I like to hear the truth & what other people think. I like when they agree, so I know I'm not crazy - BUT when they don't I think I need to be told that I AM being crazy. Lol

The truth - good, bad, & ugly.

I think "the truth" here is often used an excuse to attack people and say horrible things to them.

If a friend asks me what I think of her dress and I don't like it, I can tell her just that, "I don't like it; it's just not my cup o' tea." End.

There is certainly a mean girls club on this forum who would say something more along the lines of, "What in GOD's name were you thinking? Are you blind!?!? On second thought, no, just wear it; it's not the dress making your butt look big, you actually just have an enourmous @$$!" It's very RA; once one of them starts, several others jump in, as well.

But hey, it was the truth, right? :sick:

Truth definitely. If I'm being a little nuts I'd want someone to tell me. Don't want to end up like those I'm moaning about!

Most want the truth. HOWEVER...when the truth is throw at you in an aggressive, holier than thou, rude, mean, condescending way...it does not go over well. And that happens on this site A LOT!!

In this context, the 'truth' is relative. What may be one person's truth may not be another's. KWIM?

I'm looking for insight from someone who's been there and done that.
I'm looking for reassurance that, while my feelings might not be the nicest, they are NORMAL.
I'm looking to be talked off my ledge.
I'm looking to be able to say what I think instead of having to bite my tongue to keep the peace.
I'm all for being called out if I'm acting unreasonable.

If it means that every now and again someone I don;t know gets snippy then I really don't care!

I come here to get some insight and different perspectives.

If I only wanted someone to agree with me, then I'd just talk to myself and tell myself how brilliant I was to come up with the correct answer in the first place.

Because I'm just that good.

Truth 100%

I want validation that my annoyance is something that would annoy other people living with similar dynamics or I want to be told "askYOURdad, this is not world ending or that annoying get over yourself"

I also really like advice. I have learned so much on here from users who have been in step life longer than me, even if it hasn't always been stuff I agreed on every time, different perspectives always help. Some of my favorites: Rising, stepaside, tog, formerAA. I have also learned so much from people who have similar dynamics to mine- Ladyface, ghostwhocooksdinner, bradymom, mercury, harleygirl.

And of course, I have found some interesting characters as well. No need to name those though as everyone knows!

I look for valuable input and perspective; sometimes just a forum to vent in.

People here can be very crappy. The whole "proud to be a bitch" or "I call it like I see it" is so often used as an excuse to attack and belittle others. It's childish and immature, but don't ever call anyone on it! LOL

I will never agree with someone for the sake of agreeing, or tell them they're doing everything right when they are clearly doing things wrong. I am honest about what I think about a situation but often choose silence over stirring a pot with unhelpful input.

Also, keep in mind we obviously have limited facts. We get a couple paragraphs to sum up a situation that could clearly take volumes with history and back story. Everything here should be taken with a grain of salt and a bucket of compassion.

When I'm truly venting I just want agreement and support and I want everyone to agree that BM, exH or whoever I'm complaining about is an idiot.

Then there's other times when I'm looking for advice.

I may not agree with what everyone says when I blog, but, it has changed my mind before on my reactions. It is also made me feel like I am not crazy when my reactions to BM and SD are not what others would do. We come here because no one understands our blended lives, but the others on the board. With posting you know you have to be open to both sides of view. I would not have given my SD another chance recently if the women on here weren't encouraging. It may not have had the best outcome, but I know I tried when she didn't deserve it. Had I not seeked out advice and input, I don't think I would have been open to my husbands pleas.

We have to remember that there are always differing views and it is what you take from them, that is important, not that our feelings are hurt by someone's bluntness.

I like the truth, but there are a very few people on here who, IMO, like to put the boot in for the sake of it. That's one reason I don't post all that much any more. You can tell the truth but temper it with kindness.

I'm going to tell you the truth....not what you want to hear so your little fee-fees don't get all butt hurt if I think you are in the wrong on something...but I can also be very compassionate to you if you are having a hard time or a really shitty day....and there are alot of posters on here that I can feel sadness for,and others that need a slap of reality...

I originally came here to get a broad scope of opinion and to give mine. Now that SS is a viable self supporting adult and DW and I have moved on to our empty nester DINK have fun years I come here to share what I learned.

Tacit agreement is not helpful in working through problems and arriving at solutions. It can be supportive though which is often what people are looking for.

I want the truth as in I want to ask about something and other SMs tell me if they've ever gone through it and how they handled it. I want to know if they have any regrets handling the same situation I had so I can prevent making the same mistake. I want advice and I want my peers to tell me kindly if I'm doing something wrong. NOT just say "you're wrong" without anything else to follow because how am I going to understand I am wrong without any reasoning. I noticed a lot of time people get caught up on correcting the poster's perspective instead of giving advice. I personally feel like if your situation isn't similar to mine, I probably won't comment because I have no idea how different your world is to mine. You can't/shouldn't tell people to do something that you've never done yourself before.

I am mostly a lurker. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one going through struggles with a "blended" family. It's nice to see that there are so many others out there like me and I value the honesty and frank banter that goes on in response to the sharing. When I have shared, I have benefitted both from the empathy and the criticism, but mostly I just value the camaraderie.

I've only been a member for a day and I am looking for Truth!
I don't know anyone in my life who is in a similar situation to me. If I'm being unreasonable I want someone to tell me.
I want to know that I'm not alone and not crazy. I'm always second guessing myself and coming on here, even just for the last 24 hours, has given me so much confidence to change things in our family because people have told me the truth or opinion.
So far I haven't seen a lot of judgment. We are all just looking for truth and advice. If I wanted judgment I would go to my mother! LOL

I appreciate all the help and insights I've received on this site. It's been enormously helpful. For every "basher" comment there are dozens more of helpful ones.

Kind of like a crowd in a room - there will be people who you will connect with, who will understand your perspective and others who are far on the edges. I think most people here do provide valued insights. Of course, some of them provide it over and over again, but that's their right to do so! Perhaps it's cathartic for them. That's what this site is ultimately about.

The only thing that bugs me is when someone (usually a newbie) posts a long dilemma and asks for advice. Scores of people weigh in and spend considerable time with lots of thoughtful opinions or suggestions. But then we never hear from the original poster again! That is kind of frustrating.

Depends on each poster's personal level of sensitivity. Good luck.