Because it's impossible to behave like civilized, rational adults. That would be too much to expect or ask.

DH and I were lucky enough to spend time with family this weekend and apparently, during some quality time with his brother, DH got told that BM sent a letter to MIL. Was this a gee, I hope your heart surgery went well letter? Nah. It was a "your son is the trash of the planet, he has Abondoned his daughter, she will never be able to go to college because of Him" whine whine bitch moan letter.

To her credit, MIL didn't respond or even feel the need to tell DH about this. Why his brother did, I can't say. It just amazes me that BM and SD are trying pretty much every route other than actually talking to DH! He hasn't heard from SD in monthes, not since she turned down last years Christmas invite I believe. So we have no idea what school she wants to go to, how much she's been awarded in scholarships (which I know she got because we were sent a letter by her high school) and how much help she would need to not have to take loans. No requests to fill out financial aid forms, nothing. Lets just try to get the court to make him pay and since that didn't pan out, lets degrade him to his family.

What's beyond goofy about this is that DH's family knows BM is a loon. There is no relationship with BM at all. And DH not big on listening to his family. We live a very different life than any of his family so he doesn't ask the, for advice or listen when his mother has ever tried to guilt him in the past. And there is no way DH would make a financial decision like that without me, so I don't know why she bothered to waste her time.

In other news, does anyone know of a reason why a parent figure would call potential guests 7 months before a wedding and ask them, over the phone if they were coming? No it's not a destination wedding, no invitations have not gone out, and these people won't be putting anyone up in their home.