im assuming the kid was yelling through the door and didn’t try to climb into bed with you. I also assume your fiance did what he could to get her to go away ASAP and not share your personal going’s on with the child.

off putting? Yeah.. but bio kids do stuff like that even in intact families. 

What reaction from your fiancé would have helped you feel more at ease? 

Just undressed and about to have sex and he asks me if i want to go out tomorrow with my skids (2 are in their early 20s and another 13 at the time). 

I wanted to beat my husband at that point and he killed the mood. I told him i felt so unappreciated, unimportant, like seriously how is that at all important to ask over and above us being intimate... I don’t tolerate this kinda crap at all 

I would probably have stopped too as yes, I would have felt awkward. However, maybe by calling out to her as he did he was attempting to get her to make herself scarce as quick as possible? 

Yeah, it's awkward. But all kids interrupt sex at one time or another. If she's anything like mine, she would have started knocking or tried to open the door if she didn't get a response. Sometimes the quickest way to get them to go away is a short and quick acknowledgement. And also, maybe he panicked because he wasn't sure if the door was locked.

She didn't know what was going on and he handled her by shouting goodnight. I don't think there is an issue here. but I do understand how you feel. I would be annoyed if skids interrupted like that too. 

Well, he had to say something. If he usually says "Goodnight, I love you," then no, I wouldn't be bothered. 

We usually saved those activities for when SS wasn't there or went to sleep, honestly.  I wouldn't have been comfortable doing "something to him" when SS was wandering the house (but we have a very small house).

He was saying good night to his child..... what was he supposed to do? Ignore the kid then have her repeat herself? Be short with her and have her wonder what's going on there for make it more likely she would ask questions and bother more? 

Agreed with everyone. Happened to us too several times. One time DH had NOT locked the door and OSD came charging in (this was before we changed homes and I put my foot down on kids not knocking first). I literally grabbed the blanket rolled off the bed and hit the floor in about 1.5 seconds. She had no clue. DH got her out of there. I was like WTH DH?! He didn't think she'd just come in....really?

Anyway in both cases the SDs were young enough we shrugged it off and our home has a lock on the master bedroom door.

Did you want him to say or do ?

Being interupted during sex is always awkward. Having sex before the kids are in bed is risky. It might have ruined the moment for me too and I may have not wanted to continue. But i wouldn't hold it against anyone, it is just part of living with kids. There will be other oportunities to have sex. 

We only have the skids every other weekend.  Soooo we don't have "relations" every other weekend.

I have to move the pets out of the room and shut the door.   Then they scratch at the door and kill the mood.  Good times.

Time for a new house rule - when someone has gone to bed and their door is closed, you make as little noise as possible so as not to disturb them (which, of course, covers announcing you are going to bed).