Let Me Just Get RIGHT On That
BM3 works at a daycare center about 3 blocks from our house. She generally works days and gets off somewhere around 5pm. Sometimes on Fridays she gets off earlier. You never really know what time she will get off because they cut staff based on enrollment every day. Not enough kids? BM3 gets sent home.
I work from home, and make my own schedule. It's pretty flexible. However, I also have 7 kids here. BM3 has a 13 year old son that she doesn't have custody of and SD6, who she has week on/week off. On her weeks, SD6 gets dropped off at school, but gets off the bus here with the rest of her siblings and stays here til BM3 gets off work.
Today BM3 texts me as she's leaving work to tell me that she's meeting a friend right after work for dinner, and to please have SD6 ready with her shoes and stuff on, ready to walk out the door as soon as BM gets here.
I'm in the middle of making dinner and I wasn't checking my texts, so I didn't get the message. She pulled up and came to the door and was like "Why isn't she ready? I texted you? We're meeting a friend for dinner...."
I can see it's gonna be a REAL long summer for some folks. Because, due to budget constraints, the Giving a Damn Department has been closed from May-August.
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Thank you. We actually get
Thank you. We actually get along reasonably well. She's not a bad mother, she loves her child and tries hard most of the time. The main problems we run into are that she's a bit self centered...focuses a lot on "me time" and backburners SD6 a lot of the time. And the other thing is that she tends to try to do everything last minute, and doesn't understand that with 7 kids, 2 of them VERY young, I don't jump through my ass to accommodate her spontaneous plans.
In the summer, often, BM3 gets off work early in the afternoon and depending on the weather, she loves to head out and take road trips. Ideally, she'd like to have it one of two ways, and you never know which one. Either she wants to scoop SD and head out early in the day, or she wants to leave SD here on her parenting time and head out with friends, and see her after the weekend.
This is fine, except in the summer, often we are out and about, not at home. If I'm home, I never care if BM3 just shows up at the house, gets SD6 ready, and takes her on her way. If we're not home, lots of times we're at the lake or the pool, or I'm walking next to a busy street with 7 kids, two of them babies that need very close supervision, on the way to the park or the library. I don't always answer my phone or check for texts. God forbid I'm taking the children on an outing after lunch and she gets off work and isn't able to pick SD up IMMEDIETELY. She starts blowing up DH's phone at work, demanding he track us down. It's pretty ridiculous. She knows I'll be back here no later than 5 to start dinner.
Well dontcha know, you exist
Well dontcha know, you exist just to make BM'S life convenient. And when she says jump, the only proper response is how high.
These chicks are ridiculous.
I just had to laugh at her
I just had to laugh at her today. I am right in the middle of making dinner between 5 and 6! With a HUGE baby on one hip, a 3 year old buzzing around my feet, little girls (including hers) needing help with homework....and it's wonder I'm not glued to my phone?
Only SD6 is hers, the rest
Only SD6 is hers, the rest are mine or DH's. And of course I don't get paid. Normally I would tell her to pound salt, but I don't want SD6 in daycare and neither does DH. That's where she picked up that "squeaky wheel" behavior. Since her mom works at the daycare, she experiences NO consequences while she is there. She basically has adult spousal status with her mom. It's pretty sad. So I make sure she's her as much of the time as possible, partly because it's good for her, and partly because it sets the precedence that she spends the majority of time here. In case BM and DH ever can't agree. Which you know is inevitable. Unfortunately I've learned you gotta cover your ass in these situations.
Yes, and while 2 out of the
Yes, and while 2 out of the three are complete and total wastes, I don't blame them. They're career welfare, and masters at duping the system and everyone around them.
I BLAME DH. He is an intelligent and rational human being that thought he might turn a ho into a housewife. You can't turn a ho into a housewife. It's like trying to make a lapdog from a Hyena. It's all fun and games till your former forearm is just a bloody stump.
LOL! I would tell BM that you
LOL! I would tell BM that you work on your schedule not hers. That you don't check your phone regularly and you are not going to start. Just because your plans for the day change doesn't mean mine have. I can not stop doing what I'm doing and change my schedule to match your. So leave sd till 5pm or put her in daycare where you work. Then sd will be there when your ready to go home.
I understand her wanting to pick sd up when she wants too. Sounds like BM3 is to immature to see it from your perspective. Maybe you should invite her over to watch all 7 and take them some where then call her and change plans right in the middle and see how she likes that. lol. Its kinda like leave DH for a week a home alone with kids and him doing everything you do . No going to happen.LOL
Exactly! I don't mean to be a
Exactly! I don't mean to be a jerk, but she is REALLY immature at times. She has a son the same age as my son, and her son lives with his father, who is in the military. That boy's dad has denied her visitation because she refuses to go by the parenting plan and purchase tickets/notify him on the correct timeline. It's so ridiculous.
Sometimes I feel like saying, "You know I don't mind helping out, and this is SD's home, so she's always welcome here, but some of us have custody of ALL of our children, and have to put parenting ahead of fun happy lala play time. I can't always jump through my ass so you can hurry up and squeeze some play in instead of parenting your kid appropriately."
SD6 constantly has problems focusing in school and behaving, and it's really consistent in that it's on BM's time. It's no wonder, because there is no consistency there at all. It's so frustrating. It especially pisses me off that I'm actually parenting my kids and she expects me to just drop what I'm doing whenever she beckons.