Downward modification of CS in New York - has anyone had any luck?
My BF and his ex-wife/BM have an Agreement regarding CS that was incorporated, but not merged, into the Divorce Order. My BF pays CS for his 2 children (SD15 & SS12) as follows: (1) FREE RENT for BM to live in BF's 2br rental house (for which he only receives $700/mo. credit in lieu of CS), and (2) approx. $750/mo. ON TOP OF THAT to BM via. payments to her. It is also important to note here that they literally share 50/50 joint legal & physical custody (we have skids living with us 3-4 days alternate weeks) and also it's important to note that BM has NO car payment expense (BF also bought BM a brand spanking new car for which he made ALL car payments for 4 yrs.) and NO car insurance payment expense (BF paid her car insurance for 3 yrs.) on top of that!! Here in NY, a 2br house costs WAY more than $700/mo. to rent - meaning BF is losing about +/- $500/mo. in rent that he COULD be collecting from an "outside" tenant. He made this agreement with BM over 6 years ago during their Separation Agreement negotiations (and even then, the rent for a 2br house in NY was more than the measly $700/mo. credit in lieu of child support he received) and has never increased her rent. Last year, BF sent BM a letter stating that in 60 days, her rent for the house would be increasing (to an amount that was STILL BELOW market value) and that she could either agree to change their agreement reducing his child support OR pay him by cash or check monthly for the difference. She not only was (and still is) unappreciative for him giving her the cheapest rent in NY history, but she REFUSED to pay him for the increase!! I'm thinking: (1) doesn't he have the right to take her to District Court (as a landlord/tenant matter) to ENFORCE his right to increase the rent as he deems necessary?!? Will he be successful? and (2) what will be his chances of having his CS reduced by the Family Court if he files a downward mod. petition due to this unfair discrepancy? It is also important to note that when he made this original Agreement, it was just to help her "get on her own 2 feet" until she established her independence, own income and was NEVER intended for her to be a "tenant for life"!! He didn't even require her to pay ANY security deposit!! The other thing that makes me sick is the living arrangements at BM's 2 br house...the skids are 1 girl & 1 boy, and when they separated they were younger (9 & 6), so BM had them sharing a bedroom. Well, to this day, THEY STILL SHARE THE SAME BEDROOM!!! A 15 YEAR OLD TEENAGE GIRL AND A 12 YEAR OLD BOY!! Eewww! All because she is too cheap to find a larger place (why spend her OWN money by giving the skids a normal living arrangement with separate bedrooms when she can live for FREE at BF's rental house?). I am disgusted by this...wouldn't the court see this as unhealthy, too? It borders on child abuse, I think. It would be one thing if the 2 skids were the SAME SEX...that would be FINE (my sister & I shared the same bedroom and I was raised in an 8 child family with only a 4 bedroom house - you do the math) - but even my poor lower middle class parents NEVER EVER had kids of the opposite sex in their teen years sharing the same bedroom! Isn't there something totally dysfunctional about that, or is it just me?? YUCK!! One more important thing to note: since 6 years has gone by, BM has earned some kind of nursing license in NYS (LPN?) and is pursuing her RN, meanwhile my BF has no post-secondary education or degree BUT their incomes are different. BF now makes about $90K/yr. & BM purposely underemploys herself (translation: goes to work part-time whenever she gets the urge because she "doesn't like her job" at the nursing home as per SS12) and maybe makes no more than $25K - $30K/yr. (I'm totally guesstimating that amt.). This is so frustrating!! BM is healthy, has the skids only 3 days/wk., and refuses to work full-time, but yet BF STILL HAS TO PAY HER CS (since he would be deemed the "non-custodial" parent for purposes of CS in NY because he makes more $ than her) !!! Can ANYONE help with this? PLEASE, if anyone out there has had ANY experience with downward mod. in NY courts (good or bad), please reply!!
I live way across the other
I live way across the other side of the country so I don't know the laws of New York but I can tell you a few things.
1)"...she REFUSED to pay him for the increase!! I'm thinking: (1) doesn't he have the right to take her to District Court (as a landlord/tenant matter) to ENFORCE his right to increase the rent as he deems necessary?!?"
No he can't enforce because of their divorce agreement says for her to live rent free in his 2 bedroom place. I don't know what you mean by CS was incorporated but not merged. Wages aren't garnished? But yes, he can ask for a CS modification based answer to number 2.
2)"... 1 girl & 1 boy, and when they separated they were younger (9 & 6), so BM had them sharing a bedroom. Well, to this day, THEY STILL SHARE THE SAME BEDROOM!!! A 15 YEAR OLD TEENAGE GIRL AND A 12 YEAR OLD BOY!!"
In my state this would be grounds to lose 50/50 custody but some states say no way. That parent loses all custody until remedied. Definite grounds for more custody or force move which would modify CS and rent out the place she's been living in.
3)"BM purposely underemploys herself (translation: goes to work part-time)...."
CS is determined by someones earning potential at full time. I don't know if the courts calculated it this way or not but regardless its been 6 years. It's due time for the CS plan to be revised.
Exactly, Cruella! You hit
Exactly, Cruella! You hit the nail right on the head. That's exactly how I see it - she has it made and STILL WANTS MORE!! Her "entitled" attitude is exactly how the skids are turning out also. They are all so screwed up and this situation with BM living at that house for free for all these years just eats at me sometimes...unless, of course, I'm too busy WORKING 80 HOURS A WEEK to be able to have time to think about it :)!!
You really need to find a
You really need to find a lawyer that does free consultations, because that is a mess.
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
Tell me about it, Melis.
Tell me about it, Melis. I've tried talking to BF about taking her back to court, but he always says that he's afraid he'll spend an arm and a leg on legal fees - and may LOSE in the end & he doesn't have the $$ because he's too busy working to pay to support 2 houses - our house (with my help, of course) and HERS!! Attorneys fees here in NY are astronomical - and can't get free legal counsel without proving that you're dirt poor (which although we aren't on paper, we certainly ARE by the time we're done paying CS & to support the skids the 3-4 days/week we have them on top of that!!!). Thanks for listening everyone. If ANYONE has had any experience in handling a Downward Modification petition in Family Court in NY, please chime in!! Please!
Even if you don't hire a
Even if you don't hire a lawyer, can't you at least get a free consult to answer some of these questions? It seems to be unusual circumstances.
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
Children that age cannot
Children that age cannot share a bedroom anywhere unless , they are the same gender (which their not) the mother can share with the daughter of course.
It's his EX-WIFE, she owns HALF in NYS. On property if they owned it while married.
IF he bought the property after the divorce,that's a different story, I would think.
He should do what ever he feels is necessary for the well being of his children, financially and what he earns and can afford.
Remember, if this is a FIRST Marriage( divorce), and Children born to him before other's ( new children) they take ( oldest) presidence over any other children born in other marriages or relationships.
CS goes by any earnings of BOTH parties. full time and part time.(these days)
NYS has a child support calulator on the web, He should put in his income, 2 children and it will give him, the correct amount he should be paying, and I would go by that amount, (its updated yeary).
otherwise, consult a lawyer.
Check your local child
Check your local child support office regarding CS mods. The link is below.
https://newyorkchildsupport.com/DCSE/LocalChildOffices.do
I stand corrected. There is no law on opposite sex blood siblings sharing a bedroom unless they're in a foster home, returned from a foster home, or other justifiable cause. For the rest of us they're just guidelines. Check with DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) or CPS for a bonafide answer in your area. This does not mean your boyfriend can't push the issue...ie...if his ex can afford a place that can provide his kids their own rooms or she can change living arrangements in her current residence. First, he should encourage his ex before firing all guns by getting legal involved.
Keep in mind that your boyfriend and his ex had this agreement years before and he complied. If he doesn't see much of a problem then he probably won't do anything. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. You simply can't make him do it and he might push you away if you get too involved in his business. I've been there done that got burned.
For kicks I punched your
For kicks I punched your figures into a support calculator-he would have to pay about 1900 montly in c.s. So if he goes to court he needs to be aware his c.s could actually go up! He can take the chance they will lower it but once you open that can of worms it can go up too.
Hey kidsaplenty - thanks for
Hey kidsaplenty - thanks for looking into our figures "just for kicks". Isn't that wonderful the way that works out? That's exactly why BF is too afraid to go back to court to fight for himself!! He's afraid to "shoot himself in the foot". I swear I'll lose it if we are court-ordered to pay BM's lazy ass one more cent than we already do!
So basically, BF & I will continue to work hard to better ourselves...and as we do so, we'll be dragging her lazy, underemployed ass with us wherever we go. Why is it that she benefits (is even encouraged by NYS) here - to just sit home as she sees fit while we financially have to support her household and ours?!?! AAAHHHH!! It's so hopeless. We have 50/50 custody with her!!! This makes absolutely NO sense! Am I crazy?