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Ss20 here under DH's lockdown

SteelRose's picture

Well I didn't really follow all of your advise but we did work out things with ss20. He moved into our shed. It's insulated and has power and we installed lights and a heater and rented a honey bucket for him for during the night b/c I refused to have him peeing in my yard. We moved our older hide-a-bed out there and he has hung a wool blanket over the door for extra warmth. He is allowed 3 showers a week and 2 loads of laundry. He needs to fend for himself for b'fast and lunch but can join us for our family supper meal. We lock the house at night (he used to have a bad habit of cooking at night and binge eating and right now we cannot afford that kind of food). The shed is inside our 8 foot fence and gated yard and the gate is locked at night also so he cannot have friends over. We have an alarm on the gate. DH set very firm rules and has ss20 doing things around the house like cleaning the gutters, helping with removing some trees we need taken down, etc. He is all signed up for Job Corps and it's a matter of 2-4 weeks before he gets shipped out to somewhere in the mid west!!!!!

So we'll see how long he abides by DH's strict "lock down" and we keep our sanity as parents. lol

PS, we also had ss20 buy our bedroom door a new locking knob out of his meager money to press home the point that he is the person we are keeping out of our room and we still have trust issues with him and he is still on "double probation" with us.

As much as I fought having to have him move back here, I am impressed with how DH is really busting this kids' a&& with discipline and lock down and alarms etc, but made the shed very warm and acceptable for a person to live in safely. DH really stepped up this time and I think a lot of that has to so with the fact that DH is not sick with cancer anymore.

Comments

overworkedmom's picture

At least he has a roof over his head. And its only for a few weeks and he will be gone and hopefully have the chance to do something with his life.

bearcub25's picture

Good compromise. I would have done the same, help some but make them help theirselves also. good luck.

SteelRose's picture

At this point I just feel less guilty and feel like he is at least safe. He was staying in the walmart parking lot and his last night there he had a van load of homeless guys invite him over for a party and he said they were high and drunk and carrying guns. That's why DH was freaking and all stressed. That's also why DH put alarm on our gate in case ss20 is followed or something. I know maybe too cautious, but I was scared for my boys. When ss20 lived with us two years ago someone threw a home made blow up devise into our yard, lit our one shrub on fire another night and broke in to our down stairs bathroom window another night. Ss20 has enemies out there and I can see why but I sure as hell don't want to put my own boys into harms way.