nothing to enforce cleanliness. he'll say, "i told her to take a bath." but he never makes her do it. he'll say, "i told her not to wear that skirt." but he won't actually make her change.

and of course, i'm the mean one. it's not all their fault. some of this has to be put on their BM, but come ON.

~it's all fun and games til someone loses an eye...

To prevent wasted shampoo...

I purcahsed 2 hand soap pump bottles a Walmart ($1.88 @) and filled them with shampoo and conditioner. I then labeled each one. This cut down TREMENDOUSLY on cost and mess. I have a label maker so the labels were water proof, but you can just use an adress label and put packing tape over it. That worked fine before I got my handy dandy label maker.

3 separate guests who have used the guest/kids bathroom while visiting, thought it was such a great idea they have done it at their homes and have told me how well it worked for them too.

I'm not sure what you can do about kids being obilvious. Turd Blossom dried herself on the bathmat once because the towels had not been put back after being washed!

My former ss did the same thing. I'd go into the bathroom after he took a shower and found the same kind of mess. Luckily for me his dad made sure he cleaned up after himself. He was actually a pretty good father, didn't let his kids get away with the crap most of the dads here do. I've even seen him chase his boy down to whup his a$$!

My DF takes all the responsibility of SK's However, I have now have BF attention that SK's have to start taking care of bathroom & doing chores. I believe that you have to foster cleanliness in kids at an early age. BUT they dont need to get paid for cleaning up the areas they use in the home.

My skids are just like that at 13 and 14--wash hair with conditioner (duh!), leave globs of toothpaste all over, my personal favorite--use my dental floss and take 16 feet of it and leave it all over (they have braces btw so how they're flossing that is beyond me!). They're basically animals with no home training. FH guilt parents to the max and wouldn't dare upset his little sunshine babies so I just ignore the filth and dream of the day when I will be free.lol

My SS 15 3/4 would use a towl, leave it on the floor wet in the bedroom and get a new one the next day. I fixed his butt...took all the towels out of his bathroom and he was forced to use the same one over & over. If he wants a clean, unsmelly, & handy towl, he has to hang it up where it belongs so he'll have it next time instead of having access to a new one because the old one was left to simmer and smell on the floor. I make him clean his own sink from toothpaste blobs before he leaves for home and clean up his room. I even make him wash his own clothes & hang them up. I'm not his servant or slave! If we don't quit enabling the lazy arses, shame on all of us.

***We're too blessed to be stressed!***

Hold it right there...make a LARGE sign in the bathroom that states what it expected of this little jerk. Post a giant whiteboard with a black marker so he can check off what he has done so far and what needs to be done. If he's going to act like a baby then TREAT HIM LIKE A BABY. I guarantee he'll fix the error of his ways if you start invading his privacy and treating him like a toddler.

"We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.”

have DH take a shower & brush his teeth with him to show the proper way of using the bathroom. Really embarrass the little rat so he learns to do it right or suffer the consequences of having his privacy invaded.

***We're too blessed to be stressed!***

My SS likes to say he showered or washed up if he didn't, he likes to say he brushed his teeth when he doesn't. He loves to play with other people's shampoo's and such. I don't know how many times I have screamed just because he decided to squirt all my shaving cream out of the bottle. I got so mad the last time he did that I not only whooped his butt, I also started taking my shampoo/conditioner, body wash out of the bathroom until I was ready to shower. On top of that I also made sure I took money out of his piggy bank to replace my shaving cream. I hate having to take my stuff out of the bathroom but I find that to be my only solution. He always cleans up any messes. Both he and SD switch off days (odd and even method) when cleaning the sink each morning. My husband is very big on having a clean house and they know it. So we dont have to much issues with them on that.

When I first came into SD life, she would shower, but there would be water all over the floor and she'd leave the towel on the floor etc. I came in right away, and called her back, and said "Hey! are you washing the floor too? Let's clean this up" "Hey! Are you doing laundry because this towel shouldn't be on the floor if it's clean"! Stuff to that effect. After that happening EVERY SINGLE TIME, she started to get it. I also helped her when she got out of the shower, towel dried her hair and combed it out etc. That's actually a memory I have from my own mom. When I got out of the shower, she'd have me come to her all snuggled in a towel and she'd help me on with pj's and towel dry my hair and comb it - I'm pretty sure she was making sure I was clean in hindsight!! It became a nice little ritual. You know? Also, when I first met SD she chewed with her mouth open and swallowed so loud you could hear it across the table! DH loves her to pieces and wanted to teach her the right things, but I would sit and eat dinner with them and be like, Are you a cow? (No offense to cows!) Close your mouth when you chew!! I guess my whole point is that for some reason the bio parents aren't teaching the skills all the way - for some reason they don't notice, and so you may have to go in and re-teach these skills AS IF YOU ARE TEACHING YOUR OWN CHILD FOR THE FIRST TIME! 10 is old enough to get it and not too old so that he might buck you or your authority... so you have time to really get in there and make a difference! Get the DH support - it will help you immensely and will help make this endeavor successful! I'm so sorry Crayon, because your DH needs to back you with Droopster... that kid would be a completely different individual if you could just get your hands into him.