I really wish that the BM in our life was just a little bit sane or even had a fraction of a consience, but alas, she was born socially stunted.

So, this is our first year that Christmas has finally fallen on our week and it's our year since DH and I have been together (almost five years now). Plus we saved a week, out of two weeks,of our priority vacation weeks this year to make sure that she can't use one of her weeks of standard vacation (not priority) to try and take Christmas week from us like she did last year when Christmas landed on our ween but it was here year. It was the first time that we had them for Christmas morning ever. BM called DH and told him the he needs to give her the kids on Christmas Eve (that's SD's bday and it was our year for her bday). DH of course told her no, that he wasn't going to just hand the kids over to her on his week with them on SD's bday that was also his custodial day. So what does BM do? Tries to use her week of priority vacation that year to take the kids for the entire week of Christmas. In order for us to be able to keep the kids that week DH had to threaten to use his two remaining weeks of non-priority vacation to take her two weeks leading up to Christmas, so she wouldn't of seen the kids for a month. (It's really sad that it even has to get to this point with her.) She of course freaked out and backed down. We still had to give her Christmas night (which was ours)in order to get her to stop threatening and bullying DH to get her way.

This year will be BM's first year without being able to see the kids on Christmas. (We've had to do it twice so far) and she is not liking it one bit. She has tried repeatedly to get the kids the week of Christmas, which we are willing to do AFTER Christmas. Well that's not good enough for BM. She wants the kids before Christmas so she can do presents with them first. She has already made plans with her family three times now to celebrate their Christmas during DH's week with the kids without DH knkowing or approving of anything before hand. Then she tries crying because her aunt is going to be in town and she wants the kids to see her. (Really? BM's aunt is still alive. The kids can see her whenever she wants them to on BM's time and according to DH, in the five years that he was with BM, the children saw this aunt once and apparently she's not a very nice person.) Not all to long ago DH's grandfather got sick. When we knew that he was dying we tried to take the kids to get over there (they live in another state) so that they could see him one last time (DH's family is very close). DH told BM what he wanted to do and she was fine with it. Even thought the CO states that the kids are to be exchanged on Sundays at 6 pm, they had always done it on Mondays after the kids get out of school. Knowing this, DH and I requested the time that we would need off to cover the time that we would be gone from work. About three days before we were going to leave, out of nowhere, BM decides that she is going to enforce the 6 pm drop off time on Sundays, knowing that if she did that we wouldn't be able to take the kids (neither DH or I had enough time to get more time off approved). She gave us no reasoning behind it and only enforced it that one time (DH and I know exactly why she did it. Just to be a horrible person and make DH suffer. She loves watching him hurt because of the sh!t she has done to him and loves to be able to control him). Needless to say, the kids never got to see their great grandfather one last time before he passed away. (This man used to cry everytime we left, before he got sick, because he was terrified because he didn't know whether or not he was still going to be alive when we made it back over. He loved those kids.)

So BM, you can cry all you want. Your aunt is still alive. The kids can alwasy see her whenever. And you get no sympathy from me. AT ALL. You get what you give and we're not giving up any of our Christmas time to you. None. You can just suck it up and wait until the week after like DH and I have always done or do it the week before. Those are your options.

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SD's bday is Christmas Eve. The way it usually works is that one parent has SD's bday and the other parent has Christmas. All of DH's family lives out of state. If we ever want to go and see them then we need for SD's bday to fall on the same parents year that they get Christmas. BM agreed to switching, which benefits all parties involved because the parent who has Christmas will have the kids overnight on Christmas Eve once the CO is changed and it makes since to make sure that SD's bday falls on the same parents Christmas). Because DH will be at work on Christmas Eve he told BM that she can take both of the kids to do something fun for SD's bday as long as they are back by the time he gets home from work around 3 pm. Well apparently BM's hearing is out of wack because she mistakenly thought that DH was giving her the entire day until 9 pm on Christmas Eve with the kids so she can do Christmas with them and her family. (I hate this lady. There was no confusion. She's just being a sneaky b!tch). First, since they agreed to the swap on SD's bday, it's DH's year not BMs. She doesn't just get to take the kids for SD's bday this year and gets SD next year as well. Not going to happen. AND WE ARE NOT GIVING UP ANY TIME ON OUR CHRISTMAS WEEK TO BM SO THAT SHE CAN CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS WITH THE KIDS UNTIL AFTER CHRISTMAS. That's how it is. The only reason why she wants to do it first is because she wants the excitement of the kids opening up her presents first. Who knows if we got doubles of things and I really don't want to listen to SD talk about everything that BM got her and how it's so much better then anything we got her because she idolizes her mother and she can do not wrong. And she's already gottne several Christmases that have fallen on her week and it was her year. DH and I never once interferred with her time. We followed the CO. Not going to happen. This is our first family Christmas where we're not on some kind of schedule and having to rush through that day and we'er not going to give her the opportunity to ruin it for us because she's an evil tw@t and wants what she wants when she wants it and she wants the kids to be excited for her presents and not ours.

She even went as far as to text me yesterday about taking the kids on Monday of Christmas week so she can do Christmas with them. I told her no. I put off a lot of stuff that we do for Christmas this year because we have the kids the week of Christmas and I took the week off of work so that I could spend it with the kids. What a freaking nut job. I just wanted to tell her that she should be lucky that DH even offered her anytime with the kids on Christmas week after the crap she pulled last year and to figure it our on her own time. That's what DH and I have had to do. She has never once let us take the kids on any holiday week for any amount of time.

You get what you give BM.

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BM has been trying for weeks to get me to let her take MY BD 9 on Christmas Eve because it's SD's bday. Um......are you effing nuts? Apparently, she has forgotten that she not only stalked DH but she stalked my BD when she was just 5 years old not to mention all of the other effed up stuff she has done over the past 5 years. The kids could of died in her care on more than one occasion. So no. You cannot take my child anywhere. (And this isn't the first time. Plus, I already threw a bday party for SD last month that my BD attended. We've already celebrated her bday. There is no reason for my BD to go. She has asked repeatedly over the past couple of months for my daughter to go over to her house while she has the kids or wants to take her some place that she's taking the other kids. Not going to happen. Plus it's Christmas Eve. Kids spend Christmas Eve with their families and my DH's ex-wife is not considered family regardless of what she thinks. What a freaking nut job. I actually had to explain to her yesterday via text that my BD already has plans to spend Christmas Eve with her father and his family and that it's pretty typical that kids spend the holidays with their family.

I can't wait to get the CO hammered out with her. I am so sick of all of this crap and at this point I wish DH hadn't even offered her time on Christmas Eve with the kids. She has taken his generosity (which she doesn't even deserve) and complained and cried about how it's not enough and all she wants to do anyways use it to eff DH over for Christmas when she has never offered DH anything and has used threats in the past in order to try take things such as holidays from DH. A normal person would be happy with what they get. I normal person wouldn't have forgotten all of the effed up sh!t that they've done. A normal person would be so imbarassed of thier behavior over the past 5 years that they wouldn't ask for anything.

Hopefully once the CO is finally revised, there will be no need to communicate with BM about these things other than referring her to the CO to resolve any of her questions or requests. If the CO says no, then no it is and that's just how it's going to be.

Am I the only one who sees how nuts this lady is? I know that DH sees it, but it all just really bothers me and I just want her to go away and leave us the h#ck alone unless it requires contact and her wanting to try and steal our Christmas because she's a sniveling little worm who thinks it's not fair that she can't have the kids on Christmas even though we've had to do it, doesn't count as required contact.

I hate this lady. How is it that she can do the things that she does and feels no remorse and then can't understand why DH doesn't want to work with her on anything? I mean, she's honestly shocked that DH tells her no like he's just being mean out of nowhere. How can she skate through life not realizing that she is crazy? I mean who sits outside someone's home (DH's) at 3 am and not think that there's anything wrong with doing that and that she's not stalking him? Who stalks a 5 year old and thinks that it's just a normal day like any other day and everybody does it? I just don't get it.