I feel as if I care for my SO daughter at certain times other times I would like to distance myself from her cuz I can't stand her. I know mean......

I cant stand either of them - SS15, SD10 - don't even like calling them "my" anything. They are my DH kids, not mine. I would have raised them completely opposite of how they've been raised. They're heathens, lacking any common sense, and absolutely rotten.

I cant stand either of them - SS15, SD10 - don't even like calling them "my" anything. They are my DH kids, not mine. I would have raised them completely opposite of how they've been raised. They're heathens, lacking any common sense, and absolutely rotten.

They killed my love with their selfishness and games. 

The elder, I used to care about until I realized she was only using me. She would happily see me homeless if it meant more $$ for her. 

The younger, I helped raise and grew to love until I realized that she too only saw me as part gatekeeper, part someone to use.

No. I used to at least care about him, now I feel a mixture of resentment and indifference.

About Ss10 like I would any other child put in my care. Be polite, feed them etc. Wouldn't want harm to come to him. Do I love him no, do I even like him? Only rarely these days 

I love SS20. I want to murder him some days and others I just sit back and think about how far he has come and how much he is doing with all of his challenges and I am in awe. He is a good kid that just has disabilities and that is hard. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him. I fight for him as if he is my own. 

SS15, Exjuliemccoy said it best- he killed my love for him. I tolerate him now. 

I love both of them. 

The oldest is like a little mini me and the older she gets the more she rebels against her mom and the more she takes after me. Like her mom is SUPER into make up. Child HATES make up and wants nothing to do with it. 

Youngest gives me more trouble but his "issues" are "normal" kid stuff being made worse by a bad mom. First day of visit is always reminding him we actally have rules and Im not going to make the older child do and give you everything. 

I care about my SSs and love them in my own way. I've taken on a "parental aunt" role with them, so while I don't see them as "mine", I do see them as family that I want help launch into adulthood.

No I certainly don't love her. I used to at least like her but I don't even like her anymore. She is a two-faced little snot in the height of tweenhood. I really I have no patience for her self-centered, self righteous, self-absorbed little self!

Very rarely do I talk about her with other people, in fact I think the last time I even mentioned her was because I met another woman who seemed to be a struggling stepmom and she needed somebody to empathize with. Other than that sd13 does not really factor much into my thinking or my life.

I wish we could call them kids-in-law instead of step kids.

Love them?  that would be a no.  In the past I have hated them at times, when they were creating unwanted stress and drama in my life, but not too much of that in the last few years.  If they started creating that again I would hate them again. 

No and tbh I secretly snigger when things go wrong for them,  This is due to the fact that they ignored me in my own home and the arguments this created between myself and DH changed our marriage.

I think they all read "How to create a wicked SM" because it appears that is what I have become and I don't care.

I view homeless looking feral child sd9 as an abused foster child to help me get through having an intruder in my home. She is very compliant with anything I tell her to do so I make sure to give her lots of praise and help her as I would if I had an actual abused foster child in my home. I don't love her and would not choose to hang out with her if I didn't have to though. 

At one point I did love and care for Spawn, but now she is just somebody that I used to know.

I've gone through the wringer with my skids during the past 15 years. I have loved them. I have hated them. I still love and care for them, but I hate their choices. My love for them is conditional, and it is closely tied to how they treat my DH. Right now they are being lovely to him. And on and on we go on this rollercoaster...

I have different feelings about each of my SKs.  First of all, i have a kind of love for them all as being my DH's children and being people i raised.  For my SD58, i feel hostility for the way she treated us while living here for 10 hellish months when she showed her true druggie, lying and stealing colors.  I am distancing myself from her as much as possible while maintaining a civil, polite facade.  I love SS56, a dear person who has always shown me respect and love.  He and his wife even visited my elderly mother on a regular basis!  I know he was doing that for me.  I respect SS53.  He and i have always had an arms length relationship but i know he respects me and i feel the same.  He is an exempmary father.

In short, like with all people, i have individual relationships with each.  When i was in counseling, i was told this is fine.  Actually, i have different feelings about each of my BKs too, I'm too lazy to lie to myself.  Lol.

Most days. I can feel that it is fragile though and could go away. I want what is best for her and still hope that we can have a good relationship going forwards. We are about to enter teen years so if we can get through that ok then that would be great. I do not expect it to be easy, but I hope that we can get to the otherside and still have good feelings for each other. 

since she was 18 months old.  She is trying hard to navigate step life with Beaver as her mom.

SS..he nuked the bridge with me when he decided DH was the root of all evil in his life. The last text message where he called me a slut and whore...cratered any relationship I might ever consider with him.  Not only did it cratered it with me, but it cratered his relationship with DH.    

I love SS22.  SS17 - same as some others - killed my love so I tolerate and fake smile.

I care about them...as in I don't want anything bad to happen to them...because I love my DH and know he would be heartbroken if anything happened to them, but in all honestly, right now, I don't like them. One is an overly-dramatic teen who always has to tell DH how he needs to be nicer to BM and how BM does everything (even though BM has been abusive to DH for years and they would both be better off if they just co-existed without interacting). The other one is quiet and a bit weird, so I find him sort of creepy. Maybe when they start becoming more independent of BM...and stop serving as her minions...I'll like them more, but right now, I'll settle for tolerating them. 

Hate.  I hope the karma bus runs right over her.

I used to feel loving feelings toward DH's two daughters when they were younger.  Then BM PASed them, I disengaged 12+ years ago and now I feel indifferent towards them.  They both live 1,300 miles away:-)

I care for them. Hope that their lives are fulfilled and successful. But nope, don't love them. I like them a lot, but love has never developed. Might be because they are older and I see them so rarely now. 

I don't hate or love my SD and I definitely don't claim her like she is my very own child.  I do care about her though. On very rare occasions she is likable. She has always been way to EXTRA for me to stand being around.  Her level of attention seeking in so many different forms gives me anxiety.  I wish/hope she would grow up to be a better person but she is already so manipulative that I don't think that will happen.  The only bright side of that is she will likely stay living with BM forever and not us because BM treats her like the center of the universe.

In order to love them they would need to be respectful, civil and pleasant to be around but they are none of those things.

Do i like them? As per above reasons, NO!!

Do I care about them? In the beginning i felt as if being a positive role model was important for them to learn by example since bio mum did a bang up job raising these kids to be self centred disrespectful lazy arse leeches.!bu when they abuse you, disrespect you and shun you and are unpleasant to be around, you lose any care in the world for them. 

Bio mum 1.5 yrs ago called my sil over the top singing me praises and how i loved her kids like my own... i wanted to punch her in the face!! This bitch called me a half naked whore to the skids and whoever would hear. She didn’t even want skids and palmed or handballed the caring, nurturing and parenting to others to do. But somehow i must love them like my own 

I have become fond of SS20 and SS17. SD24 apologized at Christmas and our relationship is a work in progress. While I do not love her, I've grown to like her.

I genuinely love SD27, who has turned into a lovely, caring woman (once BioHo let her true, hideous inner self be seen and did {possibly} irreparable damage). We talk on the phone about once a week for a couple of hours. She has slipped and accidentally called me 'Mom' a number of times. 

Even if I cared nothing for the skids, I wholeheartedly love my DH. I  want them to be happy and successful and hope nothing bad happens to them.

Yes I do. But I'm not unlike many here. My DH is custodial of SS9 and I spent most of our last 8 years raising him and being his primary care giver since I was a SAHM for most of it. He has a similar personality to mine although he has his typical kid and steplife behaviors. 

I don't hate them, but I don't love them either! 
it's been tough for me to accept this. 

2 teen boys.  They're good kids.  They're, on the whole, easy to have around.  That being said, we only have them EOW.  I'm lucky.

I've come to realize that the better the relationship with your partner and the better he/she parents, the more you'll like your skids.

I used to have feelings similar to love for them. Those happy warm feelings have been shattered for a long time. Many factors, BMs behavior, both SDs behavior, DHs behavior. Now I try my best to tolerate them. I am happier when they aren't around. I twitch a little when DH speaks of them and dread when they will be in my presence. They took all of the potential love I had for them and squashed it. There was never a benefit for me, the care was always one-sided. I know if anything ever happened to DH I would not have them in my life (unless of course they wanted something, then I would be on speed dial).  It makes me feel bad to admit that I really don't like them, but it's true. They could move far away and I would be happy as a clam.

100% do not like mine. He has been spoiled and not raised right his entire life, he has ADHD and other mental issues none of which are being addressed the right way with consistency - unless I the step parent do the damn work.

He is a rude, manipulative little shit who shows ZERO respect. He did for about the first few months of us all living together back 4 years ago and then I think he got jealous / resentful of not being up his fathers ass 200% of the time and only 198% of the time. Mind you he has no other parent and only lives with us so its not like he ever goes away - he is with us 100% of the time. Every year he gets older he becomes more of a little shit and I can not wait until HS is over bc he better put himself in college, the military or get a job bc he is not living in my house past that point.

My sd14 is absolutely the laziest person ai have ever met. Sje is failing all classes and has had everything taken away but changes nothing probably bc she literally does nothing anyway. I hate when she is at my house and cannot wait for when she stops sleeping here.

To be honest, I don't know. I suspect not.

When I love someone, I feel that even when they do wrong. 
I don't have that feeling about Skids, even when things are good.

I don't hate them. But I think of them two ways: they piss me off, or I do something nice for them, for DH's sake. There's rarely anything else.

I have wondered about this. I feel like I should love them by now.

It's been over 2 years knowing my future stepdaughter. We did a lot of fun stuff together, she respected me, listened to me, and didn't constantly cling on her dad. The past few months it's been hard to find the connection I had with her in the beginning. I have a hard time liking her, but I still love her. She came from her father, who is an amazing man most of the time and she can be really sweet sometimes. Just lately she has been showing some big signs of mega mini wife syndrome and it makes it hard to be around her a lot of the time. But if something was wrong or bad happened to her, I would still be there for her.