You are here

ss9's behavior

smjen26's picture

Submitted by smjen26 on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 7:52pm

A few weeks ago I was doing ss9 and sd10 laundry. I didn't notice when I put the clothes in the washer or dryer but when I was folding the clothes I noticed that there was only one pair of underwear for ss9. Come to find out he had been taking a shower and putting dirty underwear back on. DH had a talk with him about it. A few days later DH went to take a shower right after ss and said he didn't think ss had used any soap. ss admitted that he hadn't been using soap or shampoo. DH said I don't know what to do other than go into the bathroom with him and make him wash but he feels like its inappropriate to help bathe a 9 year old boy. So we don't know what to do except to keep reminding him to use soap. Today I went into the bathroom and there was toilet paper with poop on it in the trash can. I asked ss9 and sd10 who did that and ss9 willingly admitted that it was him. I'm not sure why he has starting these nasty habits. Is it pure laziness or is something else going on? Or am I overreacting?? We have been having so many behavior problems with him. He is constantly in trouble at school. He recently was diagnosed with ADHD and Oppostional Defiant Disorder. He's been on medication for about a month but it doesn't seem to be doing much good. He has a lot of anger issues where bm is concerned because he feels like she doesn't want him. He's in counseling so I guess we should mention these knew behaviors to the counselor. Just not sure what to do anymore..

Comments

buttercookie's picture

Submitted by buttercookie on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 7:59pm

Feces covered tp in the garbage can? Gross. Just a suggestion, take him to pick out his own soap maybe he doesn't like yours and/or if he has a bar of his own (get a soap holder for it) he may be more apt to use it plus you can see if its being used.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 8:07pm

Good idea. Maybe Axe or one of those kinds of brands.
As for the poo paper in the trash can ... well it sounds like he likes playing with poo so he should clean all the toilets this weekend. And if you have a dog he can pick up dog poo as well for week.

RaeRae's picture

Submitted by RaeRae on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 9:17pm

My BS8 gets lazy with soap and shampoo if he runs out of 'his'.... but buy him some Axe or Old Spice, anything with a manly smell, and he looks forward to his shower. Even my 12yo son uses lotion, because it's lotion for MEN.

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 9:24pm

I agree with all the other posters you need to get him his own soap, My ss7 hated to brush his teeth or bathe but then last year for chrismas I got him a whole bathroom set in spongebob, soap, toathpaste, toothbrush, body wash. He wanted to use it because it was spongebob now I don't even have to ask him to do it he wants to.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Wed, 05/25/2011 - 10:47pm

I don't get what's going on with kids and teens these days. It has been a constant struggle with DH's kid since I met her nearly 5 years ago. She's 15 now and rarely volunteers to take a shower (she has her own soap, hair stuff, razor and shave cream). I'm always shocked when she goes in on her own. Usually DH has to "remind" her to bathe. And her toothbrush? With the exception of it's removal from the original packaging, it remains untouched by human hands.

Don't get me started on the bathroom habits. We had a bad run the last year she lived with us. Let's just say she decided to use menstrual blood as an art medium in the bathroom. After her father discussed the hygiene issue multiple times without success, I finally took the Shaman measure to stop the behavior. If I found a mess in the bathroom, I would go into her room and grab the first article of clothing I stepped on and used it to clean up the mess myself. Biggrin Yeah.....that ceased to be a problem.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 9:24am

Ditto! We DID buy Prince Hygiene his own soap, toothpaste, shampoo. NOTHING! Same soapless showers;

I think it stems from skids never being properly trained how to wash in the first place coupled by the sense that everything they do should be fun, FUN, FUN!

So just walking into the shower and playing in the water for awhile is what they WANT to do.

And god forbid if a skid doesn't do what he/she WANTS to do!!

I find that flushing, wiping and washing is strictly optional for the much acclaimed "child of divorce" (applies to anyone born after 1990)

PrincessFiona's picture

Submitted by PrincessFiona on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 9:56am

How is it that parents don't teach basic hygiene to their kids???? I would be mortified if my kids where going to someone's house and not wiping, flushing, washing hands, bathing. Many people today just lack in the parenting department.

My SD used to not wipe herself, not change her clothes and not bath regularly. How do I know this? because she also doesn't flush or put the seat down when done. And her under clothes show the results of it ! And she would STINK !

I had to bring it to DH's attention who then had to bring it to both SD and BM's attention. How embarassing?

It's just anther example of parents who would rather have thier kids grow up without basic life skills because they can't possibly hurt their feelings by pointing out these things.