Just a little vent
You all know my story with SD60 who has stolen, lied, manipulated and made trouble for years. Nowadays, I grayrock her so we have a civil and polite relationship.
She came over today to bring something and stayed for awhile so I naturally hid my purse. To me, it was obvious she wanted to angle for $ from DH, after all, it's toward the end of the month and she doesn't get her disability $ til the first. Now that he and I have separated finances, that's his problem.
So, she began suggesting housework she could do. First, it was cleaning my upper kitchen cabinets but I vetoed that since none of the 3 of us, DH85, me77 nor SD60 with her chronic back problems is going to get on a ladder if I have anything to say about it. Then it was carrying a large chair downstairs which I again vetoed. "Why? I've had back trouble for years but nobody cared". All this time, DH85 was starting to droop, he's a cancer patient on a new drug that causes fatigue. He mentioned his nap several times. She also wanted to powerwash the exterior but he said no, not now.
We finally decided she would clean an entertainment center where he parks lots of junk and another shelf. I knew she wouldn't rest until she did something. Lots of self-congratulatory remarks about the excellent job she was doing. DH was drooping more than ever. She came into the living room and started dusting but I told her I'd already done it. Finally, I said, "Dad is ready for his nap". She left soon afterwards.
I guess I should be grateful that she wanted to help but the truth is she came here uninvited to extort $ from him. I'm always amazed at how she doesnt pick up on behavior clues from other people. She gets her feelings hurt when people end up saying direct things to her but that could be prevented if she tuned in to others rather than focusing on what she wants. Sigh
Ok, I feel better now. Lol.
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Comments
No indication that she was paid. Hopefully that is the case.
Toxic can starve IMHO.
Let her starve. Top Ramen at 10 for a $ will get her through until she gets her next entitlement check. Don't give her a Cent. If she does not have enough for Ramen, no doubt she could stand to lose a few Lbs anyway. Not your problem nor is is your DH's problem.
"TY for the shelf cleaning. Have a nice drive home. Buh-bye". Then close and lock the door in her face.
DH's problem
Whether he gave her any money, that's his prob. He probably did.
One of many aggravating things is that one day, she's near death's door. Her back pain is so severe, she's moaning and groaning, needs to take more pain pills, etc. The next time you see her, she's ready to hoist a large chair and take it downstairs. So, what's the truth? I think she has some back pain, not as severe as her drama shows, but also has such poor judgement that she will do things thst make it worse.
I think the truth is obvious.
She is full of shit and evilly manipulative.
Would be my guess anyway.
You know she came over for her handout. $$$
She just wanted money. Being helpful to get what she wanted. You know there something wrong with her. She will never change. She is 60. How is she going to change. Just protect yourself, DH is 85. Anything can happen to him any day. Make sure you have control over all the money and assets. Or SD will get everything and you will be out on the streets
Oh, yeah
Dont worry, Harry, I've got it covered. I have also noted SD's car description and license number. If DH passes, I'm calling the police and letting them know she's barred from the home and to watch for her car.
When my DW's GM passed, her aunt (FIL's sister) emptied the
house of everything she wanted and pretty much anything of any value. She drove all night from out of town, picked up a U-Haul and cleared it out.
The audacity of that POS floored me when she showed up at my FIL's funeral even 24 years later. My SIL (DW's youngest sib" did the same crap when my FIL passed. She took things that he had left for both of my BILs and for my DW. It has been 4 years since he passed. Still it chaps my ass.
These types of people never cease to nauseate me.
Obviously forgiveness is not my strong suit.
I am glad that you have protected yourself in the event of your DH's passing.
A little preview
BM died a few years before her DH, "Clueless", but when he got sick with cancer, the SKs and GKs showed their true colors with OSS the only one to visit and help him. Clueless's brother knew the score so alerted the neighbors with a description of SD's car and told them to call the police if they saw it. He knew she'd do exactly what your FIL's sister did if she got in the house. He also barred her from the funeral.
It's not just me.
Wierd
That she needs to do something for her handout. I guess that justified it in her head?
Is it possible to use DH's cancer as a way to keep her away? Or at least not come over as often?
Yes, you got it
You are correct. In her mind, she comes over to Daaad's house to shovel out and clean the filth because lazy SM is busy laying on the couch. Daaad slips her cash for all her rescue cleaning. She's not only justified but thank goodness she's able to save Daaad from the unhealthy conditions.
She understands intellectually that he has cancer and limitations. But on a day-to-day basis, when she needs help, she has no one else to call. I've given up trying to talk to her rationally about his condition because she always starts crying. If she were one of my bios, I'd keep at it thru the crying til we got to the other side of it but I can't stand dealing with her that much.
What a wreck
I don't know how you had the patience to deal with her all these years.
I dont know, either
Problem is, as I age, I'm losing patience.