^^^^^LOVE~LOVE~^^^^^ This post!

I am bipolar. I am also a stepmom. The term bipolar comes up alot on this site and i feel the need to speak up this time. The only way to enable bipolar disorder is to knowingly allow someone who suffers from the disease to not take their medication, not have a regular sleep schedule and to drink alcohol or cafeine. There are times of the year that my medication does not work effectively - a little like a seasonal affective disorder, when the seasons chance i usually have a "break through" of symptoms. Its not something i can control and i have to go through my life hiding my disease because people do not understand it. Its painful to hide an illness that i struggle with from people close to me, who should be my support network. Bipolar disorder is not a personality disorder or flaw. It is a disease. My brain does not regulate the levels of dopamine and serotonin that it produces, this creates extreme highs and lows in mood. The medicine that I take puts a cap, so to speak, on the dopamine and serotonin levels that my brain produces. It is a medical illness that is manifested in a non physical way. Just as a diabetic has to check their insulin levels, has an ongoing, serious illness, and has to modify their lifestyle so do i. the only differnce is that a diabetic has the sympathy and understanding of friends, employers, organizations and teachers. i am stigmatized for being born with an illness that effects me in ways that i cannot control. a bipolar child needs more support, more understanding, and yes, more forgiveness than a normal child. There is also a difference between the management of the illness and parenting. I was diagnosed at 16 and since then my mother stopped parenting and started managing my illness. I needed to be parented as well. You must do both, just as if the child was diabetic. If you would not give a diabetic child sugar and not check their insulin levels, then you should not subject a bipolar child to high levels of stress and give them caffeine. The illness is terribly misunderstood and too often the patient is blamed. With family support, an excellent psychiatrist, and the appropriate medication a bipolar child can grow up to be, well, a happily married woman in her third year of college, stepmother to a beautiful child who she mothers and loves, with many friends, a close relationship with her family and inlaws, who is well traveled and speaks two languages fluently. It is not our fault that we have an illness, and we can be quite exceptional individuals.

"With family support, an excellent psychiatrist, and the appropriate medication a bipolar child can grow up to be, well, a happily married woman in her third year of college, stepmother to a beautiful child who she mothers and loves, with many friends, a close relationship with her family and inlaws, who is well traveled and speaks two languages fluently. It is not our fault that we have an illness, and we can be quite exceptional individuals."

Absolutely! I think what Alison12345 was trying to get across is that many times these kids (kids with mental health issues) don't recieve the appropriate care from the Bio's. It sounds as though you did to a great degree, (though you do state that you missed having a mother to parent you) and that you have benefitted from that upbringing. That can not be said of many SK's here. Many of them are merely given the title of some form of illness as a reason for the parents to NOT parent proactively.

In my case, a 23 yr. old with a PD that is genetic and environmental. Yes, she was born with issues BUT, the way she was raised did not help her situation. Because of this, she is unable to be a fully functioning, respectable, and contributing member of society. She was given an excuse which she uses as her mantra. This makes it easy for the parents to NOT do their job. Enter me.... not going to put up with BS drama. Not going to allow her to use that excuse. This will make me the bad guy and the scapegoat. I then will have BM's around the world giving me a rash of sh*t and accusing me of being the evil step-monster. Not fair and I call foul. THEY (her parents or other family members) can deal with HER whatever way THEY want. I will deal with her on MY terms and I will not be told that by doing so I am being a misery sucking so and so. (Can't remember what 'Steppininit' or whetever her name is called us.) I will treat the young woman with respect but, I will not be her doormat under any circumstances.

I'm glad that you didn't allow your illness to stunt your growth as a person and I'm glad that your mom did such a good job, obviously.

We have a girl, SD17, who was on ADHD medicines from second grade. We took her to regular doctor visits once she came to us to live, around age 11, Her mother abandoned her in a psychiatric hospital. We saw behavioral issues with her. We did the 'cut her some slack' or 'she's got abandonment issues' and we got her to another doctor. Doctors are all too willing to prescribe medicines and diagnose a disorder of some sort, whichever one happens to be the most popular at the time. ADD, ADHD, ODD, Bi Polar, BPD the list goes on...

Over the summer break we, along with a doctor, stopped her medicines. Filling a kid up with amphetamines daily, or lithium, or anti psychotics and sedatives is not good if the issues are behavioral rather than medical. The reality was that there was absolutely NO difference with or without the medicine!

What we have, in reality, is a girl who is way more intelligent than others her age, very strong willed, very defiant with authority, and who will not tolerate other people's crap! Now we just need to get her to 'moderate' how she deals with people and she'll be one hell of an attorney, or CEO...or anything she puts her mind to becoming.