SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP.........
Not to be dramamtic-but here I am another Friday night by myself. Dh is at work(all night) and all I have is a glass of wine and a bunch of regrets. What I am doing here? I went into my Sd room and found a picture of my Dh and his former family-it made me sick to my stomach. I don't know what I am doing here-three years of marriage and I still fill like an outsider. The kids are with their "real mom"and my Dh is at work which the kids aren't here if he is at work and again I am all alone. We fight all the time about his kids. Christmas eve his family (his sister in law) got pissed because the kids were at the BM house and he didn't want his ex to interact with his family-(he was working and I was out of town)his sister in law called his ex wifes house and wanted to know why they weren't able to come to his parents house for Xmas eve. The Sd 14 then called her Dad and asked if her BM sister could take her over to my DH house and hang out while the SD's open presents. WTF has everyone lost their minds? I am for real losing it-help please?
Thanks
Cruella,don't you ever feel like giving up on the Sm role? I am 29 years old-I have no life-he doesn't either. I just feel like everything I have done for his SD's is completely unimportant. I have sacrificed so much my youth for one- I feel really isolated and alone right now-it's hard to talk to people about these things. I have found that either I get mad because they have no idea where I am coming from or judge me and say I am a horrible person. I am so sick of being being judged.
It is outstanding that you
It is outstanding that you put your foot down. I am sorry it came to such an extreme step though.
My ex and I came to that step. Only it became physics at that point. I packed my bags, I got in the car and he begged me to stay but once an object is in motion, it will stay in motion unless acted on by an outside force. Well there was no outside force. I got on a plane and landed here.
Looking back, I felt devastated and was too proud to give it another try and felt deep remorse but also knew that I was so ANGRY that I had to leave before he would listen to me.
Same thing Cuella. He wouldn't get a job. He let me support him completely but couldn't do the same for me in return.
As I compose this I am thinking ... I should have thrown his stupid computer out in the rain. THAT would have made him listen too. Oh well. I am richer now 6 years later than I was with my ex.
I hope this year is better for you Cruella.
"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire
"A witty saying proves
"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire
You are not alone
It has to be normal if more than two people feel the same sometimes right?
So even when you feel like you are the only one, you are not. I often ask myself if I am doing the right thing but someone on this website once said that at the end of the day, it is just you and your DH. The kids have to leave the nest one day (even if they try to hang on, it is essential for all children to grow up and have them move onto their own lives) and you and DH will be putting your teeth next to each other on the bathroom counter.
Try to remember why you fell in love with this man and try to remain cordial with his extra "perks". Surely you have a few "perks" of your own
Enjoy your red wine and pamper yourself when you are alone. It helps to love yourself.
"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire
ditto
Sometimes I feel insane. Where did I go? Who am I? What deal did I make with the devil when I had too much red wine? I vented like a maniac last night to a friend with a compassionate ear. I heard myself saying, "I can't take this anymore, I don't want to live this way, sometimes I think I should leave and be on my own". But I love my husband, he is the one for me, (well a little more cash could be nice...) I don't really want to run away and throw it all to the sea. What I need is to find my peace, my balance and make myself a priority. This advice has been given to me so many times, I'm going to pass it on to you. Make yourself a priority.
And don't worry about that picture. It would have made me quiver to the bone too, but experts say it is good to allow the kids to have pictures of their parents etc. Don't look at it, and slowly make some memories of your own with the skids, placing those pictures in a prominent place in your home.
Again, you are NOT ALONE