I am not afraid of him hurting my physical or doing anything financially.  It will be all mental. Him saying mean things about me and then trying to telll me he has done so much changing and so on. Then he will end up crying. I just don't want the song and dance. We can never have grown up conversations. 

SO is scrambling to make the appointment for the therapist now. It is because I told him this life isn't for me. He of course isn't understanding it. I said I don't want this life. I let him know there is nothing he can do to change it. I point blank told him I don't want someone with kids and and ex in their lives. I said I don't expect you to give up your children I want out. I told him it isn't even all about that major dysfunction it is that he has extreme OCD. I told him I don't want his stress anymore. It went on and on and he doesn't get it. There at least was no yelling and fighting. I  will let him have his appointment and then when have the couples counseling I will tell him in front of a third party that his life is not for me. 

SO appointment is made but still two weeks away. At that point it will be almost two months since I saw her. If she didn't take good notes she won't remember me and he might be able to manipulate her. Whatever I suppose..  BM is texting every single day again because of SS having no friends.  Yesterday was I dropped him off at the batting cage you can pick him up.  SO was working late so all he said was I am still working.  If he weren't working he would have gladly picked him up . To make her happy and to be disrespected by SS for 10 minutes.If he was any kind of asap his answer would have been I am not going to run everytime you ask me so I would appreciate if you stop with this and that SS knows he can text me and I have told him I need advance notice. I get he can't "make" BM stop texting but he can be blunt about it. He never will and it is so unattractive.

SO is on his I hate work kick again. He had to work late two nights. This is what his job is he has done it for 30 years. He is getting anxiety over it and I know it is because he can't make all of SS games.  

I am going to rant but no one has to read it I just have to put it somewhere. So did the call me  at 3 and I ignored it because I didn't want to hear what I already knew he was doing then he called at 4:30 when the game would have ended. I didn't answer again. Remember I am also at work when he is calling.  He text a few minutes later saying he tried to call. I text that is was busy and getting ready to leave work. He called again and i didn't answer because I was getting in my car and the Bluetooth is just a pain when that happens I mean I know he was calling to tell me he was waiting for SS to get back from the other school so he could drive him to BMs. He called again and I picked up. He said exactly what I know he was going  to say and then wanted to go on about the bus being late. I said okay i am home see you when you get here, no nasty tone . He then called right back and said why did you get off the phone so quick. I said I need to go in and walk the dog. Another point of contention with me because it is his dog and it must be walked in order for it to do it business. Yes you will say let him do it. I don't want poop and or pee in the house so I have made the choice I have to. But what is weird I am okay with doing it if he is working but if he is running that child around it pisses me off. SO says sorry you have to do that are you mad at me for something .  I said in a nice tone no I just need to get in the house and get stuff done.  I just want to scream and say I don't give a rats arze about you and your a.hole kid. I don't know if I can hold out until we can do the couples therapy. I told him I would give him at least that opportunity but it is relentless. I know that people will say disengage but how can you disengage from that kind of a person. Ugh. Sorry