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Sweet DH. Plus some TMI medical

CBCharlotte's picture

Submitted by CBCharlotte on Wed, 08/02/2017 - 1:16pm

Although I'm happy with the good news from the biopsy, I still don't feel free. It is really a when, not an if, I get cancer. This is twice in 8 months something has come up, and it will just keep coming up. I am facing a double mastectomy and hysterectomy and I'm only 30....horribly invasive and disfiguring, plus I won't be able to have children and will go into menopause. I'm not ready for that quite yet, but everything has been weighing on me.

I talked to DH about it since he said I've still seemed extra stressed and he was very supportive. Then today, I got these beautiful flowers delivered to my work https://imgur.com/a/sz4be

The card read "We're together in sickness and health...I love you babe - last night when you came home you made my heart skip - time for some serious flowers"

It did make my day. I know I need to stop worrying about things I can't control, but it is hard. I feel like this dark cloud is always there, waiting for me around the corner. My mom was diagnosed at 38 so I just feel like the clock is ticking.

It also doesn't help that I've A LOT of discomfort and some pain in my n!pple (not at the incision site, but almost behind the n!pple). Then yesterday A red, itchy, uncomfortable rash took over my right bre@st and chest. I sent a pic to my oncologist surgeon and she said it shouldn't be related to the surgery and is dermatological. She said the pain and discomfort is expected since the were inside doing surgery...I guess now that I am more than a week out it is healing, but uncomfortable and still inflamed. I had to use gauze to cover the incision site, and I used that white medical tape. Well, I had a reaction to that and it ripped layers of skin right off, so now that hurts too. The whole area is generally angry with me LOL, I just want to work from home and sit around with nothing on. Maybe Friday I will! If the rash is still there tomorrow, I'm going to go to the walk in appt at my primary care doctor's office....I can't take the itching anymore! The benadryl cream I'm using isn't helping enough, and taking the pills knock me out, I can only take at night.

(Using edits for words since I'm at work and we have auto-sensors that pick up and block stuff)

Comments

moeilijk's picture

Submitted by moeilijk on Wed, 08/02/2017 - 2:15pm

Two dear friends of mine have recently been dealing with breast cancer. One finished radiation and chemo and it was successful, and she was just in for a 6 month check and all is still clear. She has 6 yo and 8 yo boys.

Another went through 3 months of fairly intensive radiation and chemo which was not successful. She was very tense and upset when she was told she must have a masectomy. But one day, about two days before surgery, she said it became clear to her that it was time to deal with this illness and move on with her life. She had surgery on a Friday, and on a Sunday fulfilled her plan to walk with friends to raise funds for breast cancer research. She said she had never walked more slowly in her life, but she wanted to support those who helped her so badly.

Since then she's joked about what to do when you get to the grocery store and realize you left your boob at home! So, a super-positive attitude, but not without struggles.

You're getting checked regularly, so your chance of detecting cancer very early is very high. When it's detected, it will be treated, and if the treatment isn't successful, you'll take the next step.

Wherever you are in your life, you'll make the best choice. I know you'd love to have a baby. But if you can't, there are lots of babies out there for whom you can make a difference. Even just volunteering holding crack babies. I know you don't want to be dealing with cancer when you have a baby or small children. It's scary. But if that's what you live through, then you'll be so happy to live through it.

It's easy to borrow trouble. It's the planful, prepared, perfectionistic side of resourceful and creative people gone a little too far.

Of course there is something to worry about, you just don't have to worry about it NOW.

notasm3's picture

Submitted by notasm3 on Wed, 08/02/2017 - 3:18pm

Could you do the mastectomy now and hysterectomy later (post baby if that's your choice)? I know multiple women who have had double mastectomies because of breast cancer concerns. There are great reconstruction processes these days.