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Bedroom arrangements???

live.fate's picture

I thought I had our bedroom arrangements figured out (and even had the rooms mostly set up) but DH told me this morning he doesn't agree with them. SS and DD are the exact same age, soon to be four, DD lives with us full-time, SS spends 1-3 nights a week here (complicated rotating schedule), and DH and I are expecting our first (and only) bio in the next few weeks, who is a boy.

We only have 3 bedrooms, my thought was DD should get the smallest room to herself since she's the oldest child that will live here full-time, DS will sleep in the bedroom with DH and I until he sleeps through the night, then him and SS will share the larger bedroom.

DH thinks DS should get the smallest room as he is a baby, and that DD and SS should be the ones to share a room because they are close in age and get along great.

I find this arrangement a bit weird as SS and DD are different genders and not biologically related. Plus we tried it already when we had a smaller place and it didn't work at all, DH just ended up letting SS fall asleep watching TV and then co-slept with him on the couch every night he was there, he never once even tried to get SS to sleep in the room properly. Since moving DH has been sleeping in the larger bedroom with SS, I want this to stop, I doubt it will because DH is not on board, but at least if SS and DS share a room DH will be sleeping in the room with both his sons and not be giving preferential treatment to SS.

Thoughts?

MdMom's picture

Agreed!

In my state after a certain age Siblings of different gender (related or not) CANNOT share a bedroom. My SIL's BM just got her kids temporarily taken from her for having SIL's SD 4 and SS 6 share a room... Of course she was warned, but didn't change anything.

Like another OP stated, figure out a way to divide the larger room until the DS & SS are big enough for bunk beds.

QueenBeau's picture

I think either arrangement will work out fine honestly. Neither is ideal, but neither is dreadful like some of the situations I read on here lol!

zerostepdrama's picture

More importantly your DH needs to stop co sleeping with SS when he is there.

IslandGal's picture

Yup!! Agree with this ^^! Your DH should be sleeping with YOU - his son should be learnng to sleep on his own.

luchay's picture

LMAO - OP IS the Mum of DD.... SS is the step child....

That said I agree with you.

live.fate's picture

The responses seem really divided on here, I think because neither situation is ideal, but neither is horrible. There's a room in the basement that could be a bedroom later on, I'd just like all the kids nearby while they are still young. For the first few months DS will be sleeping in a playard beside my bed, so for now SS and DD will continue to have their own rooms. Depending on their sleeping habits at that point may determine who gets to share and who gets there own.

onthefence2's picture

I'm shocked at the responses in favor of your husband's idea. SHOCKED. I think it is ludicrous. I would never in a million years put two unrelated children of opposite sex in the same bedroom.

AllySkoo's picture

I dunno, I think you're right that none of the solutions are ideal. For myself, I think I'd put the baby in his own room and have the toddlers share. I have a 4 year old and 20 month old twins, and I would NEVER leave the 4 year old alone in a room with the babies overnight! One, they still wake up and the last thing I need is a cranky 4 year old who didn't get enough sleep because he was up in the middle of the night. Two, the 4 year old (despite repeated warnings) WILL try to "help" the one year olds out of their cribs if they start saying, "Up? Out?" And then I've got babies who take all the clothes out of their dressers, the wipes out of the box, etc etc etc. Eventually the 4 year old will share a room with his 1 year old brother, and my 1 year old daughter will have the smaller bedroom to herself, but definitely not now!

For what it's worth, when SD - who's 17 - sleeps at our house, she gets the 4 year old's room and he cosleeps with us. Just like your situation, it's not ideal, but it's what works for us. Smile