GBM passed away yesterday.. what now???
So according to SD19 Facebook, GBM passed yesterday afternoon. I talked to Aunt J and apparently MIL found out that SD was in Pittsburgh.. which is where GBM was, which I did not know. I guess they airlifted her from here a couple of weeks ago and took her there for a possible heart/lung transplant, but she was not a candidate. Now, I'm not a Dr. and I don't play one on TV, but I could tell you the woman would not be a candidate... she's been an uncontrolled diabetic for years, has smoked 2 packs a day since Jesus was a baby and was obese... but whatever.
So I'm wondering what happens now? When my grandma passed she was living in Arizona with my Uncle, but she was to be buried here in my state next to my Grandpa. So the family paid to have her flown back here for the funeral etc. What the heck is the clan going to do I wonder?? Can they drive her home?? SD only got 4 donations to her GoFund me.. $500.00 from some pimp daddy college student "friend" of hers, $50 from 2 family members and $50 from her BF parents. Can they have GBM cremated in Pittsburgh and drive her ashes home that way??
I'm sure there is going to be major drama no matter what. Aunt J said that SD still has 2 weeks at college and then a week of finals but who knows when she'll go back to school??? According to SD she is doing fantastically but Aunt J said she hasn't actually seen any grades and she was only taking super easy classes anyway this semester (Remedial English, Theater, Sociology, Speech and she dropped Math because she was failing.) Next semester she will be challenged... with English 101, Math 01, Psychology, American History and Biology.... I'm scared. I can already see the writing on the wall.
Again, I feel bad for the family that they lost their mother/grandmother/daughter/sister but it will be interesting to see how SD's relationship with BM1 plays out now that grandma and grandpa BM are both gone.. because those two pretty much raised SD....certainly NOT BM. I think there is going to be major, major drama with BM now that GBM and Grandmpa BM won't be able to bail her out with their Social Security money... she's barely functioning now. Oh... and y'all will love this... Aunt found out that one of BM1's brothers who is like 45 and hasn't had a job since Lord knows when apparently called SD19 and asked if he could borrow money because he heard that she had money in the bank. WTF????
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oh boy.. it's going to be
oh boy.. it's going to be interesting to say the very least!
GBM might never get a proper
GBM might never get a proper burial then, cause they will not pay.
I know you can transport ashes yourself but not a body.... or at least not here
In my area, you have to a
In my area, you have to a have a permit to transport a body over state lines and it has to be done by a funeral service. Not sure about flights though. Local cremation would be the easiest and most affordable option.
Oh boy Daizy. Sorry to hear
Oh boy Daizy. Sorry to hear this and I do understand your future concerns of DRAMA, DRAMA drama because of spill over into your house.
Transporting a body across state lines for a viewing and funeral is very expensive because the deceased MUST MUST MUST be embalmed.
Now cremation is different. It appears to be the decision here. And each state 'where' the body is currently located has different rules AND so does the receiving state. You could call your local funeral director to ask a 'general question'. They dont mind at all.
The flight for SD 'last minute' would have cost an arm and a leg for sure. Driving home is an option---but really Daizy, call your local funeral director and ask.
SD will need proper documentation to transport and I 'trust' the funeral director/crematory that the deceased is at now will insist that the family is cared for properly.
OH boyyyy as noted above, you can have a nice gathering at your place IF you want to. Walmart has very nice luncheon trays, cold salads or your local grocery store. But Walmart would be a fraction of the cost. In contrast, We had a small group of about 20 at a local restaurant with luncheon menu including cocktails and our bill was around $1100.00 following the service.
**Her most recent social security for Dec would have went into her account. It should be protected and not reclaimed since she passed away dec 1, correct?**
IF she passed away later this month, then some of it maybe have to be given back**
Grab a glass of wine,,,things will start to heat up 'right quick'
The whole BM clan is in
The whole BM clan is in Pittsburgh.. they would have driven there as we live only about 4 or 5 hours away. SD college is fairly close as well, so my guess is someone from BM clan came to the college and got her. SD will come back here with all of them. They will all be driving back as there is NO way they could afford to fly.. no way Jose. No clue how SD will get BACK to college though after service or whatever they manage to pull off? Which is alarming.
DH will not drop a penny and neither will Aunt J. Everyone has been used and abused for money so many times now that the first bank of DH, Aunt J and MIL are securely closed. DH does NOT share my sentiments of feeling bad for them. In fact I'm not even sure he knows because I certainly didn't tell him and he didn't say anything about it so my guess is nobody has told him because they know he does not care. Kind of telling that most people apparently know their gig in that they only got 4 GoFundMe donations.
SMH.
SMH.
SMH.
SMH.
When MIL died in another
When MIL died in another state it cost $1000 to pay for the cremation and then to ship (by mail) the ashes to the funeral home local to us.
When my GrandDad died we
When my GrandDad died we tried to keep my GrandMother in their home. She was in the late early stages of dimentia and my dad worked a deal with his cousin and his wife to move in with my GM, care for her until she either passed or had to go into assisten living and upon my GM's death dad would give the home/acreage to the cousin and his wife.
The cousin's wife had cared for her own aging and infirm parents in their home and had some kind of home elder care certification so it seemed like a good way to keep GM in her home and keep their retirement home and property in the family.
That worked but not too well for about a year when we discovered that "care" pretty much was telling my GM to go make herself something to eat.
We moved her to TX near to where my parents, my brother and his family, and me and my family lived at the time.
When she passed she was cremated and sent home to MO to be buried next to my GrandDad.
A good friend of mine hauled his parents urns around in his car for years until he found a national cemetary that he liked for them. Both of his parents were WWII vets and elegable for burriel in any national cemetary. He toured dozens of cemetaries nationwide that were near National Parks. After years and years he finally settled on one.
SD can haul GBM back home in her luggage or toss her in the seat next to her in ehr car and drive her back for burial.