I decided to take action and do something easy. Like really easy to follow so I know me and DH can stick to it. All I did was buy nesquick chocolate and strawberry milk mix from the store when I was shopping and drew their names on a white board and explained the house rules. They will get a smiley face for a job wel done or good behavior and a sad face for bad behavior or messy rooms, breaking the rules etc.

Things are greatly improving. The morning goes so much smoother. They really want those smileys man! And they know better than to ask for them, but I can hear them saying to each other "no, if u do that then you might get a sad face!" Sd8 actually makes her bed. Usually clothes, books, crayons, whatever is all over her bed in the morning, not sure why, but i don't accept that lol. She seemed happy making her bed and I didn't have to ask her to do it, so awesome. She was low key when she came home from school too.
Today overall was a good day.

I can see this sticking long term. Rewards work. I don't really know the logistics of it yet. Like how many sad faces keep you from getting the reward, or maybe if one sad face cancels out a happy face and they have to have a certain amount of happy faces left over at the end of the night to be able to get the reward.
And maybe if one or all of the kids are good all week then they get a slightly bigger prize.

Cool. Something that doesn't take too much effort, DH can follow, and my sanity is holding on this week feeling good.