Update on SKs on vacation.
They are home. SO asked them yesterday to go to eat with him for his birthday. They said no. Today he asked them to come down to have some food on the grill they said no. SS then called and asked to be taken somewhere and SO stopped what he was doing and did it. He said this it not how I wanted to be able to see SS but what can he do. He said this is how it works for a divorced dad. I am sad for him and I am so angry at him for how he acts.
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He said this is how it works
He said this is how it works for a divorced dad.
No, that's how it works for a guilt ridden dad's, who let their kids call the shots and walk all over them. He is teaching them how to treat him. They can treat him like crap and still get what they want from him. This will carry on to their other relationships, also, so good parenting.
I understand that parents want to see their kids, and I know it's hard, but at some point, sacrifices have to be made to teach these kids some things. Jumping when they snap their fingers is not the way.
I would be so disgusted.
I would be so disgusted.
I'd be pissed
The Disney land dad I used to deal with was like this
Custody schedule highly unstructured which is cool If men (as single men living alone) want to inconvenience themselves running a 24/7 b*tch beck n call service bc they're wallowing in guilt and pitty BUT I ain't sign up for sloppy schedules, demanding skids who think they run me/my spouse around ragged, and coparenting chaos.
I am just a at loss anymore.
I am just a at loss anymore. None of it makes sense to me. He believes this is all he can do to at least see his kids at this point. SS has his permit now and it practicing driving. SO said soon all there will be is him watching SS play sports. SS won't need him at all. But that is not true because with travel sports SS will still need a parent to go because they still have to an adult .
Dup
Duplicate
Oh hell no.
He said this is how it works for a divorced dad.
It only works that way for divorced dads with no balls who are failed men, failed parents, and failed mates.
Who wants that kind of partner?
SS then called and asked to
Um no. .....That's how it works for someone who is scared of their kids, someone who has no authority to lead their own kids, someone who lets their kids use them bc kids know who they can pushover
By blaming the divorce it absolves him from responsibility
It's also a lie he tells himself and you so that he doesn't have to change because it's "the divorce" that's doing this.
Can I ask whether your
Can I ask whether your husband is asking these things of them at the last minute/same day? If so, it's understandable that they had plans. Like.. if yesterday was his birthday and that's when he tried to make plans.. or asking today to come over for a grilled meal.
BUT.. if it wasn't dad's visitation time.. and he had plans to grill out today.. then he should have reminded his son that he had plans already.. mom would have to give him that ride.
The SKs were told earlier in
The SKs were told earlier in the week that SO wanted to go to dinner with them for his birthday when they got home. There is no custody schedule and since they don't stay with us there isn't even certain nights that are his. He so bad wanted to see his kids that he jumped at the chance to drive him so he could seem him.
Yeah, this pitiful guy has no
Yeah, this pitiful guy has no visitation time because he started letting BM and the skids dictate when and how he interacts with them a long time ago. It's not always like that for divorced dads. He could have enforced the custody schedule, which i'm sure he paid a lawyer to have written out and i'm sure he pays BM child support for. It honestly sounds like it's too late now. This is life with him.
Yeah.. I thought there was
Yeah.. I thought there was some kind of order schedule.. but that her SO had allowed his EX and the kids to decide to not follow it. I agree, at this point.. he can't change his particpation without backlash from them.. and he isn't willing to cut the cord with his kids.. so will step up to do what they ask for a crumb of time.
I agree that this is likely a take it or leave it situation for OP.
I am probably going to have
I am probably going to have to leave it. He will not allow me to disengage.
Rocky,
Rocky,
When will he become worthy of you as his partner? When are you going to demand that he comply with the standards you require of your partner and tolerate nothing less?
If you do nothing, nothing changes.
WTF do you mean "He will not allow" you to disengage? He does not own you. You are not his ass sniffing minion. He is the ass sniffer. He sniffs kid ass and has no balls that are in any way discernable as a man, as a partner, or as a father. He sniffs the asses of his baggage and demands that you join him. He will not allow (you) to disengage.
Enough of that crap!
You owe yourself far more than to continue to tolerate this failed individual and all of his failed family baggage in your life.
You said I am probably going to have to leave it. I advise the indicated edits and related immediate actions.
Move on to living your best life. That can't happen if he or any of his baggage are present in your life.
IMHO of course.
Take care of you.